Lachane (Dongle Mailbag)

April 11, 2015

This is pronounced ” Lah Shun Ay”….I thinks it’s French for “My parents are a couple of morons” Good one!

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Hollyn (Dongle Mailbag)

April 10, 2015

An acquaintance named her girl this abomination of a name. Just because you can’t decide between Holly and Lynn doesn’t give you permission to portmanteau those suckers.

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Taffee (Dongle Mailbag)

April 9, 2015

I saw this shitastrophe on Family Feud. This show is a treasure trove of shitty names. Her sister was Ramsey just an fyi. I guess this post kills two shitty names in one post.

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April 7, 2015

Thank god this is a girl, or this kid would die in an avalanche of masturbation jokes before 10th grade.

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Pentagram (Dongle Mailbag)

April 6, 2015

Hi… my name is Pentagram. I honestly don’t think my mom knew what the word meant when she chose it… or she did and just din’t care. I go by Penny… it’s easier that way. I don’t believe you for one second, but I am adding this name on the off chance that I am […]

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Sakowen (Dongle Mailbag)

April 5, 2015

This name was given to a white boy. The mother should of spelled it Sakowin(after the Lakota for #7) but, the trashy mother can’t spell so, They now call the poor kid Shakowen Why the fuck would ANYONE – white, Native American or any other race/color/ethnicity – want to name their child a number?  Isn’t […]

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Kevasiye (Dongle Mailbag)

April 4, 2015

You could offer me $100 to correctly pronounce this one, and I would just have to tip my cap to you and congratulate you on hanging on to that money.

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April 3, 2015

Welp – good luck with this one, Jackasta!

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Tripayne (Dongle Mailbag)

April 2, 2015

This sounds like a command to the child.  “You want pain?  Why don’t you try pain!  Hey…maybe I’ll just name you that…”

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Dafinus (Dongle Mailbag)

April 1, 2015

“Da-finest.”  Nice, Mom.  Real nice…

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Sssst (Dongle Mailbag; All-Time List Nominee)

March 31, 2015

This name came up on a school roster. My first thought… Were their parents trying for sound a snake makes or maybe it was “sit”? Nope, I was way off. It’s Forest (4 s t). Yes…Forest… W.T.F…. I thought Neveah was the stupidest name in existence. I stand corrected. God damn.  I go through a […]

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Joenald (Dongle Mailbag)

March 30, 2015

What the fuck is going on here?  Is this a mash-up of Joe and Donald?  It is, isn’t it?  Wow.

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March 29, 2015

Sounds like a product you’d use to repel ants.

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Rhaki (Dongle Mailbag)

March 28, 2015

White girl in a corporate atmosphere. Named Rhaki. pronounced like Rocky. WTF

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Ambrosia Lynn (Dongle Mailbag)

March 27, 2015

I’m sorry, did you just know by looking at her that she was destined to be a stripper? (Disclaimer: I have no idea if she is actually a stripper. She is friends sister..but still….seriously)

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Jamariauna (Dongle Mailbag)

March 26, 2015

I used to be a teaching assistant. One time, while going over the class list for the upcoming school year, I found this doozy: Jamariauna. Is it just me, or does it look like somebody just rearranged the letters in “marijuana”? There was also a Chardonnay on the list that year. Classy!

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Kemykal (Dongle Mailbag)

March 25, 2015

Like chemical…. Only cooler. Really… Sounds like a death metal band.

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Mignon (Dongle Mailbag)

March 24, 2015

This is stupid on several levels. It apparently means “cute” in French, and who would name their kid Cute? Worse still, it’s used for girls by American parents, oblivious of the fact that it’s the masculine form of the word in French. Finally, the poor kids tagged with this idiotic (non)name have to go through […]

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Sleeper (Dongle Mailbag)

March 23, 2015

A teacher at my high school named her son this. Middle name was Westley (after The Princess Bride) and Sleeper was someone’s grandma’s surname, so we all kind of assumed he’d go by Wes. Nope. Parents insisted he go by Sleeper. Wow.

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Gussie (Dongle Mailbag)

March 22, 2015


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March 21, 2015

Tra-shay supposedly, but all I see is trash. You and everyone else.

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Jomoniel (Dongle Mailbag)

March 20, 2015

I hope this kid gets good grades. This is setting him up for a minimum wage job or at least a lot of rejected resumes thanks to his mother.

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Zenna (Dongle Mailbag)

March 19, 2015

I mean, are we at this point in society when we are just throwing names at the wall to see what sticks? She has a kid sister named Zara and a baby brother on the way. My money is on Ziggler! I don’t know…my money’s on Zipper.

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March 18, 2015

I’ve heard this name on several occasions, and each time I just wonder why?  How did this come about?  At what point did someone just get completely stumped on what to name their kid, and then settle on an insect that keeps you awake at night?

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Sekoya (Dongle Mailbag)

March 17, 2015

I just saw a picture of this girl….she was neither a tree or a Native American tribe.

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