About SKN & Dongle

Welcome to StupidKidNames.com. You’ll either love us or hate us. We don’t care which.

We assume you’re visiting us because one of your friends or acquaintances has told you about StupidKidNames.com and was either:

a) horrified at the cruel manner in which we skewer parents and their decisions to saddle their children ridiculously self-indulgent and shamefully stupid names; or

b) delighted at the fact that someone is finally saying what you’ve been thinking every time some brain-dead fuckstick friend of yours has burst through your door swaddling a newborn named Paden, Breckstin, Trinja, Jaggart, Trixton, Alize’, Cearra, Kaydinn, or Dontraveontrelle.

Either way, welcome. We pretty much approve all comments, negative or positive, so knock yourself out.

This site is our forum for the merciless mocking of parents who give their children stupid names. Note that our intent is not to make fun of children themselves, because — well, that’d just be assholish. We have children ourselves, for God’s sake. What do you think we are, monsters?

We are more than one person, although we go by the name of Johnny Dongle. It’s a pseudonym, obviously. We also run the site CLEncounters.com if you’re into funny writing about awkward Craigslist hookups instead of fucked-up baby names.

We do recognize, though, that plenty of children will probably be Googling their own stupid names and find this site. For those of you who fit that description, we’re really sorry your parents were such narcissistic jackasses that they named you something outlandish and retarded  just so their friends would think they were clever. You’re probably right at that stage where kids start hating their parents — and that’s good, because yours deserve to be hated.

Anyway, down to business. Unless you’ve been in a coma for the last 10 years, you know that the trend of saddling kids with outlandishly nonsensical combinations of random syllables has been getting worse and worse. Everyone knows there’s long been sort of been an under-the-breath joke about black families getting, er, creative about the pronounciations and spellings of some of their children’s names (our friend at stuffblackpeoplehate.com goes into much better detail than we, as honkeys, are allowed to) — but the truth is, white people are the equal of black-folk at giving their kids some seriously fucked-up names.

We’re not sure why it started happening, exactly. Some anthropology grad student will probably chime in with a comment in a couple of months, but until then, let’s have fun speculating. It seems to have taken hold sometime in the ’90s — around that time, “regular” names started to not be quite good enough anymore for the new mothers of the world. And by regular names, we mean names that are actually names of human fucking beings other than the one you just squeezed out of your vagina.

We’d explain further, but I don’t think we have to. If you live in the same world we do, you know at least a half-dozen airhead mothers or vacant-eyed couples who blather on about how they wanted their child to have a unique name so that they would be unique — and are blissfully unaware of the fact that all children are unique and a freakish moniker wouldn’t make things better or worse in that regard.

We used to just laugh it off, but the shit is just out of control now, to the point where we had to go public and unite some folks in a rebellion based on ridicule. If you’re the parent of a child with a name featured on this site, then we mean this from the bottom of our heart: You should be ashamed of yourself, although you’re probably too stupid to realize it. And honestly, what’s done is done, so let’s not focus on you.

However….if you’re knocked up and still deciding about baby names, be advised, sweetheart — we’re paying attention, and we’re finding new stupid names to profanely and tastelessly mock every day. You don’t want you and your kid to end up on here, do you?

The rest of you, enjoy the site in whatever way you choose. We love fan mail and hate mail both, and will probably reproduce it all with smarmy accompanying comments with the hate mail. Cheerio!

Your Doting Site Founder,
Johnny Dongle

{ 554 comments… read them below or add one }

James July 28, 2009 at 6:39 am

Awesome site, BTW. Here’s a REALLY stupid name- ADOLF HITLER CHAMBERS. A couple actually named their kid that.

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theft November 23, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Ok, here are a few that my coworkers and I have seen. We work in a pediatric Hospital. Trust me, they are all true.
Porn
Chevy Hotrod
Hemi Dakota [Chevy’s Big Brother]
Diaherria
meconium
Female [fee-malle]
President Austin
La-a [La dash a]
Anis [anus]
Sackmaster
about 30k Neveah’s most spelled wrong [is it me, or do the backward words mean the opposite]
Jurney Decoutah

That’s all we can remember off the top of our heads. More to come

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 22, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Thank you, Theft (is that your real name?).

God…Sackmaster is fantastically bad. So are the brothers Chevy and Hemi.

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JMG January 21, 2010 at 2:38 pm

I have a friend that teaches elementary and she swears there is a little girl in her class whose middle name is Lesassymonkie. I’m a little dubious, but she swears it’s true, and maybe it is…I mean how could you make up something that bad? Lesassymonkie……

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Fire February 11, 2010 at 12:55 am

My name is Fire i have a friend named Ever and her sister,s name is kitten and her twin brothers names are doom and boom.

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Someone February 20, 2010 at 2:52 pm

dude you really need to get a life. or a hobby, try doing somthing productive instead of bashing people’s names. honestly you’re just making yourself look stupid.

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Anonymous October 31, 2014 at 12:38 pm

You did it didn’t you….your poor child

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Latina anal obsession April 2, 2015 at 11:19 pm

Ah yes, always some faggot (probably an Evan or Kyle) with the requisite disingenuous “too much time on your hands” assertion. Because after all, regularly contributing to an ever-growing database of asinine and nonsensical names clearly leaves room for NOTHING else in life. This sad little band of sniveling, jaded cynics eats, sleeps and BREATHES this shit yo!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 3, 2015 at 7:17 am

You are one of my favorites.

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Royalty September 6, 2015 at 11:26 pm

Oh god just shut the fuck up you bitch I can’t take you serious with the choice of name you pick to post your comment, eat shit and choke on a dick…

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Gregg May 10, 2015 at 9:16 pm

Wow you really are a dimwitted fuck stick, aren’t you? Yeah, these people who take 35 seconds to post deservingly derisive comments towards ignorant pea brained parents for naming their kids Nevaeh really leave no time for themselves in the remaining 23 hours, 59 minutes and 25 seconds of the day for work, hobbies, or parenting.

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Eva March 15, 2010 at 12:59 am

I’m shooting the next person in the face that names their kid Nevaeh. IT’S DUMB!! and not original!! All these Nevaehs will be juvenile delinquents and/or strippers (hookers) before age 12. gah people….really….it’s okay to name your kid a “normal” name.

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Gregg May 10, 2015 at 9:21 pm

Thank you. I wish this entire website would actually discard every name in existence just to serve as a social media slaughterhouse for that particular name. People who choose to name their kid this im convinced aren’t even concerned about raising their kids at all, just coming up with a “unique” name.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 16, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Thanks, Someone. I never realized I was making myself look stupid — even though you have no fucking idea who I am. That means a lot coming from someone who can’t put together a legitimate sentence.

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RK403 April 5, 2010 at 11:35 am

Here’s an idiotic name some lady named her son. Saw this while making rounds in the NICU:

Qwinzy

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Tasha December 28, 2014 at 10:04 am

My first year teaching, I had a Quytay (Kwah-Tay) in my class. He had a sister named Quatasia and a cousin named Quateria.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 9, 2010 at 8:54 am

Indeed it is, RK…indeed it is. Makes you wonder if there’s more to that child being in the NICU — like brain damage from maternal drug use.

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Tina (see? normal names exist!) April 12, 2010 at 7:39 pm

i sh*t u not. i met a guy (who did waaaay too many drugs) who literally named his son Annhilation. i didn’t believe him, so i had him bring in his son’s birth certificate. so i asked “did you WANT your kid’s ass kicked in preschool?” and he answers “well, they can always call him Niles”. as if that’s any better…

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 13, 2010 at 6:25 am

Pathetic, Tina. You should take a shit in his coffee.

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Kelli April 13, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Long time since I have visited the site, I seemed to have lost it from my favorites. Anyway, I seriously came across someone who named their kid Oceann! How’s that for RIDICULOUS???

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 20, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Welcome back, Kelli.

Oceann is beyond ridiculous. You should have drowned the parents in a real ocean.

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Casey March 19, 2016 at 12:21 pm

The name Ocean is not that bad, I have a friend she is French canadién and her daughter’s names are : Océane (in French it’s said very softly like. O-say-anne) she also has a daughter named Made but in French her nick name is pronounced (ja-dou-ee).

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Casey March 19, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Jade* not made**

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 31, 2016 at 3:24 pm

Great story!

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Anonymous April 22, 2010 at 8:26 am

Here are a few I’ve heard recently – Abcde (Absedee), A-le (Adashlee), Cyndal, brothers Trafford and Stretford, Talis and Torin. I haven’t quite perfected the “Ohhh, I haven’t heard that name before. Where did it come from?”

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 23, 2010 at 9:36 am

You should never perfect that, Anon. These maniacs need to be told straight up how fucking stupid their kids’ names are!

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Yurik Hunt May 8, 2010 at 11:59 am

Please add Skyler / Skylar to the list. Everytime I hear someone call their kid that it makes my flesh crawl and I feel a sudden need to vomit. Has to be the worst name ever.

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Anonymous August 16, 2015 at 2:55 pm

Sorry I’m late. THIS. FUCKING THIS. Skyler is the dumbest name in the entire existence of all things moronic.

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Rob May 17, 2010 at 5:55 am

Just saw someone on FB say they will be naming their baby Cayson. Not sure how they came up with it, but several historically bad mocking names popped into my head. Many kids get nicknames from others and either being called Cay (very girlie) or Gay son seemed the most likely of them. IMO, bad name.

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steve franklin June 3, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Abcde (pronounced Ab-sid-ee)

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Stella June 15, 2010 at 12:52 pm

I’m not even fucking kidding about this – someone that used to be in my class is named Fairy. I just only remembered that while browsing this site.

Sure, cute little girls should have cute names, but Fairy? Seriously?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 17, 2010 at 6:54 am

Sickening, Stella. At your next family reunion, seek out Fairy’s parents and kick them in their fucking faces.

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Anonymous January 25, 2015 at 2:08 am

why are yall so crazy about what people name there child it is none of yall concern and my name is amayah and i have cp gtf out of here with this bull

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Logan April 27, 2015 at 9:20 am

You have a normal name. And wtf do you care if we all can’t stand people naming their kids in such a way that those children will be teased and ridiculed. And honestly, L-ah as Ledashah? That’s just plain stupidity. And why are you telling people what to do online, anonymous? Did you realize, NO-ONE CARES ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ON THE INTERNET, EVER. Including what I just wrote.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher May 2, 2015 at 6:19 am

I care what you just wrote, Logan. I care…

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Anonymous August 16, 2015 at 3:05 pm

It is deeply my concern. I’m going to end up with a friend named Oranjello or Lemonjello (still can’t believe it) who I will have to support when they break down mentally at the sheer stupidity, ignorance, and negligence it took for their parents to pick that name. Not to mention all the flack they are gonna get from every kid EVER. So yea, I actually care a bit……….

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Natalie (a NORMAL name) June 26, 2010 at 10:46 pm

I watch children at a fitness club and I want to curse out these a-hole parents for naming their kids:
Race
Tustin
Huntington
Shy-anne
Cyndal
Cianna
I’ve heard many more

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Anonymous January 6, 2015 at 12:48 am

I’ve seen names like ass man pronounced assman

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Shelby September 11, 2015 at 4:34 pm

My cousin’s best friend is named Rayce. The only thing that could possibly make it worse is that his last name is Carr. Rayce. Carr.

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Natalie (a NORMAL name) June 26, 2010 at 10:57 pm

What’s worse is that the few times I have seen kids with
my name Natalie, their parents RUIN IT BY SPELLING IT WRONG ! This scenario has happened many times. I tell them that ‘Natalie’ is a good name OF COURSE the mother tries to one-up me! They get a happy look on their face as if they are proud and then inform me that their child’s name is spelled Nataly, Natalye, (the worst yet) Nytyly.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 28, 2010 at 10:20 am

You should curse at them Natalie. Then you should tell them to come visit our site. Maybe that will humble them a bit (although most likely not — people with egos this large are generally undeterred by the truth).

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Emma June 28, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Starr-Desire. I kid you not. Perfect for a career as a ‘lady of the pole’, which when you meet the child in concern appears to be something of a certainty.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 29, 2010 at 6:37 am

It’s sort of a chicken and egg question, isn’t it? Does the name make the slut or is it just fate that her name fits her? I am betting the former…for the most part.

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Dan July 12, 2010 at 1:46 pm

PatXi
Saw this on a name tag in Boston.

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Frustrated Teacher July 12, 2010 at 9:38 pm

I think I had the worst possible “creative spellings” in my class the past two years:

Christeen
Teejay
Zackaree
Parcer (Parker)
Seanah (Shawna)

Seriously people!

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Tasha December 28, 2014 at 10:06 am

One year across 5 classrooms: Kayden, Brayden, Hayden, Jayden, Zayden, and Caden.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 14, 2010 at 6:52 am

I commend you, Frustrated Teacher. That would be enough to make me go back to college, earn a degree in something completely unrelated to education, and start a new career.

Parcer may be the worst I’ve ever seen.

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Liz V. July 17, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Oh, my GOD.
I absolutely love this site. I entertain kids for a living, and I feel so sorry for some of them, with the stupid names they’ve been christened with. It’s really getting out of hand. I try to announce the birthday child at a party and I can’t pronounce the name, and I don’t know the sex of the child.
I also think you might get a huge kick out of two characters in a small puppet show I do on the web(scroll down a bit):

http://puppatoons.wordpress.com/gallery/cast-of-characters/mo-and-friends/

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Charlie July 18, 2010 at 7:12 pm

So my name is odd (im a female) But these are people that I have met and it is BAD……..

Angel Heaven
Crystal Morning, Misty Fall, and Rainy Dark…..all sisters who were named after the weather on the day the were born.
Oeana
Giganta, who i worked with years ago and was bigger than my husband who was a 300 lbs 6’4″ Linebacker

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 19, 2010 at 6:52 am

@Liz — I feel deeply for you. I couldn’t imagine having to stutter through some of the shit that you must, as I have the luxury of taking hours to research the pronunciation.

@Charlie — Those weather name are incredibly bad. What if they had been born on a hot, muggy Alabama morning. Sweaty Stank, anyone?

I think Giganta is only appropriate if the child is born in excess of 15 pounds and/or 36 inches long.

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Dee July 26, 2010 at 11:46 am

I recently found this website and love it.
I have heard some pretty bad names and here’s the most recent: President. I mean seriously, what makes people think that’s a name.

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Amy the GYN PA July 26, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I’ve heard a LOT of bizzare names over the years — Shandalier, Unique, Jonas Say Kwan (did she mean Je Ne Se Quoi?), and even Syphilis (he pronounced it Sigh Fullus). But the strangest HAS to be (spelled like this) Shan’qua. I said “Shan-QUA”, then “SHAN-qua” when calling her out of the waiting room. She corrected me by saying (in a VERY nasty voice) “It’s Sha NEE qua!” I showed her the chart and asked, “Is this how it’s spelled?” She said it was. I said, “And you pronounce it Sha NEE qua?” She said yes. I asked “Why?” She said, with massive attitude, “There’s an APOSTROPHE in there!!” Geez, last time I checked, and apostrophe didn’t have a SOUND, you freakin’ dipshit!!!!!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2010 at 10:56 am

@ Amy — Isn’t it a shame that you can’t just point to the door and tell Shan’qua, “You walk to that door and get the fuck out of here and never come back. Shame on you for pronouncing the apostrophe! SHAME ON YOU!”

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Oliver Sipple July 31, 2010 at 11:30 am

These are two of the dumbest names I’ve ever heard of……..they’re real people….not made up

Justin Case
Pete Zaria

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Caitlin August 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm

I’ve seen my share of stupid baby names over the years. including the triplet’s I went to school with: Princess, Precious, and Porticess (pronounced Porsche-ess) and their brother King.

I’ve had any number of people misspell my name over the years or people asking me why I didn’t spell my name more ‘creatively’, my personal ‘favorite’ spellings being: Katelin, Caetlyn, Caitland, and Kaitlynn, but noithing can top this version that I saw bestowed on a young girl in my local paper: Caytelynne.

I also have to present a child born to one of facebook friends: Sayloyre Alysabeth; I’m not even sure how this “name” is suppose to be pronounced. But I guess this name goes great with their other children: Remyngton Aydyn and Lawryn Mashell.

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Laura August 12, 2010 at 4:52 pm

I found your site a few days ago. Been laughing my ass off since.

So today I open the newspaper to an article concerning fashion for babies.

What made it even better?

The name of one of those babies. Or rather the spelling:

Sebryna.

Using the brain cells I have left, I assumed the name is an alternate spelling of Sabrina?

Not only does this poor little girl (2 years old) have to deal with a mother obsessed with baby fashion trends, she will spend the rest of her life cursed with this freakish spelling of a pretty name.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 17, 2010 at 9:54 am

@Caitlin — I like your name, but as you said, it’s one of the biggest offenders of being butchered. Oh — and you should immediately unfriend those awful Facebook people of whom you speak.

@Laura — Glad you like the site. We need more crusaders like you. Next time you hear a parent call out a stupid name, spit on them.

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Matt August 27, 2010 at 5:23 am

Love the site, I get pissed at some of the things people name their children, speaking of which, here are two for you, Lendel(or Lendal, not too sure) and Le’DeMario, which he claimed is French, if I stumble upon any more atrocities that are peoples names, I will be sure to pass them along

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 27, 2010 at 7:43 am

Thanks, Matt.

Le’DeMario is not French. It’s shit. You can’t make a legitimate name if you have to stop talking twice while saying it. Le’Mario or DeMario would have been sufficient (although still not the greatest of names).

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Anonymous August 27, 2010 at 11:06 pm

I had a music teacher whos maiden name was “Wall”. She was “Victoria Wall” and for some reason, even though they gave her a real name, they decided to name her brother “Brick”. Yep, he’s “Brick Wall”

Way to go them….

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Bri September 7, 2010 at 4:48 pm

There are a pair of sisters at my high school that were named Heaven-Lee and Cherish-Faithe. Then there were some kids that my history teacher and I were talking about with the names of Female (pronounced Fe-Ma-Lay) Sifalis (syfilis) and Clamidia.

Glad I found this site. I was beginning to think that I was the only one that thought half of these names where stupid.

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Kathryn September 10, 2010 at 4:12 pm

The poor little fucks!

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Matt September 13, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Ran across another shitty name for you, Truly, as in, we truly did not consider how fucking awful it would be to name our child this

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Girl September 19, 2010 at 6:14 pm

I know a girl name Teleathea– tell-ee-thuh. *sigh

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Anonymous January 2, 2015 at 12:14 pm

Sounds like Mike Tyson saying “Theresa”

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Tim September 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Well the people that name there kids stupid names have serious problems, but then there’s just stupid names in general. I have noticed this alot lately with younger people. What the hell happened to classic names like Tim, Jim, Bill, Jack, Sean, Matt, Mike?… Instead there are many stupid other names. like hunter. thats a stupid name lol. Cole is a stupid name. Dakota is another stupid name.

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lucy September 21, 2010 at 9:14 pm

the singer from my chemical romance named his baby girl bandit. BANDIT.

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Juli September 23, 2010 at 2:00 pm

First things first: My parents are NOT to blame for the spelling of my name, I did it to myself in 6th grade, in the early 70s. It’s a shortening of Juliann. I decided that if there was no “e” in my real name, why have one in my nickname?

Now. Over the years I’ve worked in various office situations which included filing or data entry involving people’s names. One that I saw in a hospital’s files in 1985 was “Sheeyit”. The kid was 5 at that time. Judging by his parent’s names, I’m guessing she was pregnant when they immigrated, and they decided to name their kid the first English word they heard. It is possible that is a perfectly normal name in their home culture, but if so, someone needed to have explained the ramifications of the name in the US.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 27, 2010 at 8:09 am

Good God, Juli. That is one of the worst of the worst. They should be deported for the sole reason that deportation may save their child’s life.

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Cale October 12, 2010 at 10:33 am

Hi, just found your site after having one of mine and my wife’s favorite over-coffee bitchfests about….you guessed it, stupid-shit baby names.

We have our share of Dallys’s and Cadens in the family, and still can’t fuckin believe it. We even have one named after cheese – Colby. None of these poor little monsters belong to us, and we would never do THAT to our kids, if we had any. Oh, and WHAT THE FUCK is up with the letter “y” anyway? It’s not that cool people.

Anyhoo…. here’s a couple that we’ve seen and heard lately – Addysyn, Kaytelyn, Senquarius, and, of course, Maddasin. This last one is possibly the stupidest spelling of said name I have ever seen.

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Cale October 13, 2010 at 10:58 am

I feel it necessary to insert an addendum to previous post here, as I have clearly been giving the topic of Stupid Kid Names A HELL OF A LOT OF THOUGHT lately…
It occurred to me that my position on what exactly constitutes a stupid-as-hell name needed some refinement. I know many, many people would challenge my beliefs about stupid names, so I needed a defensible and nuanced structure to said beliefs. So here goes:

1. If you want to name your baby boy Dallas or Houston, that’s acceptable enough. But if you name your baby girl Dallys or Houstyn, you should have to go to prison for child abuse. In other words, the name should be gender specific, and be spelled properly.

2. It is perfectly acceptable to use foreign names for your kid, as long as the first name and last name are of mutual origin, and also if you are only one or two generations removed from the “mother country”. In other words, if your last name is Schroeder, and you were born in Germany, then by all means, name your son Zeigfreid if you want. But if you are a third generation trailer-park dweller with the last name of Johnson, don’t name your daughter Anistasia. And definitely not Anystasya.

3. History is littered with bad names. Ulysses S. Grant, Lyndon Johnson, etc. It’s hard to argue that you can’t name your kid Lyndon if you happen to be a fan of said President. But if Ulysses is ok, then so is Pericles, Aristophanes, or Feces. Why stop there? How about Roman? Name your kid Caligula, or Commodus, or Maximus. In the case of historical figures, common sense should reign. Alexander is good, but not Hercules.

I close by one simple rule…. you just KNOW a bad name when you hear it, or, in the case of modern names, see it spelled. Bad is bad, and it jumps out at you. Period.

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Anonymous August 23, 2015 at 3:46 am

But your name is CALE?

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Anonymous August 23, 2015 at 3:50 am

But your name is CALE?
Seriously, CALE? As in kale, the seaweed?

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Anonymous October 4, 2015 at 5:29 am

Kale is not seaweed.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher October 14, 2010 at 7:51 am

You’re good people, Cale. Good people, indeed.

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Erika November 11, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I LOVE THIS SITE! :D
I love hollywood stars that name their kid something just awful…like Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple. Apple? Really? Do you WANT her to be immortally teased? And Jessica Alba’s daughter Honor… honestly. And don’t even get me STARTED on Angelina Jolie. Ugh.
But in my old home town they had regular names, but just awful pairings. Like Mike Hunt (say it out loud, you’ll get it), Will See, and Charlie Vassholez. Oh, and there was seriously a Ben Dover. No joke. What is the world coming to?!

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Erika November 11, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Oh, I forgot the best one…. I went to a summer camp with a girl who’s full name was Roxy Universe Stargazer. I bet her parents were high as a kite….

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 12, 2010 at 8:49 am

Are you sure that was summer camp and not Woodstock?

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sandy from oz November 14, 2010 at 5:21 am

hey all, your site is awesome, love all the comments and your opinions are right on the money- I met a lady at the park with 2 boys- Griffin( a bird or dragon) and Talon ( a claw?)- obsessed with medieval era or Harry Potter? But Talon seems to be catching on- there is another one at my sons kindy too- HMMMMM.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 15, 2010 at 10:52 am

Yes, Sandy – I’ve seen Talon on more than one occasion. I hope that the little Talons of the world all actually grow their own, real talons, and gouge their parents eyes out with them.

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Israel Gonzales November 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Im wondering what you think about my name cause i know its fucking weird…. and yes i am mexican with a jewish name

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 16, 2010 at 8:06 am

It sucks.

Don’t fret over it, though – it’s not your fault. But naming a kid Israel – regardless of nationality – is just as absurd as naming him Palestine.

You should immediately go tell your parents you hate them.

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gilley November 16, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Here’s one …. Timber. Yes, as in tttttiiiiiiiiimmmmmmbbbbbbbbeeeeeeerrrrrr — look out asshole, here comes a tree Timber. If her stupid ass parents fall in the forest, and nobody is around to hear them, should someone smack her parents upside their dumb heads for giving their kid this stupid name???

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mo November 17, 2010 at 9:33 pm

Please look at this site: http://www.castleviewhospital.net/webbabies/index.php

It will give you fodder for weeks. Unfortunately, they’ve recently removed the archives, eliminating your ability to see photos of Getman, Jaquessynn, Jaxsyn, and a slew of Kambry/Cambrie/Caymbriee/Kaymbriee (seems that they are churning out a whole lot of future strippers), but you still have Bryken, Macyn and Decklyn to amuse you.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 19, 2010 at 10:55 am

Excellent detective work, Mo. Thanks!

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Larry November 21, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Suw
Yes, this was the name given on the card of a particularly nasty government official. We partly got our own back by ringing her office and asking to speak to S U W. Who? SUW etc etc oh you mean Sue, no S U W ……..

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Finn November 22, 2010 at 1:26 am

I have one for you, my sisters friend’s name is Niamh.

Turns out it is pronounced Nieve, and is of Irish origin… because Gaelic is so widely spoken in this country, I am sure that people will never made the same mistake I did and attempt to call her Ni-am-h or Ni-arm.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 22, 2010 at 7:30 am

Wow. Fucking W-O-W! The sad thing is, it’s pronounced like “Nieve” – but I have no idea how to pronounce that either! Nee-ev-uh? Nee-ev? Naive? Nye-vuh?

I would, without exception, call her Ni-am-uh. If she tried to correct me, I would tell her to go correct her shit bag parents. instead.

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Anonymous August 16, 2015 at 3:24 pm

For a sec there I thought they were named after a battery type

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Anonymous August 23, 2015 at 4:04 am

Actually, Niamh is a perfectly acceptable name with a fine and noble history.
The pronunciation is akin to that of Neve (as in Neve Campbell, a peculiarly American compromise of a name consisting, as it does, of both a mis-spelt forename and a vaguely connected surname – vaguely connected because they are both Celtic, although one is Irish and the other Scottish).
To deride Niamh as a stupid kid’s name simply because it falls outside your own personal experience and is therefore unfamiliar to you is to deride Irish culture in general and so borders, however tangentially, on racism.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 24, 2015 at 1:44 pm

I’ve had this site for I don’t know how long and have had countless hate posts, fights and disagreements, but you are the first one to ever play the race card. Impressive. You are far and away the worst person ever to visit my site.

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Casey March 19, 2016 at 12:44 pm

Also names like Ailis, Aofi, Ceidligh, Siobhan, Gaelic has unique pronunciation. A lot of the ‘normal names’ in north American are Anglicised versions of other names. Just saying.

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James December 1, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Dude…great site! It’s about time someone took true action to at least attempt to protest the ongoing plague of shit names in this fucking country. Any person who would name their kid “Sincere” no matter how they spell it, should be sodomized by gorillas.

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me December 2, 2010 at 12:36 am

I know a girl who named her daughter Symphony Rain.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 2, 2010 at 8:27 am

Gorilla sodomization? I totally agree, James.

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Gene Pool December 3, 2010 at 7:25 pm

I could never work in the healthcare industry. I’d be tempted to immediately anesthetize and sterilize anyone who squeezed out a kid and named it one of these horrendous names. Someone obviously pissed in their gene pool and they need to be stopped from procreating again! Oh the humanity!

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Mads December 4, 2010 at 12:19 am

I met a Twicrap fan who was going name her daughter
Bella Edwina Jacoba (said “Shak-cob-beana”) Victorya Stephanie Meyer Cullen Volturi ReNey Rosaly Alyce Lee-A (said Leah) Charlie Carlyle Washington Esme Jaspa Emett Sunderland.
I also am sick of the name Embry, it reminds me of sexual education back when I was at school.

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Mike December 4, 2010 at 7:01 pm

My ex’s friend named her kid Trinity. I said that will be a great stripper name.

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Michael December 4, 2010 at 9:35 pm

My cousins names are (All from the same parents) Cayhdehn, Neveiah, and Maihyiah.

Beautiful… Yes?

No. Definitely not.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 6, 2010 at 8:50 am

Holy shit, Michael! That may be the worst trio of names I have ever seen in one brood! I would fucking shoot myself right at the Christmas dinner table, leaving behind a note explaining that the exact reason for doing so was the names of those kids.

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Heather December 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm

My mom had a friend in high school…last name was Spivey. She named her kid Sundance. Enough said.

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Kelli December 9, 2010 at 12:01 am

I’m back…I totally keep forgetting about this! I cam across another ridiculous one, Skyli. Yep, for real!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 9, 2010 at 11:37 am

Skyli!?!!? Holy shit!

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Jack December 14, 2010 at 8:45 pm

I know a girl named “Xochilth.” It’s pronounced Xo-chill.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 15, 2010 at 8:09 am

SMH…

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Abby December 19, 2010 at 5:52 pm

These are some awful names. I remember I went to elementary school with a set of siblings named Fashion and Famous. Famous was a guy. Fashion wasn’t fashionable and I doubt Famous will ever be famous.

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Leesa December 23, 2010 at 10:42 pm

I too have been sadled with a stupid spelling of a normal name.
Saw this one in the local paper about a lady at the races-name was Praline. Fuck I laughed when I read that!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

I bet she’s delicious with Pecans!

Sorry you have to go through life with that name, Leesa. You’re living proof that I am right to call these people out.

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Johnny December 27, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Hi there,a coworker has a son named Cohen(big brother to Brannan)Cohen sounds like a grumpy,old Jewish man last name!Wait,it already is!Too bad,when you have a normal last name,and you name your kid a horrible last name for a first name,thats fucked up!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 28, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Good Christ. Cohen is awful – but I think Brannan may even be worse. At least when I type Cohen, I don’t get an annoying red squiggly line under it – like I do when I type Brannan – as my spell check seethes with anger at that concocted word.

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Allie January 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Best one I’ve heard. Gabe Horne, just say it out loud. Also very sad, Shi-thead, some foreign man a friend once worked with.

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Dan January 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I have a friend of a friend who named their boy Aslan. Why. Seriously WHY?

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n.d. January 3, 2011 at 5:20 pm

A Facebook friend of mine named her kid “Addison Lexus”. Now all we have to do is wait for Lexus to bring out a car called “Addison” and people will make even more fun of the poor little one.

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Jackie January 3, 2011 at 9:28 pm

The full spelling of my first name is Jacqueline, a classic French name, also the name of a beloved first lady and my grandmother. I once had a tele-marketer call and ask for Ja-KAY-lyn. I took me a minute to figure out he was butchering my name. What has the world come to? I work at an elementary school and the worst name yet has to be Tiauannah (pronounces Tee-AHN-ah), but always mispronounced by substitute teachers as Tijuana (Mexico).

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Mads January 4, 2011 at 11:29 pm

I read an article about child pageants in an old magazine the other day and all the kids had stupid,cutesy names like:

Princess
Angel
Beauty
Dazzle
Eden
Neaveh

and every single one of them was dressed as a mini striper

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 5, 2011 at 10:30 am

It’s disgusting, huh? It’s like these people think they’re giving birth to dolls or hood ornaments, and not live, human children with feelings and futures.

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Sauron January 5, 2011 at 4:09 pm

I taught a Kodi today and didn’t even blink an eye. (Honestly, the kid is going to have to spell it for the rest of his life.)

Worst I’ve come across:
Kaius
Tiger
Brazen
Avarice
Jaguar
Venger
Harry Kuntz
Nathan (as a girl’s name)

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 7, 2011 at 10:09 am

That’s quite an impressive list, Sauron. What the fuck is a Venger!?!? What does one of those look like?

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Sauron January 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm

I believe Venger was the villian from the old DnD cartoon.

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Mads January 10, 2011 at 8:04 pm

My name (Madeline) is mispelled a lot of the time because people expect it to be spelt somthing like “Madilyn” or “Maddy-Lynne” it gets SO annoying.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 10, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Madeline is a fine name – very pretty. Those other things are merely abortions of a fine name.

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Anonymous August 23, 2015 at 4:15 am

Madeleine, not Madeline.
Do you see the irony of complaining about the ridiculous spelling of other’s names whilst proudly proclaiming your own unfortunately spelt moniker?

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James ca March 4, 2016 at 6:17 am

Dear anonymous, you’re a total spaz.

Whack your reading glasses on and try again. Madeline was merely pointing out some of the more ‘funky’ misspellings her name sometimes gets.

Ultimately it can be spelt ‘Madeline’ or ‘Madeleine’ so try again.

I assume you posted as ‘anonymous’ because you have a comedy name?

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Sarah January 12, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Worst names of kids my son has gone to school with: Tank (not a nickname) and Sir Kingston.

Most ironic stupid name I have seen: Princess (a convicted attempted murderess)

Worst misspelling of a perfectly good name: Serra (her parents had the decency to spell it Sarah, but the girl herself changed the spelling; hopefully it was just an adolescent affectation she has since outgrown)

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Scott January 13, 2011 at 10:31 am

I work at a manufacturing facility in the south. Two weeks ago a new trainee came into my office. Wrote his name down — JAVIOUS. When I pronounced it – Jay-V-ous. He corrected me saying it was pronounced Ja-Vay-Vee-Ous. I mentioned that there’s not an extra “v” in the spelling. He concurred and said there’s not an extra “a” in there either. Stupid way to pronounce it, but I have to give the guy credit for agreeing that the spelling didn’t match the pronunciation. My inital thought when I see stupid names, is to blame the person. But, to your point, it’s the parent’s fault. Why oh why do they do it???

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 13, 2011 at 10:34 am

I don’t know Scott, I just don’t know. And at some point, when the child becomes an adult, you have to start shifting the blame. Not necessarily for a poorly spelled name – but to KNOW you’re pronouncing something wrong and to do it anyway? Especially your own name?!? Ridiculous.

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PC January 15, 2011 at 4:47 pm

My roommate works in Labour and Delivery and delivered this gem: Duramax.
Also, when Chinese immigrants choose their names I have gotten to know:
Roman
Purple (Roman’s wife)
Lettice
Evon (pronounced Yvonne)
Basil (my cousin)
Bertram
I mean, I’m just glad my parents came up with Priscilla. I consider myself lucky.

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Sausage Mahony January 18, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I recently found out I work with a guy named Sky. While I am pretty easy going when it comes to non conventional names this one kinda made me chuckle.
I do hate the common every day names like Mike, Jim and shit like that. Parents are just being sheep in my eyes, mix it up a bit but dont get crazy.

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praline January 19, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I’m black, from Britain and I am still reeling from the way a fellow sista was telling me, pridefully how she named her niece. When she said the said baby was called “Prada”, I irrationally wanted to kick her over. That aint the worst. There is a trend for Africans to name their children the most europeanfied names that I’m sure the average white would pass over like “Meredith” or “Adelaide”. Give me one of those 5 syllable African names any day of the week. SMDH

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Mads January 19, 2011 at 11:09 pm

I go to school with a Kashmir. And a Shy-Anne.

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Kate January 23, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Worst names I’ve heard:
Vyper (brother to Diesel)
Pantera (a girl)
Bongley
There are no words, I wouldn’t have believed these names if I hadn’t seen the children with my own eyes.

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Mads January 25, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Oh man… It’s “Babies Of 2010″ time again! every year the local paper does a free magazine so people can pay to show of the babies. these a a couple of gems i found…
Sianna
Charlee-Rae
Sheri and Shelby
Blayde
Inika
Torah Jobi
Amayah
Klancy
Tiletha
Kaylen
Laylah
Zander
Peyton
Jovi
Grayson
Mahaliah Jienne
Amarli
Harlen
Tahnee
Seton (reminds my brother of Saten)
Kaelen
Makin
Indee
Jewel

plus all the inevitable Tahlias,Kaydens and Pipers

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FeelingThePain January 30, 2011 at 10:29 am

I have a normal name, with a somewhat unusual spelling (not nearly as “out there” as the examples here), and it’s been the bain of my existence. It gets misspelled, mispronounced, it’s created problems for me at work (when IT people misspell it while creating my corporate email address, and then for some reason are unable to correct it without a court order). People should NOT do this to their kids.

I should have changed my name years ago, but I didn’t because the spelling is based on my mom’s dead brother’s name, and I haven’t wanted to hurt her feelings.

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HA January 30, 2011 at 11:59 am

Some humble parenting choices I’ve come across:

Mister Xavier (yes, you must say BOTH names or he will not respond)
Lehjin (girl)
Cameo (girl)
Nhoelle
Tierza Joy (Tears of Joy)
Dannon and Sheridan (sisters and yogurt enthusiasts!)
Trapper
E’Vion (boy)

Love the site!

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Gia January 30, 2011 at 12:23 pm

My friend’s sister is having a baby girl in a few weeks and her choices are Rhegan Rowyn-Rhiannon, Leoran (pronounced Lauren) Lyla-Lilliette, and Caeriss Carolina-Cate and Autumn Ayren-Arista.
She already has two kids: a son named Cavon Chase-Christian and a daughter named Jiuliett Jianna-Joy.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 31, 2011 at 10:45 am

Sorry Gia – but your friend’s sister is an awful human being.

Jiuliett may be the worst spell-hack I’ve seen, and that triple letter/alliteration bullshit is agonizing.

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Laura February 1, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Just seen in the birth announcements: Chezniee!
(It’s a girl, BTW)

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Kayla February 4, 2011 at 7:30 pm

my sister came across this website somehow and told me i had to check it out and i am SO GLAD i did. ive been browsing through the names on this site and laughing my ass off the entire time! these parents need to not reproduce. if theyre stupid enough to name their children these things, how are they actually raising them?!?! its herendous. and i think whats worse is the names that celebrities are coming up with! like Rebel, Rocket, Rogue, and Racer Rodriguez (sons of American film director, screenwriter, producer, cinematographer, editor and musician Robert Rodriguez), Bandit Way (daughter of My Chemical Romance’s Gerard Way), or even worse Bronx Mowgli Wentz (son of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz). With people that come up with such ridiculous names for their children being role models for the rest of society, its no wonder everyone else is coming up with equally retarded names for their kids.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher February 4, 2011 at 7:49 pm

You’re a women after my heart, Kayla. If I were single…lol….

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BlanerNaner February 5, 2011 at 4:21 pm

There’s a girl at my school named MyUnique Sales (No joke!) and her mom named her that because she was “her unique child”. We always joke about her having a thrift store called MyUnique Sales. Haha.

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Maddy February 22, 2011 at 9:00 am

What brought me here was when me and my hubby were raging about parents giving their kids stupid names. Just this morning we read a news article about a man in Egypt who named his first born daughter “Facebook”

good greif… what’s wrong with people!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher February 22, 2011 at 9:03 am

Now that the people over there have successfully protested to overthrow their government, they should protest that idiot and have him thrown out.

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Sarah March 4, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Oh my God, I heard of this guy who’s last name was Hogg, and he named his daughters Imma and Yura. Nice guy, right? Btw your site is awesome. Who names their kid Megatron?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 4, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Who names their kid Megatron?

Only an asshole, Sarah. Only an asshole…

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gerry March 11, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I heard on a podcast, a reporter from NPR talking about her son, who was named Fountain. Imagine, not only did she have the bad taste to name her son that, but in the three years since she made the mistake, she still hasn’t seen the light and changed it. I would like to add that I have also met a Talon and a Kestral and unfortunately, they are not raptors, but children. Its a shame.

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stfu March 14, 2011 at 8:38 pm

friends of mine have named their kids:

Zayra
Daylan (pronounced ‘day lynn’ – for a boy)
Saxton
Jalen
Kyren

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Katina March 17, 2011 at 9:09 am

My husband and I are first generation Greek, we moved to the US when we were both teens. My name is Ekaterina, and my husbands name is Evangelos (both common Greek names). We named our son Dimitri, after my father in law. I didn’t think Dimitri was too outlandish that he’d be made fun of in American school but it was still sticking to our culture and traditions and no one has mentioned Dimitri in the stupid-names-lists. What do you think?

My husband and I both have shortened our names to our English versions (Katina for me and Angelo for my husband) simply because Americans come up with the ugliest and hardest to pronounce names.

Oh and by the way, if I hear one more person in my office talk about a baby “aydin or jaydin or jaylin or brylynne” I will scream. That’s all.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 17, 2011 at 9:12 am

There’s nothing wrong with Dimitri at all, even in America. Hell – it’s much more common than Jaycen and Breckstin and shit like that (plus, it doesn’t sound stupid like those other names).

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Doug March 17, 2011 at 10:14 am

I recently heard of a kid named Luxurious. Are you f’ing kidding me!!! Idiocracy is taking over…. :(

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 17, 2011 at 10:15 am

And I’d bet you dollars to donuts that Luxurious’ family is anything but.

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Doug March 17, 2011 at 12:36 pm

From what I understand they are most definitely not. Did I mention the kid was a boy? For some reason that just makes the bad name worse.

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Katina March 19, 2011 at 1:32 pm

@Doug – Are you serious??? Luxurious for a BOY!! What are the chances of this kid actually growing up to be anything successful? Would you go to a doctor “Luxurious”?? Fucking idiots.

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Real Usernaeme March 21, 2011 at 8:47 am

I want to kill parents that give their kids names like “ryder”, “skyler” “emerson”, “McKayla” etc. what the fricken hell is wrong with you people??????

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Kayla March 21, 2011 at 1:43 pm

I totally agree that most of these names are insane. But, I guess I’m a bad baby namer too cause my daughter’s name is on this list. Raylee. Just wondering, though, why it is on here. I named her after her dad, Ray Lee. No idea that it meant anything else. So, what does it mean? I think I’m missing something here.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Ahhh…the classic, “I agree – until it hits too close to home.”

It’s not “Kid’s Names With Stupid Meanings.” It’s Stupid Kid Names. Mashing two male names together to name your female child fits that definition. Like a glove.

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Well March 21, 2011 at 10:40 pm

I really want to know what makes you think you’re name is so great? I just saw a Finn. Im sure people thought your name was stupid when your parents named you. Names change with the decades.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 22, 2011 at 6:18 am

Ummm…where in the FUCK did I proclaim that my name is great? And by the way – it’s “your”, not “you’re.”

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Well March 21, 2011 at 10:43 pm

And I just saw an Ekaterina. I mean really people?

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Barry March 22, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I can not make this S&^% up. The Child’s first and middle name….. Tru Fabian. I checked the spelling. That is it.

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Barry March 22, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Long ago in the late 70’s I worked at in a maternity ward. Some names I recall.
Antwain (Wagon for ants?)
Leron Lucius Napoleon III
Female (yes she saw the wrist bracelet and thought the hospital had named her child)
More recently…. Tru Fabian (first and middle names) a boy. Spelling is correct.

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Bev March 23, 2011 at 7:42 pm

I just found this website and I’m thrilled that I’m not the only one that’s sick to death of these stupid f*#$ing names!!

I work in the health industry – so I see some real shockers:
Laudanum and Thallium (twin girls. I shit you not)
Pugnacious Latrine (yep. Seriously)
Tierannee (pronounced Tyranny)
Egypt (last name Smith)
Keanu Rain
Darius
Daelen
Jorja
The list goes on and on…and I am going to scream if I see one more Mikaelah!!!

Recently, I had a teenager called Summ’eah come into the clinic. I called her Sum-eee-ahh. She got a big attitude and corrected me “It’s SUMMER!”. I stared blankly at her before saying “No. It’s not. It’s Sum-eee-ahh” she responded with “Well!! MY MOTHER spelled it like that because she thought it was BEAUTIFUL!!!” *met with more blank staring* finally I said “Both you and your Mother lack any basic understanding of the English language or the alphabet.” Had to be said.

My friend is a teacher and recently got Kerosene in one of her classes. Apparently it’s pronounced CARE-OSS-ON-EEE.

When will it stop??

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Mads March 26, 2011 at 12:25 am

KEROSENE! last time I saw kerosene was when I atempted to get an old lamp to work. it didn’t go well………

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Katina March 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I’d like to just say that “Ekaterina” is a very common Greek name, and this is the way it’s supposed to be spelled. That’s actually not made up.

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Pie March 27, 2011 at 6:49 am

Can I just say, what an awesome site!
I had a teacher at high school who had a baby girl and named her what I think was supposed to be Mauve (the shade of purple), but spelled it “Move”.
I used to work in a department store which sold clothing. I had a lady come up to me and ask, “Where can I find some stockings for Sunshine Sparkle?” Of course, I blurted out, “What’s that?” I hastily covered with, “What age group are you looking for?” and of course she answered, “Young girl”.
Is there a derogatory name for parents who give their children stupid names? if not, someone needs to invent one.

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Frogmella Slob March 11, 2016 at 3:28 pm

Isn’t Sunshine Sparkle a My Little Pony??
My daughter is planning to call her first-born Rainbow Dash, but she’s only 7 so I think I have time to talk her out of it….

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Ethyl March 31, 2011 at 8:04 am

Keundra… Pronounced “key-on-dra”. The mother hatefully informed me.. the name is spelled “just like it sounds”.

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Heidi March 31, 2011 at 8:07 am

Makeddah… Mac-ked-duh… Stupid, stupid made up name.

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Lucy April 3, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Loving this site! I’m a teacher so I see a lot of stupid names.
How about these treasures:
Jarvis
Ricadonna (isn’t that a type of wine?)
Lateefa
Etnies (shoe brand), and
Caesar.

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Christian April 4, 2011 at 8:22 am

I just had a baby girl (well, my wife did) and I got to pick her name because it was the deal that I pick the girls names. I chose Rachel because I like the meaning AND because it’s normal. I did tease others around me by telling them that I was going to name her Mi’sheale (Michelle) with an “i” at the end – you don’t pronounce the “i” or say it but you know it’s there.

While I was just joking, after she was born there were parents that we could hear coming up with names for their twins (boy and girl) and they came up with Le-a (pronounced Le-DASH-A) and Byronchtian (they had to spell it to each other because neither one could pronounce it).

My head hurts.

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Nicole April 5, 2011 at 10:14 pm

MarLea. Found this on a hospital website.
As if Marley wasn’t bad enough. Unreal.

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Sarah April 6, 2011 at 9:20 pm

A woman in my community pregnant with twins is naming her daughter Brakelle (the names of the parents, Brandon and Kelly, combined.) The poor baby is doomed even before she comes into the world. The male twin’s name is going to be Brock, which is semi-normal compared to Brakelle. God help them both!

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tricia April 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Here’s one for you. My friend’s friend just had a baby and named him D’Joser (pronounced joser) ????
His older brother’s name is Oden.

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Hilary April 8, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Love the site. I have to admit, I was one of those “I’m going to name my children Skyler and Harley and Taylor – all girls of course.” Yeah, that was when I was 15 years old. I have since matured.

Years ago I became painfully aware of the names people were coming up with. Now, I am a person that thrives on being as different from the norm as reasonably and professionally possible and am proud that I am not a sheep. Ironically, I now worry that I would be sprouting wool on my back these days if I were to give my firstborn a “unique” name. It’s gotten to the point where I am only considering “normal” (but soon-to-be unique?) names such as David, Madeleine, Rebecca, and Benjamin. Did you have any trouble pronouncing those? (I am thinking that you are one of those people that does not have trouble figuring out Madeleine)

One last thought: My name is pretty freakin’ straightforward and simple (thanks, dad, for naming me after a comic strip character – seriously :). How the HELL do people figure that it is spelled “H i l i a r y” ? Don’t add a damn syllable to my name! It’s bad enough that people say, “Oh, like Hillary Clinton!” and spell it with two Ls. Yeah, I love being associated with a politician. It’s even worse that I dated a guy named Clinton. I kid you not.

Thanks for the site. Thumbs up :)

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Ruth April 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

This site reminds me of a crappy bbc program from last year called ‘the kids are all right’ which featured an unfortunate child named lentil.

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Kelley April 11, 2011 at 10:36 pm

A friend of mine has two boys. One is Ryger and the other is Braylen. What the hell? The boys are adorable but their names are fucking horrible. And just for the icing on the cake, when I had my daughter this friend went on and on and on about how stupid my daughter’s name is. I named my daughter Gabriella. Y’know, a normal, easily pronounced and spelled the right way name. FFS.

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Christina April 11, 2011 at 10:53 pm

My son goes to school with a girl named Remedy. And a boy named Uver.

During Valentine’s day card filling out, I couldn’t help but read Vulva in that.

And FTR – my son’s name is a normal name. And I would post it, but I do not want someone randomly googling their name and putting it all together.

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Jennifer April 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I have a friend that named there son Duramax yes after the chevy engine. Myself being named such a plain jane name as Jennifer, my sister sarah mom laura all normal names when I had my first child at 20 i went with Nevaeh. Yes I no what was I thinking ahah 5 years later when I had my son i let his father name him. Jacob. enough said

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Kennedi April 19, 2011 at 5:56 pm

My mother named my sister and I Kennedi and Konneli (born in the mid and late 80s, way before Kennedy/Kennedi became “cool”), but that is nothing compared to the names she gave her dogs…Lyberti Jayn, Justyss Rayn, and Freedym Trayn. Yep, the dogs have middle names! HORRIBLE. Also, I’m a pediatric nurse, so I see some pretty crazy names and (even more often) crazy spellings. Most recent weirdness…

Audren (a boy)
Unique & Unasia (twin girls)

There have been SO many more that I can’t remember right now! A lot of names that you have to ask “how do you pronounce that?” before entering the kid’s room!

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Kennedi April 19, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Oooh I remembered another one…Macaija (ok it spelled something like that…pronounced Ma-Cage-A). And yes, the parents wrote the pronounciation out on the dry erase board in the room.

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Ari April 19, 2011 at 6:56 pm

all the names on this list are funny and interesting, but not stupid hahahahahahaa its so funny how everyone keeps commenting with a name thats different then saying stuff like “oh they have no future.” kids can decide to go by whatever name they want, so why make a big deal out of a name. its only a name. calm your waters. yes. calm your waters. btw my name is ari prounounced “air-ee.” so yeah. short for ariel. like the mermaid. yeah. i havent that one before. you just got your mind blown.

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Ari April 19, 2011 at 6:57 pm

samantha is a lovely name. just putting it out there for no reason. or a reason. you never will know. <333333

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Ann Chovy April 19, 2011 at 11:04 pm

I used to work at a day care and had an Excalaber as in the sword of king aurthur which i was like ok strange but the worst was when asked if they liked that story (even though they spelt it wrong) his mum said Its a type of body spray. i wanted to slap her. They had another child a little girl called Gatgasher said Gate-Crasher.

I hate – names like Anna Bluebell Grace Thomas-Helix thats is a fuck ugly name! and names that you see and you spend a few minutes trying to work out how to pronouce it Ahverah. said A-ver-a why not spell it like that then?!

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Mads April 20, 2011 at 3:16 am

i was just watching a reality show and there was a family with 8 kids. the worst:
Tizane
i study herbal medicine and a tisane is a sort of tea.

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Becky April 21, 2011 at 9:08 am
Siren April 26, 2011 at 12:54 am

I am a medic and these are names I’ve recently stumbled upon and I honestly didn’t know if I should laugh, cry, scream, or punch the parents.

Shithead pronounced shi tade

Nevaeh T’nes legna (heaven sent angel) seriously like Nevaeh isn’t bad enough you have to add more backward spelled words to it.

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Laura May 3, 2011 at 8:52 pm

I love your site and all the angry comments by parents of special snowflakes. My friend wants to name her daughter Serenity. I want her daughter to not grow up to be a truck stop hooker, but she’s not listening, and if one of you -jellos could intervene with an entry the unborn child and I would really appreciate it.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher May 4, 2011 at 5:11 am

Done deal.

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Naomi Lovell May 3, 2011 at 11:23 pm

About time, Kudos!! This bullshit has gone too far. It is an epidemic. My mum in Mildura, Australia knew a girl who named her Daughter Casper – mum always regrets not kicking that ladies ass for being such a thoughtless cunt! I went to primary school with a tiny, weedy, little guy named – Hercules. I now know a lady who befriended two complete wankers who named their first Daughter Oracle and were pregnant with a boy they intended to name Lucifer (can’t be sure they succeeded) I never met these dickheads but if I had I could only have slapped them both! Good luck, I support your endeavour to make a law banning such stupidity – worldwide!!!!!!

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Kenz May 4, 2011 at 3:36 pm

How about the names Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon gave their twins…yikes! Monroe for the girl and Moroccan for the boy. What were they thinking, especially with the baby boy’s name!?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher May 4, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Children are nothing more than accessories to people like them.

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TJ May 4, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I thought you’d be all over Mariah Carey’s twins names, Morocco and Monroe

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Dan May 4, 2011 at 8:46 pm

A friend of a friend named their son Espn (pronounced ESS-pen). I get it, you like sports. I can only hope the irony kicks in when the young man ends up becoming a gay prostitute (which the name is perfectly suited for).

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Tammy May 4, 2011 at 10:26 pm

My daughter Kathryn (Kat) is pregnant. The father is a guy named Zannie…He is a jr. he has 5 other kids already..Zannie III, Maki, Daintez, Dezante, (I think I spelled that wrong..but who would know the difference??) and his daughter Nadashia. I’m terrified of what my first grandchild’s name is going to be…his son has to have a unique name that starts with a Z…He has siblings with normal names..(Tammy, go figure, and Michael) I almost cried when I heard Zequan…What the FUCK??? Maybe that was to make Zayden sound more acceptable? My daughter, before she was pregnant, told me that if it was a boy she would name him David, after her uncle. What happened to that? and if you need to not be boring or common, fine but you don’t have to make it up. I call them drugstore ghetto names. Fit for thugs and strippers.

I just hope she comes to her senses by the time she fills out that birth certificate!

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Elizabeth May 5, 2011 at 9:40 pm

My uncle named his son Loudon. Even with a change in spelling it is too verb-y for my taste.

I also work in a school in the Bronx so I get my share of names that are just ridiculous stereotypes like Nyishequa (ny-she-qua), Christ Jesus and Fellatia Cummings (seriously).

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Fed up with idiots May 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

This site if absolutely fantastic. I love it. I think to myself all of the time, ” who in the hell would name their kid that”? Poor souls are going to be the objects of ridicule their entire lives. You made my day.

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Jim May 9, 2011 at 9:37 am

We got a new receptionist at the office and her name is LINZIE. Just thought I’d let you know.

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david May 10, 2011 at 6:23 am

TUCKER TAIT , GREAT NAME.

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Fed up with idiots May 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

Shawander, no shit, I almost choked on my food. Don’t know if it is pronounced, Sha Wanda or Shaw Ander, poor girl.

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Lisa May 11, 2011 at 1:14 pm

seriously a family friend just named their daughter ‘Bradyen’

if anything that sounds like a BOYS name. I don’t know what goes through people’s minds.

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Ann Onymous May 14, 2011 at 5:44 pm

What about Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s new little bundles of joy.

“As for the inspiration behind the names, Monroe was named after Marilyn Monroe, who has been an inspiration to Carey, 42, while Moroccan comes from the top-tier of Carey’s New York City apartment, which features Moroccan-inspired décor and was also the site of Cannon’s marriage proposal.(http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20486933,00.html)
Monroe is kind of cute, but Moroccan? Poor little bugger! Morocco is a bit of a stretch, but at least it rolls of the tounge a little better than Moroc-Can

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Stacey May 15, 2011 at 12:56 am

Got to say I love this website!!! I work at Build-A-Bear workshop so I get to see awesome names all the time. Here are some I can think of:

Sparkles ( I’ve met two different girls with this name)
J-Cub
(Jacob, whose middle name was Rigley, parents are Cubs fans)
Journey and Journee
Millionaire
Aspen

oh my brother had a girl in his high school named yapromisedme as in you promised me.

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Chris May 17, 2011 at 10:34 am

Skyler
It’s a guy.
nuff said.

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S May 25, 2011 at 6:24 am

I met a kid who was named Steel. Worse part was that he was an 8year old wobbly pudgy overweight freckly kid. Steel? No, just no.

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Yentruoc May 27, 2011 at 6:11 am

First of all, love the site. Second of all, I have seen my own examples of stupid names. A couple of years ago there were three girls in my class called Cyndall, Bronwyn and Suneeta. Also I have a cousin called Mckayla.

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Hugh Jass May 28, 2011 at 10:38 am

My wife is a teacher; here are her all time faves:
Exinteriol (boy), Chazznick (girl), Shampain J’am (girl),
J’qualyn (boy), Unique & Uniqua (girls)
My mother was a school nurse (Title 1 schools):
Dated Idea (boy)
And the winner is:
“Clymatis” (girl) PRONOUNCED CAMILLE
To be fair and balanced, my maternal grandmother’s first name was Dorcus. Sadly, I know two women named Dorcus who are my contemporaries and who’s families don’t have the excuse of being from rural Appalachia.
“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily”

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Anon May 29, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Orihime–for an American child with two American parents

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Concerned Reader June 2, 2011 at 7:39 am

If I hadn’t seen this for myself I wouldn’t’ve believed it.
http://ditl.livejournal.com/1240096.html
These people now have children named Zao Aaven and (wait for it) Haye Jude.

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Sam June 6, 2011 at 9:46 pm

LOVE this site. HATE these names. I worked in human services, and here are some gems I came across:
N’Chukym. Pronounced Sha-kim. I didn’t know Ns were silent.
Stony Fudd…..the second
Shampagne
Diva
Wanakea
Camry
Also a lot of “asia” based names. Me-asia, Ny-asia, Cy-asia, My-asia.

To be fair, some of these children were named by actual crackheads.

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Sam June 6, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Oopsie, forgot to throw my friends under the bus.
Huntur and Haydyn are brothers, and one of their parents is a READING teacher.
Tiani
China
Safiya
Landon

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Hilarious! June 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm

This site is hilarious. I laughed my ass off. The worst/best ones I’ve seen are Kevlar, Lord Marcello Diabolique Johnson II, Precious (Gollum comes to mind), Try, Inteligent (one l), and Jornealio (cornholio?).

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Cindy June 9, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Ok here’s one for you, Now this may sound like a very conventional name if it were for a girl…..Tiffany…Yes a person I knows BROTHER is names Tiffany. WTF.

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That's it. June 10, 2011 at 10:47 pm

I came across somone named Emmaleigh. Why mess up Emily? Geez…

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Nina June 17, 2011 at 6:13 am

I am German and living in Berlin, Germany. Seen lately in the “baby gallery” on a hospital’s website:

Rebel Peppermint (yes, it’s a girl!) with a very common German surname like Schneider or Schroeder.

I don’t know what you English speaking people think of this name but for my German eyes and ears it’s just WTF???

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 17, 2011 at 7:14 am

It’s fucking ridiculous.

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Connie June 20, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I know someone who has a daughter named Cydni – as in, Sydney. Her mother named her…before she ran off to be a stripper or some such and left poor Cydni with a retarded name and my friend, who isn’t her biological father. He should pay to have her name changed – at the very least, the spelling – so Cydni doesn’t wind up following in her mother’s footsteps later on.

Also, an acquaintance recently sent out a facebook poll to help choose her first child’s name. In addition to two perfectly fine names (James and Patrick), the soon-to-be parents had chosen Addicus, Beckham, Bjorn, Deacon, Duncan, and Rush. I vomited in my mouth, voted for James, and then unfriended her…which probably negated my vote. Shit.

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Mark June 30, 2011 at 6:52 am

Your site absolutely tells it the way it is. I work in several schools as a police liason. I see bullying EVERY DAY, and a ton of it is centred around “unique” names. Keep up the great work and fighting the good fight. This nonsense naming has to end. I personally think Government should step in more often and just not allow this shit to happen to innocent kids.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 30, 2011 at 6:54 am

See there, folks? I’m not a raving lunatic after all! A POLICE liason agrees with me. That has to count for something, right?

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Laura July 3, 2011 at 11:16 am

Just seen in the local paper- little 4 year old Aniston! (it’s a girl)

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cinderelly July 4, 2011 at 8:01 pm

My mom’s neighbor named their son Maximum Overdrive. Of course he’s just called Max.

I also worked at a pharmacy and saw too many unique spellings and just plain stupid names. The one that topped the list was Erotica. Mom was a stripper. Dad was unemployed. They had a son named Max that we thought was a dog for a long time because they talked about him like he was a pet. Stellar parenting.

I wonder what Erotica’s teachers think now that she’s old enough for school.

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KB July 5, 2011 at 4:39 pm

I work in child welfare in Florida and really deal with some of the cream of the crop parents down here… of course, as you might imagine, I run into all kinds of crazy ass names. One of my favorites, though, is “Shyterria” – very common with a variety of spellings but always pronounced “shit-aria” or “shit-eeria”… WHY?!?!

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Charles July 6, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Please add two names to the list:
1. La-a
Had to ask the poor child how it was pronounced. She replies, “La-Dash-ah” as she rolls her eyes. Yeah, I’m the idiot… not her parents.
2. Jerkeisha

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jenna July 7, 2011 at 6:02 am

i know a child called Stratton-Dexter.
Cherinda which is a belinda and cherie mix.

Why people hate their children so much to give these shitty names is beyond me!!

Love the website.

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Katie July 8, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I just saw this abomination of ‘names’ on a baby girl name list;
Dukine
Ghayda
Tylyn
Antigone (it sounds stupid even if it is the name of some girl in a play)
Bergitte
Bernardine
And get your barf bag ready for… Tlazohtzin! XD

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Beth July 11, 2011 at 2:58 am

I have a friend whose first name is Cyde. His last name is Burns. Um, yea….

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Katie July 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Lemonjello, awesome site!! =D There was this random on Facebook who was called Lauryn. She requested to tag my photo. Creeps.

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Danielle D July 14, 2011 at 12:04 pm

I know two little brothers named Malkolm and Xzavyier…. *_*

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pete July 17, 2011 at 12:59 am

thank god for your site i thort i was going a little mad with all the trash names dick heads give their kids.

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Abbie July 18, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I was in a class with a girl name Storme. Oh no wait, she spelt it Storm’e. My mistake. -_-

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 18, 2011 at 6:07 pm

No, Abbie…her parents’ mistake.

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Abbie July 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm

I also am friends with a girl named Breeze. I didnt post this to make her feel bad or embarrass her but as i saw names on this site such as Rainbow and Cloud, i thought you like to know Breeze exists along with them.

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Lou July 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm

I had to refund a product for a customer at work and asked the girl (she wouldn’t have been more than 18) to fill out her ID details on the back of the slip. She wrote her name and I didn’t believe it was true, so I asked her for ID.

Her name was RUSTY.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 20, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Was her last name Trombone?

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Betsy July 18, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Today, I met a girl named Marleigh. I said “Oh, like Bob Marley, but your parents have little education outside of Hooked on Phonics?” I was born in 1994. I am proof that there are still people who name their kids something normal.

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Betsy July 18, 2011 at 10:22 pm

I didn’t even think to say that while my mother saddled me with a normal name (Betsy Lynn), my stepmother wasn’t as kind to my sister. She got Mykaila Storm. Appropriate.

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Thor July 19, 2011 at 2:23 am

iName

Yes I made it up but im being serious haha

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Witchjammer Hogleg July 20, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I want to pimp-slap these narcissistic assholes with their stupid Jaydens and Braydens and Dakkotuhs and whatever.

Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann said it best: “You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake…”

Knock this shit off right now assholes!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 20, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Our first Full Metal Jacket reference — I love it.

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Reed Saxon July 29, 2011 at 2:14 am

My wife teaches high school, and I do NOT envy her her job when it comes to kids’ names. The names she has reported to me that stand out:
A girl named Latrina
A boy named Estrus (yes, as in when the female of any given species gets all hot and bothered).
Oh, and Female (Fe-mah-lee). Guess they never got around to filling a name on the birth certificate.
All should be shot….

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Jenijen July 31, 2011 at 2:37 am

I got a couple for you to look up: “Haven Battles” (no really) and “Gaye Males” (really no really)

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Human Ultratard August 4, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Crikey, some _no, all_ of these names just fucking suck.
My contributions: Tulligan, named after his father’s water softening company; Denim and Calico, named after textiles; D’Aunte, RonReaco, Kayebreigh, and Nosila _Alison spelt backwards. Obviously the parents are just naming the baby with no regard to how embarrassing they will be when they have to give a name that sounds like something some nauseating widow would name their pet poodle.

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Anonymous August 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Another dumb one is Bentley (like the car).

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Elizabeth August 10, 2011 at 3:34 am

I know someone named LaBriska. She can’t even come up with a cool nickname to mask that monstrosity.

I know an expectant mother considering naming her son Knox or Kannon. I may share this link on Facebook, with hope that she’ll glance at it and think twice!

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Me August 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm

I used to be a substitute teacher in the late 1990s and I remember once in a while children would approach me before the bell rang and would tell me that their name on the school’s electronic-generated attendance list was not the name they went by. They would point out their name on the sheet and say something like, “It says such-in-such, but everybody calls me such-in-such. When you call roll, could you call me that (nickname or middle name) or else
the class will laugh?” I’d be sure and call them by the name they went by, not to embarrass them.

Now, this was years ago and I’m sure things have become much worse as parents try harder to be “creative” and “original.”

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Hailey August 14, 2011 at 4:54 pm

I teach swimming lessons.. and here are some of the worst names I’ve come across:
Presley (that poor GIRL)
Briley (Presley’s brother. Yes it is a boy.)
Bergen (girl)
Dilynn (girl)
Kazi
Shyleigh
Shamitha
Brekken
Braxton
Neva
Esa
Merritt (girl)
Dorian
Lavin (girl)
Tayden
Marleigh

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Skyler August 14, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Okay I agree with guys not being named Sky or Skyler because it is a girlie name. But I don’t see anything wrong with Skyler for a girl. BTW my name is Skyler i’m a girl and I love my name! I’m not a stripper or anything; I went to college. I’m not white trash. which I have seen that Skyler sounds like a white trash name. Oh and if you wanna know a bad name.. I went to school with a boy named Kyler for a little while!!! Kyler, way worst then Skyler!!! Thanks(:

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Anonymous August 16, 2015 at 3:27 pm

I’m sure you’re a very nice person but I’m sorry for what your parents named you. I want to punch babies when I hear that name

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Laura August 16, 2011 at 9:22 pm

I have to say, I completely agree with you guys! I understand the desire for parents to name their children something special or unique. But to actually *name* them Special or Unique??? This entire website actually reminds me of a chapter I read in Freakonomics about the brothers, Winner and Loser Lane. To address you theory that people live up to their names, this story defies all logic, as these brothers live up to the exact opposite of their names. The chapter does go into some of the history behind crazy names (mostly within the African American context). Of course the authors are not as straightforward in their assessment of silly names as you guys are. Thanks for the chuckle!

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That's it. August 18, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Just heard of a kid named Aracely. I wish i was kidding.

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Jane Doe August 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm

I have seen a few names that are utterly horrible…
Jesus American III (I guess dad was Jesus American Jr?)
Lil’Ricky Momo (what happens when he becomes Big Lil’Ricky?)
La-a (Ladasha)

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mememe August 20, 2011 at 8:59 am

I lived in KY for a short while and would cringe when I opened up the Daily Hillbilly Times and saw the newest members to the welfare roles. Some I can remember are Accember, Broklynn Mackynzie, Taryn Mkycha, and of course all of the ‘place’ names (like these backwater pillbillys would ever be able to locate any of these on a map) Karson (can’t even spell the city correctly), Dakota, Alaska, India and Montana. I personally think KY and WV should be bombed out of existence so that the inbreeding trailer trash can be exterminated.

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robin August 25, 2011 at 2:44 am

i went to school with two sisters with names I never heard of; Jenewade (Jen A Wade) and Jelssica (messed up Jessica version, prounounced GEL-ssica). Mememe I totally agree about “place names” I knew a Dallas and Jursee (Jersey)….ugh!!

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Glamazon August 27, 2011 at 8:21 am

This is the BEST site ever! I loathe and despise the mothertruckers who insist on naming their brats things like “Revelation” .Poor “Revelation” is a girl, her siblings were also cursed with monikers like Destiny, Chastity, and the like. I suppose her parents were planning on skipping the college savings fund and buying their own pole. And don’t get me started on the bile-inducing “Neveah”. Backwards=opposite meaning, People!

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Glamazon August 27, 2011 at 8:34 am

I have also been privy to names like:
*Ima Skank – a real 70+ year old woman- can you imagine her gloating over her family reunion?”Oh we had a bunch of Skanks here today”!
*Harmony Battles -conflicted girl I went to school with.
Other amazingly heinous names: Sha- theyd (spelled “Shithead”), siblings Jumbo & Mo Jumbo, and Mo’Unique.

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Carrie August 30, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I know people who named their kids Arwen (girl), Ranger (boy) and Jayden (boy). The sad thing is, when they got to Jayden my first thought was “Thank God! A fairly normal name!” LMAO!
However, I know a little girl named Courtlyn and I love her name. Especially since I know way too many Caitlins. But I prefer classic names like Chloe, Emma and Alice. I understand wanting to be different but can’t they just save it for the middle name?

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baseballman August 31, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I have friend who named their kids Tamika, Tiana (which she spelled that way the first time she posted it on facebook then changed it to Teana)… both stupid if you ask me… Also Jaykob and Ryley… Do you need that many Y’s in one family? Really??

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baseballman August 31, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Oh also forgot… Tamika and Teana girl also named another kid Bently… IT’S NOT A CAR MORON!!!

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Sophie September 3, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Hi there! I know a lady who has a daughter named Aryna (pronounced arena, as in rodeo arena). I thought this name was absolutely atrocious, and felt sorry for the little girl. The same lady recently had another daughter, and this time she named the poor thing “Shyne Magnolya”, pronounced “shine magnolia”. Bless her heart, poor thing.

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Katie September 5, 2011 at 4:31 am

Oh geez. I was on a site, and there were new born twins named Brandon and Braxton. Parents were Crystal and Brandon.
There was also a GIRL called Avalon and another girl called Dalyss.
I think I’ll hit ‘submit’ before I faint…

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Fed UP!!! September 12, 2011 at 5:50 am

Tinsley Grayson and STERLING! For girl names…UGH

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Henny Penny September 12, 2011 at 7:11 am

@PC I know a few asian Evon’s too! And some Ivone’s even. LOL
I know an asian (hong kong, yep they have the funniest names) travel agent whose first name is Colon (like the intestine)! No joke. Another co worker called Jango (Jang- Go). Another model in asia called Wincy (like Incy Wincy spider).

What really gives me the shits are those people who run out of inspiration and try to make a normal name unique by giving it a weird spelling. (gaaah) Like:

Jayden – Jaedern
Alicia- Alysha
Sidney- Cydney

This site cracks me up!

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TBULL September 17, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I’m not kidding you……
My friend was having his first kid and the girl next door to his wife couldn’t think of a name but she heard a word that she thought sounded pretty.
She wanted to name her daughter…….wait for it……….
Placenta.

YOU ARE WELCOME!

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Human Ultratard September 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Just heard another stinking, rotten dead shad of a name; this time its a lad that turns up at our local fish and chip shop from time to time: Chezzaray. It just makes me think of a fucking dentist’s drill with those “z”s. At least his parents didn’t adopt that ridiculous practice of ending names in _eigh; that just makes them look like even more of a convoluted mess than they already are _the icing on the shitcake, if you like. Also, these parents just seem to be the epitome of self indulgence (sorry for the lack of hyperlink) _http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/dominic-lawson/dominic-lawson-of-course-a-deaf-couple-want-a-deaf-child-794001.html_ and the father isn’t exactly blessed with a good choice of name, either.

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Sam September 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Ridge and Kanyon. In the same family. I assume Ridge is a boy, but I have no idea about Kanyon. Let’s hope another boy. Also, Essential. No kidding. Essential.

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jenna October 1, 2011 at 11:22 pm

i have come across the name ‘jezabel’ i was under the impression this means whore?

also a little butchery for fun and because deacon isnt bad enough little ‘deakyn’ has entered the world.

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Maureen October 2, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I’m also an elementary teacher. We currently have:

Lord Destiny
Umajesty
July Twenty Two (it’s her birthday!)

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Lemonjello Redenbacher October 3, 2011 at 6:34 am

July Twenty Two may the – no IS – the worst name I have ever heard. Ever.

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Doctor K October 4, 2011 at 11:36 am

Three names that never fail to make me howl:

* Heidi Yum-Yum Gluck (Brooklyn)
(WTF? Is this a brand of Swiss pickles?)

* Pafia Pifia Pefia Pofia Pufia da Costa (Brazil)
(The hell with Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers. We got ourselves a new tongue-twister!)

* John Hodge Opera House Centennial Gargling Oil Samuel J. Tilden Ten Brook (Olcott, N.Y)
(And for the Silly Party, candidate Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel!)

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angelbuttons77 October 6, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Arayah Hope. Seriously. Because, and I quote, they’d “lost all hope of having a baby, when they were blessed with a ray of hope.”

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Courtney October 7, 2011 at 2:16 am

I just saw someone on FB called Xyhon (said Zion).
This NEEDS to be on here.

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Joe October 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm

The Lt. Guv of South Carolina’s name is Ken Ard. Like the duck.

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Tom October 19, 2011 at 5:58 am

Our neighbour’s daughter is called Tyrrany. Spelt like that.
And what about LaTawnya (google it)

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Brionna October 22, 2011 at 5:39 pm

ive seen some really jacked up names at school
himeri
hemroid
nortis
leksi
webins
charnastin

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Lucy October 27, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Here’s some dumb one’s for you. Tanea. I guess these people don’t realize that Tanea pedis is an athlete’s foot fungus.

Here’s another I am really starting to hate: Colbee for a girl. That started the trend toward’s cheese names like Brie. I am waiting for someone to name their kid Gorgonzola, and Queso.

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Dante Hicks October 30, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Here’s a collection of truly shiteous names, each one more vomit-inducing than the last: http://www.wesclark.com/ubn/top.html (“The Utah Baby Namer.”)

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Lucky November 9, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Marie November 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm

My friend’s cousin named her kid Stiph’Anie (Stephanie) and I nearly killed myself laughing, until I realized she was SERIOUS. Then she told me the kid’s middle name: Walter.

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no name here November 16, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I worked at a day care and had a kid name Shithead. His mother honestly thought it was pronounced Shi-thead. She was wrong. She named her kid Shit head. poor kid.

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Christy (spelled properly) November 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Okay, I have seriously killed so many hours today on this site, and don’t have any more time, but wanted to contribute – hopefully something new. These are some names I’ve come across personally:

Justin Case
Strawberry Fields
Hunter Glenn
Jayma
Skye (35 yr old man)
Aubrychendora (name was changed TO this)

Love the site, you’re saying pretty much everthing I’m thinking anyway, so thanks!

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Uncle Bobby P November 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm

A friend recently named her son Shamarwyn.

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DS November 18, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Scott – This is an awful name. It’s a last name!! Idiot parents starting ripping off this last name in the 60’s. Must of been all of the freaking drugs!!! Enough of the last names already!!!

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Elizabeth November 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm

All these stupid names must be coming from teen moms who can’t keep their legs closed.

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Anonymous November 19, 2011 at 7:44 pm

i9s alize a stupid name

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 22, 2011 at 8:31 am

Yes. And you need to lay off the booze a bit, Champ.

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Kathleen November 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Any name that ends in -son is DUMB!! That should be saved for a last name, and as far as the stupidest name in the world goes, it’s a tie between Neveah and Gemini. I saw both on Teen Mom, and they’re both fucking stupid.

Where is this world headed?

Just thought of this…..apostrophes do not belong in names neither do other punctuation marks, i.e. :”{}><?<,.

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Maggie November 27, 2011 at 12:08 am

I have a question I’m quite serious about…is Eveline (pronounced – “ehv eh leen”) a stupid name? I loathe stupid names and prefer normal, classic names, but my pregnant brain honestly can’t tell if this is classically pretty and feminine, or if it screams “Future French Stripper.” I will trust your determination. Thank you kindly!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 27, 2011 at 7:34 am

IMHO, Eveline, is just fine.

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Maggie November 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Cool. Thanks so much!

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Me November 29, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Someone I know named their son Deklan, which feels like sandpaper scraping across my tongue. I can’t help but cringe every time I hear it, it just sounds so obnoxiously pompous.

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Registrar November 30, 2011 at 6:16 am

A little while back I worked for the government, in Australia. I kept a spreadsheet with the worst names I came across. These are the actual, legal names of children as they appear on court documents…

For Boys:
Cobbee
Zachson
Lukques
Trixcyn
Jaycobb
Rocki
Moreece
Bodie
Tyreek
Chayce
Jaxon
Drake
Rylee

And for the Girls:
Jessyca
Natash
Shanalee
Eilish
Mechelle
Kiara
Tamzen
Aimmy
Winsome
Nataya
Kyarra
K’trina
Monai
Leigha
Saphfire
Honnee
Aami
Coco-Cherie
Shaniqua
Latia
Anne-Gel
Aliyah
Kyema
Shyanne

Not sure about these ones:
Tayem
Rhagan
Quillan
Zekhai

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Emily February 22, 2015 at 6:52 pm

Is Winsome’s sister Losesome? Please tell me it is?!?!?!

Damn idiots are all over the world!

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bird dog November 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm

1. Reef.
and
2. Ridge.

These are 2 brothers that my son knows at school. Mom and Dad must have been huge Jacque Cousteau fans.

I think the parents have decompression sickness of the brain.

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bird dog November 30, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Oh wait. Another one. Ready? Girl’s name.

SAHALIE.

When I asked the significance (reason) of this the parents said, incrediously, “It’s a river in Oregon.”

WTF! Are people gonna call you Swahili til your dying day?

If you’re stuck on rivers then maybe it’d be better just to have named her – hmmm…

Colombia
Mississippi
Ohio
Hudson
Missouri
Rio Grande
Colorado

Somehthig like that.

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Becky December 1, 2011 at 10:21 am

Just saw a woman on Maury named Ricktoria.

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concerned citizen December 1, 2011 at 12:33 pm

I worked as a social worker in a poor city. Even though most people who lived their were collecting welfare and dissability, it became a trend to name their kids after the mom’s favorite luxury brand (Rolex, Armani, Chanel, etc) or just some made up string of syllables (“reezmadari”). I even saw the name “Female”. It’s supposed to be an urban legend that some poor immigrant family assumed their baby was named “female” by the hospital when they looked at the bracelet but I swear to god in this case it was true. What people aren’t thinking about is how these names are going to look on a resume and affect the child’s future. But maybe they just assume their kid will be on welfare and disability just like mom and dad. There’s nothing wrong with giving your child a traditional name and then using “Princess” as a nickname.

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Charles December 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

You guys grew up in Woodville Tx right? My mom went to school with you.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 3, 2011 at 10:50 am

Never been there.

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Whitney December 3, 2011 at 3:58 pm

My aunt worked in hospital records for many years and saw some doozies. Her all-time favorite: Peaches Diane.

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Whitney December 3, 2011 at 4:03 pm

TBull-HAA! Placenta. Awful. A woman who works at the lab I use for blood work told me that a young mother came in with her new baby girl and the name? Well, she heard it in the delivery room and just knew that it was the name for her beautiful girl: Uterus. Now I’m going to assume that since she didn’t recognize the term, she also didn’t know how to spell it. That HAS to be the only reason she got away with it.

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Jane Doe December 8, 2011 at 1:12 pm

At the doctor’s office this morning, I overheard a father calling his son. The boy’s name: Sonic.
Like the hedgehog.
Sigh.

Also, saw the spelling of a girl’s name today: Madysin.

Had to contribute.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 10, 2011 at 5:32 am

Sonic is a classic Stupid Kid Name. Nice one.

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Montana December 11, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Killian has to be one that I dont like

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Unwise tospeakhere December 13, 2011 at 10:44 am

Neither love nor hate you. Indifferent and dismissive is more like it. Pretty mean spirited and arbitrary but worst of all, you lack wit. Wit would make up for a lot, here. But, no, it’s bile and spleen and lazy bile and spleen at that. You don’t reference the Freakonomics guys who I recall did a statistical analysis on the impact of out-of-the-ordinary names relative to career opportunities (or the lack of them). You completely bail on the whole boy-named-sue dynamic. You don’t appear to cite anything other than your own pissy aesthetic. All due respect, people can decide to name their children whatever they like, just as they can decide to vote for whomever they like or sleep with or marry whomever they like (assuming everyone’s over 18). We may not like it, it may strike us as strange; but it’s none of our business, really. Besides, if it’s that bad, the child can change his or her name when they get older. To return to my issue, however. What you like or hate doesn’t matter to me in the least. But that you spit this vitriol without any effort to lift the discourse above what might be appreciated by slow-witted high school kids is a shame and a waste of time. What’s the matter with you! Are you high school kids?! Hire David Sedaris.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher December 13, 2011 at 10:47 am

And where in this beautiful symposium of double talk is the answer to my first question?

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Anonymous August 16, 2015 at 3:35 pm

This guy must be named Oranjello

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Meryl December 13, 2011 at 4:57 pm

My cousin is going to have a baby in March, and She and her husband is going to name their daughter Oceanna,He picked it put because he likes the ocean.. Jesus Christ! Why can’t people pick normal names these days?! -_-

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Marie December 13, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Somebody I know named their kid Aztec. Great idea, naming your kid after a civilization that tore people’s chests open and ripped out their hearts as a tribute to the gods… >_<

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katie December 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I worked in the Admissions office when I was in college and came across some crazy names…we actually started a list and were able to ‘categorize’ them (Months of the year, Days of the Week, Animals, etc). Some that I remember are:

Crystal Balla
Doe, Fawn and Buck
February, March, September
Quinnetta Quinn

When I was a kid I knew a kid named March-Rain, because he was born on the first day of March and it was raining. I’ve worked with grade school kids the past couple of years and have came across Unique, Treasure and the ever popular ‘Precious’.

Good Lord, people……….

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Hiss C Fitt December 15, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Here’s three for ya, all from the same family:
Kwade
Nyah
Mack

Stupid as hell.

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MRSR December 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE 70’S WITH LEANN BALL.
HER SISTERS WERE CRYSTAL AND TERRY.
MY MOM THOUGHT IT WAS A HOOT.
THERE WERE TRANSPLANTS TO OUR SMALL NORTHERN MINNESOTA TOWN.
WONDER WHERE THEY ARE TODAY?

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Laura January 6, 2012 at 10:08 am

Seen in the birth announcements:

Aerolyn Bentleigh. Wow.

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Jennifer January 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Thank god my parents gave me a normal name with a normal spelling!
Hm, some awful names I’ve heard are:
Shakur (yes, hes black and as in Tupac Shakur)
Cyrena (pronounced like “Serena” but spelled weird. wtf.)
Bliss (her mom was a hippie)
Galaxy ( no joke, this girl was in my class. and everyone teased her about her name)
Fakalata (….oh my..I think it was Indian?)
for my name, I’ve seen various spellings
Jenifer (OK…)
Gennifer
Jennyfer

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Jennifer January 7, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Oh more stupid names Ive heard:
MaKayla
Kaylyn
Clayton
Orion
Grayson (for a girl)
Ryan (for a girl)

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J.P. January 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I’m not making this up but someone out there named their child “Tomahawk Garnet”. Worse – it’s a girl. Even worse, there is a drawing of a tomahawk on the birth announcement and it is poised directly above the baby’s head in the photo. I couldn’t have been the only one that noticed that! Or maybe everyone else is still dumbfounded by the name.

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Pa'Shence January 17, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Assuming this is supposed to be “Patience”

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Doobie sister January 18, 2012 at 12:21 am

There was a girl in my junior year whos name was militia spelled like that and pronounced like that.

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Sensible Yorkshire Person January 25, 2012 at 7:24 am

You don’t think that some of these names could be because, dare I say it, their parents just simply cannot spell. By the way PC, Lettice, Bertram and Basil are very olde world English names. Have you never had the benefit of watching Faulty Towers? My first name is Beatrice, names after my Grandmother and Great Grandmother – as a child I was ridiculed because of my name and, from age 17, have been going by my middle name!!!

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Oz January 29, 2012 at 12:07 am

I went to high school with a girl called Sybilene. She had a younger sister called Abilene. I met her mother once too. Woman was clearly fucked in the head.

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momma January 29, 2012 at 11:40 pm

I work in a pediatric office. Mom named her kids..steadfastness, trueness, and mildness and I can’t even remember the other two names, when I do i will add them.

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Brooklyn January 31, 2012 at 7:41 pm

personally i will share my first name Nyakuic (na-ka-wee) stupid right but all my friends call me Brooklyn because i have the dumbest parents on earth that wanted to name me after my great-great-great grandmother that lived and africa in the 1800 hundreds so my name is out of date and is retarded so i got nick names to come with it like Naquif and Naqueer gotta luv middle school right and does anyone know how to make fun of the name Catherine its this chick and we have this thing and i want to some how change her name to make fun of it :)) atleast my middle names are Brooklyn Nicole so half of the people i meet think thats my real name its on my birth records so its all good

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kitteh February 3, 2012 at 4:42 pm

My friend names her son “Pzalmwelle” Idk, I guess it’s supposed to be “Samuel”. Ugliest name I’ve ever seen

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StopTheMadness February 7, 2012 at 9:36 am

I am so glad I found this site. I was afraid I’d physically attack the parent of the next stupid name I heard. This site will be therapeutic. Here are some doosies from the neighborhood:
– Witness (we call him “Suspect”)
– Parlement
– Tyko (to us he’s “Enron”)
– Hadje (“Hod-JAY” – we don’t address her)

But my least favorite has to be Vaughn. That’s not a name – it’s just some random sound.

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That's it. February 12, 2012 at 8:16 am

Someone named their kid Dovahkiin. Now, i love Skyrim too, but that’s just a step too far.

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Hallie February 12, 2012 at 11:40 am

Here’s one I came across at work: Johnmart.

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Iksnizdnorp February 15, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I just became the “great-great-auntie” of little Sika! When I looked it up online, I discovered it was a sexually-transmitted virus similar to Dengue (!) I think it was the straw that broke the dromedary’s back.
I also work with a woman who named her two daughters “Phyler” and “Zoree.” I swear, the only way I can remember their names when i see them is by thinking “file cabinet” and “flip flop.” I rest my case…

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Anonymous February 17, 2012 at 3:24 pm

i HATE the name brinlee. brinley. brynlee. brinleigh. brynnleigh. brynley.

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funfun yay February 18, 2012 at 12:25 am

My cousin knew a girl named “Phunphun Yeay” pronounced fun fun yay!

I had a previous boss with the last name Greene, and her two sons were Hunter and Forest. I hated that job.

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Greg(normal names are real February 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

i know a a girl i went to school with named zasha i mean if this is a normal name WOW!

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Miss Tified March 6, 2012 at 1:26 am

There’s a girl I know from school who took the stupid spelling thing to a whole other level. First off though, here’s a description of her to set the tone; Aged 19. 3 kids, same amount of sperm donors. Facebook profile picture – In England, in October, wearing hotpants and a bikini top with fake ugg boots, streaky fake tan, massive tattoo round her belly button reading “Numba 1 beatch”, one leg wrapped around a washing line pole with one finger in her mouth. You get the picture, now here are her children:
Kenzzee- Kenzie wasn’t ridiculous enough.
Jayton- Jaydon wasn’t ridiculous enough.
Paej- She nearly saw the light with a normal name, Paige, but it wasn’t ridiculous enough.

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Tasty Boner March 13, 2012 at 8:33 pm

When you work in the family court system, you are privy to the names deadbeat parents give their children. Most of these names came off cases where the Children’s Aid Society has opened a protection application against said deadbeats.

Off the top of my head, here are some gems.

– Empress
– Karla-Jaxon
– Jaxen
– Nubeah Divina Amor
– Aztecca Ynez
– Luscious
– Pheonyx (pronounced like it’s spelled–which is stupidly)

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daja April 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm

dude my bro wants to know if zeus is a dumb

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Dumb what? DUMB WHAT?!?!? Don’t leave me hanging like that, Daja!

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Mandy April 2, 2012 at 9:08 am

Sapphire
Paris

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Gena April 2, 2012 at 7:24 pm

My sister-in-law has a boyfriend who’s brother and his wife are expecting their first child. They don’t know the gender but the top names are Emerson for a girl (like the appliance brand) and Zed for a boy (like the head of MIB).
Also, I used to be a high school teacher, we had 2 students in the school named Pepsi, one girl who’s name was Duchess, she had a sister Queeny, and brother Prince, a Shelby Ford, and even a Stormie (I had a cat by that name as a child, it was hard not to laugh when I had a student by the same name).

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Andrea April 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

You can add Sckyy to this list. (pronounced like sky). girl on babycenter is currently defending her choice after complaining that nobody likes it. Well, DUH!

I know an Everly and a Fox – brother and sister. Seriously?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Sckyy is the worst name I’ve ever seen – you can tell her that. I mean that too – no shit. Worst ever.

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Anonymous March 14, 2016 at 6:11 am

I named my daughter this lol…yep and it was the best decision ever…

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George April 5, 2012 at 8:19 pm

lol! I love this.
Someone told me once that some black woman named her kid Aryan. Ouch!

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Mel April 6, 2012 at 10:01 am

Just found your site while looking up about how father’s misspell thier kids names.

Try this one: My son’s name is “Aidan” the basic REAL spelling of the Irish name. Obviously I get the “Aiden” which drives me up a wall because American’s spell it the way it’s pronounced.

But even better is how my exhusband spells it-IN COURT DOCUMENTS! When he filed for divorce he spelled it “Aidian” (Aid-ien…really?) most recently he spelled it “Aden”.

I wish American’s would just stick to the CORRECT spelling of names!

(Side note: before my sister found out she was having a boy she planned to name a girl “Ryanna” prounounced “Rhianna”)

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Anonymous April 8, 2012 at 9:57 am

My friends granddaughter is called Nauoo

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Steven April 8, 2012 at 6:01 pm

My name is Steven, with a V. It has a rich history and was also fairly uncommon for the span of time in which I was born. No one does a doubletake when they read my license, and I love that.

You, sir, are quite possibly my favorite person on the internet. Keep doing what you do. Those that bitch probably have a name like Dreama. Holden. Roosevelt. Hero.

I’ll submit all the dumbass spellings I find; no shortage of 15-year-olds with designer named babies around here.

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Steven April 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Oh yeah. Gunner. Quaid. Maddox. Teagarden. Sunshine. Orange. Anders.

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NimrodsGalore April 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I got a bunch for you:

I personally know all these people. I’m not making this shit up.

Brithgee
Koda
Raegynn
Jadyn Anina
Kaleigha
Lovely
Heaven
Janieve
Kimberson
Kimberwin
Anro

I could go on and on but I’m doing more in a different post before everyone else figures me out…hahahaha

Purposely misspelled regular names that grate on my nerves:
Angelena
Keren
Tristen
Tristin

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Casin April 28, 2012 at 7:46 pm

a friend’s coworker recently named their child “Casin,” pronounced like Jason. Worst name I’ve heard in a while. Whatever happened to names like Michael or even Elliot? this shit makes me sick. What a stupid name. It makes my blood boil.

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Katherine May 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I know a girl who named her daughter Kainsley. Seriously? I see some ridiculousness on facebook nowadays. I’ve seen way too many Ava’s which is annoying but it’s a nice name, but I saw an Avah recently. And I have had ENOUGH of the silly tu-tus & other slutty outfits on babies. Oh and huge headbands with flowers bigger than a babies head. HEY SILLY GIRLS….THOSE HEADBANDS ARE NOT GOOD FOR THE SKULL & BRAIN DEVELOPMENT. Also, why would you cruelly put something like that on a helpless child when they are unable to remove it.

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JT May 15, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I Teach—-students named—Phenyx, Destiyonna, Julyann, Ayianna, Shaianna, Ania, Iysiah, Myriah, Wallashia, Zaire, Serena, Florish, Karizma, Papa, and one more……Daquarise…..no shit—I thought Chinese folks got kids names by throwing pots and pans against the wall, BUT there’s NO beatin the ghetto!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher May 15, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I’ve got to tell you – my favorite thing about owning and running this site is teachers like you telling me how ridiculous some of the names in their class are. It gives me hope that my normally kid is in good hands. :)

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George May 17, 2012 at 2:06 am

A girl I know just named her daughter Kessie Leeeanna. Yes, 3 e’s. It’s just terrible.

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Steven May 19, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I recently got friended by someone I knew in grade school, she was still stuck in the same small town we all desperately were trying to escape from 8th grade on. Do the math, I graduated high school in 1994. This woman was in my same grade. She now has a 21 yr old daughter named “Dejah”, and a granddaughter named…..wait for it….”Krymzyn.” I love seeing her facebook posts about Krymzyn doing something cute. i can’t help but think it sounds like “crime scene.”

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HB May 28, 2012 at 1:21 am

When I was pregnant last year, there was a girl in my moms group who wanted to name her daughter Calamity. I’m not even sure she didn’t end up naming her Calamity, but she definitely got a lot of shit for it!

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kandle ramos June 3, 2012 at 12:57 am

HEY GESS WHAT MY NAME IS KANDLE AND IM PROUD!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 29, 2012 at 6:17 am

HEY GESS WHAT YOU’RE A MORON!

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Sarah D. June 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I know a girl who named her daughter Beatrix Odette. Beatrice is bad enough but Bea-TRIX? I can hear the jokes about turning tricks already. And I have nothing to say about the middle name… I give up on humanity.
As for people I went to school with: Shaneesha and Porscha are the names that stick out the most. Oh, and Zera, another spin on Sarah.

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Jane June 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm

While I agree with you on most of these names, your (repetitive) argument saying that names which are normal in other counties are stupid in America is moronic. NONE of the top ten girls names are American names – all are originally from Europe. For the male names the only American one is Jayden, which is a fucking stupid name. The other names are “normal”, just overused.

Americans are the ones that name their kids names like Jayden, Bexley, Chord, etc… Most of which someone pulled out of someone’s ass at some point. By all means, make fun of those names, but “normal” yet uncommon names, like Anneliese, leave alone. You may not like them, but they are legitimate names that have been used for centuries all over the world.

Unlike names like Crue. WTF

Top ten names in America from: http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 29, 2012 at 6:13 am

“but “normal” yet uncommon names, like Anneliese, leave alone” – No. Fuck off. It’s a shit name.

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ghghjhd June 14, 2012 at 10:06 pm

i went to school with a girl whos name is Honey and

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Katherine June 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

buahaha please tell me you’re writing a book?!
Also “Porter” (pottie), “Dallas James”

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Cabron James June 25, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Three fu_kn’ simple rules..

1- Don’t use a last name for a first name
2- Stay away from anything that ends in ‘a[d]en’
3- Think of how you got your ass kicked in h.s. for being a d1ckwad…don’t condemn your kid to the same fate because of the name.

That’s all.

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Randolph Thomas July 10, 2012 at 11:12 pm

I have one for you…Shitasia. No, I’m not kidding. Thank God the poor dear was in the honors program…at least she’s a smart kid, even if her parents were stupid.

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Plain old Dianne July 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

People I’ve actually met with stupid names:

Harold Sac (goes by Harry)
Crystal Clear Waters and her brother Blue Waters
Madison Hair (goes by Maddy)
Randy Dyck

Not that I like MY name, I loathe it actually! In the sixties, every second girl child was named Diane.

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AchBee July 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm

How about Phuqwad? Buttphuq? Shittazz? Dumbshiqua?

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FML July 15, 2012 at 1:02 am

My step mom is naming the baby WILSON ASTON! WTF?

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reader July 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

Top this..Dreaquinettaie Laffette Smith.

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Jennifer July 22, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Marli, Marly, Marley its became a poplular name and its god awful. I have a friend who named her kid Marley Jane…really. Smoke a little. Skyler I love, Skylie, Skylin whatever.

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Ziz July 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

A friend of mine had twin boys. They names them Loyal Astor and Cascadian Donald. TERRIBLE NAMES.

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Cory July 26, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I graduated with a guy named Blackie. He was white. I’m not even making this up. I was told he was named after his grandfather but come on! Imagine the looks you’d get calling out for him in a crowded area. I guess his dad wanted to name him Trucker.

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Cory July 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I also dated a girl named Aurelia. That was an interesting one….

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Anonymous July 29, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Yeah Dakota, truly awful name, considering it’s a boy’s name seen more and more girls called that.
Even saw somewhere someone wanted to name their kid after a song about a break up! Think it was November Rain….. seriously?

Fancy that as the meaning of your name, not to mention said song is also a name of well known porn star……think people THINK! Your kid has to live with that name for the rest of their lives……. !

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Anonymous August 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Have to say looked through the list and agreed with most of them, Dakota? Why? People keep using that name for girls when it’s a boys name! It’s a stupid name for a child, doesn’t even have a real meaning, not to mention I bet the parents or parent have never even been to the place!

One to add to the list:

November Rain I mean WTF who wants to be called after a song about a break up? Nice reminder for the child! Not to mention the fact it’s a name used by a not very attractive porn star!

Just NO! Parents need to really think about these things, totally unfair on the kids.

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Kathleen! August 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

This site is fucking fabulous. LOVE IT. I’ve listed these names in other threads, but I really think you should consider adding these atrocious names:

-Meconium (My friend had a patient whose baby brother was named this. If you don’t know what this term refers to, please look it up. It’s cruel to name a kid this. Just cruel.)
-Schwanette (My student worked with a student nurse with this name. He told me he had to hold back from laughing. 100% ghetto name.)
-Javen (My cousin named her son this. Again, another ghetto name. I’m not from the ghetto nor is anybody in my family, but she sure fucking acts like it naming her child this. It shames me that I’m related to such a low-class person.)
-Damia (When my cousin was expecting her first child, she wanted to name the baby Damia if it was a girl. She had a boy and named him Jude. Jude is a respectable name. Naming your child Damia is just asking for an ass-kicking on the playground.)
-Mattiniah (When I was a churchgoer, my pastor and his wife named their kid this. Most biblical names annoy the shit out me. Not all biblical names are completely awful, but this one really sucks dick.)

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Kathleen! August 4, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Didn’t proofread. I didn’t have a nursing student. My DAD had a nursing student named Schwanette. The name still sucks horribly though.

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Steve August 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I used to work with a Kwanza; she knew her name was the epitome of ridiculousness and that she would NEVER make it in this profession with such an idiotic name, so she unofficially changed it. She said the SECOND she applied for a job as Mary she was interviewed and hired. Years of resumes and applications and no one wanted to hire a Kwanza. Take a lesson here folks, you can be a doctor of physics but if you’re walk around calling yourself “peenerpoon” or some equally retarded name, no one is interested in working with or hiring you. Of course in this wonderful PC world we live in soon people with names like “fucknutz” and “spunkrub” will have minority protection status and we will be FORCED to give them jobs regardless of their talents or education

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Zach August 27, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Okay two of the worst that I have heard are Tiheguhr, (pronouned Tiger) and Seven, I swear to God, that poor girls name was SEVEN, she’s 8 years old now, but her name will be Seven forever.

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Leah September 5, 2012 at 1:32 am

Do you take suggestions? I have a suggestion for a horrid name: Sally.

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max September 7, 2012 at 12:32 am

IBEJesus. I’m not kidding about that one. It is a real live person’s name. Others that I’ve heard; Knowshon, Flavion, Braxton, Brocklee, Bandit, Placentia, A’Miracle, Princella LaPrecious. There are just too many.

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Ashlea, yes that's Ashley with an A. September 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I was lucky enough to get the MOST common girls name EVER, except that my parents decided to spell it uniquely, you know, like EVERY other parent between 1985 and 1990? Ashlee, Ashlie, Ashli, Ashleigh… The list goes on. Unfortunately for me, everyone, and I mean f*ing everyone, pronounces my name Alicia. Really? It’s one f*ing letter people. I ALMOST can get the one or 2 that ask is it Ashley or Ash-Leah? Nobody asks is it Chelsea or Chelseah though now do they? Anyway. Just had to rant a little. Thanks so much Mom.

Working in a dispatch office I get some real doozies. Jaxson(pronounced Jackson, not jacks son as one would assume), Lynkin (isn’t that a company), Konstynse (it’s Constance you dumb ass and even that is a shit name), Elvena, Jiyon (I think it’s John)… some winners for sure.

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Ashlea, yes that's Ashley with an A. September 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Also, strangely enough, I have heard of LemonJello and OrangeJello as names as well. Are those your real names or Crazy-ass names you heard somewhere as well?

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Mel O. Creme September 13, 2012 at 10:52 am

Great site. I, too, found it by Googling “Stupid fucking names people give their kids”. That’s how everyone else found it, right?

My wife is a teacher, and every year when she gets a new class we go through the names and laugh our asses off. One year she had Talon (boy), Talen (girl) and Taylon(girl) in the same class. Of course, others have pointed out the Sky/Skyler/Skylor/Scheyler, etc. phenomenon, but this year she has a “Scaler”. I kid you not. Apparently the parents are rock climbers. Go smoke some more dope, you freaks.

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Jay September 20, 2012 at 2:28 pm

In my hometown paper, they used to run a contest called Yes Sir, That’s My Baby, where they’d post a picture of the kid, its name, and a number so you could vote for your favorite. One poor little boy was named — get this —

N’Famy D’rito.

(After sounding that shit out, I determined it was pronounced Infamy Dorito.)

Know people who named their kid Swayze. Like Patrick.

I *hate* these cutesy, weirdly spelled names that parents think are just adorable and so unique, or that sound erudite or high class. Sorry, but your daughters Addyson, MacKayla, McKenzie, Kyleigh and Raylee? Are going to be fucking strippers, not a supreme court justice, okay? Fuck! Probably not having kids myself, but if I did, I’d name my son John. Fucking JOHN. And because of that, he’d probably have the most unique name in his damned class.

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Jean September 28, 2012 at 5:04 am

Were I once worked a long time back, their would be a lot of paper work with extreme strange names like for example: Chicken and Mad Max

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Grace October 5, 2012 at 1:18 am

This website is great! It is nice to rant with other people who feel the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I went to college with this terrible broad, Lynsey. Her husband was in the Olympics. They named their first kid “Hadley Angel.” It is too bad because that child is cute. His name is Chad, hers is Lynsey… chad+lynsey=Hadley… Yeah, that idea was all hers!! How creative! NOTTTT!! Many people pretend to be her friend. If she had a real friend, they would have bitch slapped her ass. Also, my friend thought about naming her kid Gage/ Ringo/ Zane… They don’t listen to my advice! Good grief! Aren’t those alllll nightmare names?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher October 5, 2012 at 6:52 am

Hadley Angel is a ridiculous name indeed – but not at all surprising, coming from someone who allowed her wedding to be featured on a Style Network reality show. ;)

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Grace October 5, 2012 at 1:21 am

All these y’s in the names fucking suck!!!!!

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kristen October 8, 2012 at 3:46 pm

my sister named her kid Tag. Not short for anything. literally. on his birth certificate. his name is T-A-G!!!!!!!

oh and another …. LYRIC!

I think it started with celebrities (Apple, etc etc) and then everyone followed like sheep by giving their kids stupid, unpronouncable titles

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ann October 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

My brother-in-law just named his baby boy Race. Maybe i’m overreacting but I believe this name will be a hinderance to this child.

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Anonimoso October 19, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Here is a theoretical name for a kid of a black rocket scientist with the last name Brown:

Warner Van Brown

The original is of course Werner von Braun. Also, if you are usually white with the last name Jackson (think: Phil Jackson the basketball coach), do not name your kid Michael Jackson. Not unless you want your kid to figure out how to change race. Note that “Warner” and “Van” are first names on black guys found in nature.

What would get hispanic parents to name a kid _Vladimir_? There is a ball player named Vladimir Guerrereo. I bet his middle name is not Putin… but can’t guarantee against Lenin. Culture mismatch names are normally horrible.

A gross theoretical name that is a culture mismatch would be a Jermaine Johanssen who is a blond hair blue eye Dane. Add in an accent like the flick “Fargo” for fun. (“Why did you name me after Jermaine Jackson?”)

You just have to love a name like “Mitt” who names his kid “Tagg”. You get a baseball narrative going. You need a Mitt, to Tagg a Jackie Robinson to avoid giving the other team a Homer to let Cub become the Champion.

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Tommy Udo October 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Dad’s first name is Royce. Had a baby boy and decided to stick with the up-scale car reference by naming him Pierce. Stupid.

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Brian October 29, 2012 at 2:20 am

My son is named Axstyn. Why don’t you stop playing WOW ,leave your mother’s basement, and join those of us in society that have actually gotten laid (and wacking off to pictures of your cousin in a swim suit is not the same as getting laid.)

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Lemonjello Redenbacher October 29, 2012 at 6:43 am

Married with kids, own a home, don’t know what WOW is. Why don’t YOU join the rest of us in society who don’t fuck up our kids with shitty names.

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Tim November 6, 2012 at 4:52 pm

A friend of mine went to a parent-teacher conference where the teacher had just gotten reamed for mispronouncing a girl’s name…spelled La-a. The mother was offended that it had been pronounced Laa, aa instead of Ladasha. I thought this was total bullshit until I told one of my daughters and she had a friend in high school with the same unfortunate name and the same unfortunate spelling. At 16, the girl was still, justifiably, pissed off at her parents for imposing an atrocity like that on her and went by her middle name, which was Cynthia (Cindy).

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Zachary November 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

Jesus Christ, you think these names are bad?
I once met a 4 year old girl named TickTock.
How about being named Braydeen, or Gagalicious?
Why can’t people just name their kids Phillip, Jill, Thomas or John, or Matthew?
I wish i could change my name, because it is not fun being named Zachary, man.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 14, 2012 at 8:07 am

TickTock is fantastic.

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Anonymous March 11, 2016 at 4:37 pm

Zachary is a really nice name, not too common but not bonkers either. Well it is in the UK anyway….
And at least your parents knew how to spell it :-)

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Whoa November 15, 2012 at 12:45 am

I know some people that named their kids after alcohol. Vodika and Henesy….smh…

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Ann November 20, 2012 at 3:25 am

Ok here you go…most annoying and ridiculous names I’ve heard.

Hunter
Drake
Remington
Ruger
Magnum
Briar
River
Ridge
Lyric
Piper (girls)
Symphony
Paizlee

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Echo December 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Lemon jello, is that your real name? Add Zebulon, TP, and of course, Yzzabellah. Also, here’s a name I hate. Get ready, it’s horrible. Qwentinn. Really. Ruined a good name with creative spelling. Also, I LOVE your site. Please reply.

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Jeff December 7, 2012 at 12:07 am

There is a teacher at a school near me who has named his little girl after the Pittsburgh Penguins’ star Crosby. Theres so many rules being broken here. Last name becoming a first name. Taking the name of your favorite(male) hockey player for a girl… I could go on and on.

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A Prayer for Eoin Me'nee December 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I know someone that named his daughter Oswyn

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A Prayer for Eoin Me'nee December 8, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I took my daughter to the doctor today. There was a little girl there named Isis – pronounced eye-sis. What a stupid name. Sounds like a disease.

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Fairy December 10, 2012 at 10:39 pm

There’s a kid at my old school called Cinderella. And I overheard a little boy when asked his name say Micheal, M-Y-C-H…

It seems like it’s bogon-central in Canberra nowadays.

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Fairy December 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I forgot to mention Cinderellas creepily common, look up baby names, cinderella, check all the yahoo answers -.-. And there’s a voice actor with the name Tawny Sunshine Glover.

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M&Ms December 16, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Fantastic site! My bro and sis-in-law are having a baby in a few months, and I worry that they will give him a stupid name. (They already know it’s a boy.) They are very influenced by the friends, some of whom have given their kids stupid names:

Noa: I don’t care if there’s no “h” – it still sounds like “Noah” when you say it.

Arlo: sounds like something you’d name a puppy.

Haddie: Did somebody put two syllables together and think it would be a good name? Geez.

If my nephew’s name ends up being on this site, I might have to christen him with something else myself!

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Shenanigans December 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

I’m pregnant and have been up all night looking at names and came across your ridiculously amazing wonderful creation of a website. I thought that I was the only woman on earth that still liked classic baby names and would happy slap a mom that names here kids somthing stupid any day of the week…..so this justifies everything that I believe in!

Here’s my two cents:

I know a kid named Kaisie (Casey)
Went to school with a guy names Dayton Raper…I shit you not.
Seen the name Hudsyn (a girl)

Have to give you mad props for your description of the name Olive…pimento coming out of her ass and amniotic fluid made from K1!! Made my night!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2013 at 7:33 am

Congrats and good luck. Don’t give him or her any of these shit names, please!

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Sandy December 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm

here are some real names from an arrest warrant record list

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Sandy December 27, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I know a teenage girl named Morgynn. Fo real.

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Alice January 1, 2013 at 11:19 pm

This is my new favorite site. I’m a teacher and this drives me crazy. I spend the last few days of summer break thinking about the stupid parents I’ll have to deal with. My least favorite name this year – Kazdyn. And it turns out he deserved a stupid name…. Wonder if he’d been a egotistical schmoozer if he’d had a different name…

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Alice January 1, 2013 at 11:53 pm

Oh and my husband worked with a guy in college who named his son Atilla Wolfe.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2013 at 7:28 am

You know – women get a lot of shit for the bad naming, but guys are the fucking worst. First of all, if you are a guy and you tell everyone you WANT a boy – fuck you. What kind of archaic bullshit is that? You want a healthy kid who fucking lives and loves you. That’s it. Fuck your boy envy.

Secondly, if and when you DO have a boy – he’s not some fucking world conquering testosterone machine to be named Atilla, Rock or Diesel. He’s a fucking little kid. Give him a break.

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Arianne January 2, 2013 at 11:12 am

Worst real name i’ve ever heard: LUCAN. I just call him the werewolf baby.

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Arianne January 2, 2013 at 11:16 am

I just remembered! My friend wants to name her daughter Caterica (Catherine + Erica) pronounced Kattereeka

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MacBritneigh Yikes! January 7, 2013 at 10:42 pm

In the ’80s, I was perplexed when people started naming their daughters “Brittany.” Some of my ancestors were Norman English; should I consider naming a future daughter “Normandy?” In the ’90s, I first heard “MacKenzie” as a first name, and highly doubted her parents were of Scottish ancestry. Again, I was puzzled: why was “MacKenzie” considered appropriate as a first name, but not MacBeth (people could call her Beth)?

Eventually, misspelling became popular: Brittany became “Britney” and MacKenzie became “Makenzie.” Younger sisters joined the family: MaKenna, Mikayla, and Katelyn. Trendy is bad enough, but trendy and misspelled is excruciating. Hey! Trendeigh could be a cute name!

In the ’80s, ’90s, and ’00s, badly-named brothers were also being born, including Cody, Tyler, Aiden (WTF?), and Jack (not as a nickname for John, but as a legal name). Hello, parents? Someday your sons will grow up not only to graduate from preschool, but also to have their voices change and (gasp) eventually be men! If a future mayor, plumber, healthcare provider, electrician, accountant, auto mechanic, or attorney introduced himself to you as “Cody” or “Aiden,” would you take him seriously? The same goes for girls: if Sarah Palin’s first name had been Kaylee, think how much worse she would have been!

Generally speaking, I think parents should give their children “normal” first names and “unusual” middle names, but both names should be spelled normally. My father’s name is a perfect example of this, but I don’t want to violate his privacy. Unfortunately, my own first and middle names are both rather excruciating: I was named after two people, and the names really don’t go together very well. . .though I’ve certainly heard worse!

In the 1990s, one of my relatives (she, her husband, and their firstborn, a son, have normal names) named her daughter Kyle, a name I don’t like even for boys. Don’t name your daughter anything that rhymes with bile or vile. More recently, I knew someone who named her daughter Elliott (a name I actually like for boys) but calls her “Elle,” like the French women’s magazine. Her mother probably wants her to grow up to be a successful career woman, but based on her name, young E. may think her parents wanted a boy or a future bimbo. . .

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Eli January 11, 2013 at 11:41 pm

After the huge blizzard in 2011, a girl was actually named “Snowpocolypse”. I kid you not.

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Eli January 12, 2013 at 2:01 pm

I know a girl named Tzippi. I’m dead serious.

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Eli January 12, 2013 at 2:04 pm

What about Bates? If he ever gets a servant, he’ll be “Master Bates”. Really.

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A Prayer for Eoin Me'nee January 18, 2013 at 11:48 pm

I know someone that named their daughter Ilaria. Sounds like a skin disorder.

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An Ng January 25, 2013 at 10:22 am

Yesterday in the nursery, my students and I started talking names, of course, as brand new babies were there and we were looking at their crib cards. Poor Cindy Flores-Gonzales! Again, Cindy isn’t a bad name at all but talk about coming across the border. Many Anglo first names with very Hispanic surnames so their kids will fit in better with the Anglos. Um, nope. Kevin Hernandez, is another.
Previously, a set of twins, Peyton and Eli, and altho good names, will they be football all stars? And girls named Peyton Payton Paytin Paiton, all after our Indy Colts previous 1/4back!

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An Ng January 25, 2013 at 11:15 am

Here’s some more…
Nos Moe King
Christa Chanda Lear
Lear Jett
Clitoria
Meconia (you may need to look this up)
Precious Hart
Kwan and twin sis Kwannteekwaa (sp?)
Veleeta (after the cheese)
Waneta

And, Lemonjello and Orangejello, tell us about your names? Do you thank your mom? I believe I may have worked at the hospital where you were born.

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Marie January 25, 2013 at 11:29 pm

Funniest name I heard. Here’s the story: A mother was at in line to check out at a store, with her young daughter. The girl was acting up and the mother said “Spatula! I have ONE word for you! Be! Have!” LOL! True story.

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Isabel February 7, 2013 at 12:37 am

JED.
Seriously.
Please add this to the list.

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WritetheWrong March 4, 2013 at 4:53 pm

I know someone who named their child Ponder. Now, we can “ponder” why’d they do something so stupid.

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Angela March 6, 2013 at 6:13 pm

I worked for DSS and went to high school in a little hick town. I think I’ve seen them all!
Dusty Blue Ford
Passion Knight (first and last)
Formica Dinette
Berkley Leigh
Breelyn Ruth
Creek McCall (first and middle)
Braylyn
Bryson
Neely Mae (really wtf?)
Hadley Nora-Lyn
Myla Jade
Karsen
Daxton Albert
Jaleigh
Kallie
Macy Snow
Brantley Wayne
Skylar Brielle
La’Kayden Sandchez (first and middle)
Kohin
Temprincess Adele
Sa’Renity
Justice Irene (are you kidding me?)

Ugh I could go on and on and on!!! Some of these are just from the recent hospital birth announcements!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 3, 2013 at 8:58 am

Congratulations! I get lists submitted to me weekly – and this one is the worst I’ve ever seen.

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Emily March 11, 2013 at 1:15 pm

I work at an elementary school, here’s some I’ve seen: Whisper, Taven, Americus (that’s a girl), VanDwayne, De’Shawn (who is white), Country, Zionzalee (also white, prounounced Zee-on-zah-lee), Kristerfer and Jakub. Ridiculous.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 3, 2013 at 8:55 am

Holy shit – Country and Taven in the same class? Sounds like a future remake of 48 Hours.

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Emily March 11, 2013 at 2:45 pm

And a couple others I forgot: Trinetty (as if Trinity wasn’t bad enough), Rylee, Bayliss, Chevroline, Scerenity, and Jaxson.

And let’s not forget my favorite celebrity names: Apple Paltrow, Bronx Mowgli Simpson-Wentz, Moon Unit Zappa, Dweezil Zappa, Zowie Bowie, and Bingham Hawn Bellamy

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Einstein March 11, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Love this we page. Finally, people speaking up about something destroying our youth. Recently, someone told me about a friend that named their daughter “Harbor”. Zane is another good one. I understand the self-absorbed, narcissistic, ignorant parents who choose this path. They treat their children not like individuals but like accessories (e.g., a purse) that they want to be cute and different. They have no idea what a terrible affect this will have on a child. Teachers will automatically assume the parents are stupid and will associate that same trait with the child. Giving your child an odd name will always be associated with people of lesser means, both mentally and financially. Regardless of the truth. Employers will discriminate with abandon against these children. Kids with crazy names are not a protected class. One day, these kids will realize how the rest of the world views these names and the families that name this way and it will affect their self esteem. It has to. Life is tough enough. Don’t make it harder on your children than it has to be.

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Einstein March 11, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Don’t get me started on all the McKenzies and any other given names that start with “Mc”. F…ing ridiculous. Almost as bad as the medieval occupation names (Tanner, Carter, Fletcher, Cooper, etc.).

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guysmyley April 10, 2013 at 12:01 pm

Well, someone I know just named their kid Zulric the Viking. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

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Anonymous April 13, 2013 at 6:15 am

A friend and her lazy drugged out boyfriend called their child Iroh Fox Pennock. How f$&@%£¥ self indulgent and stupid is that!!

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T-Rod April 13, 2013 at 6:30 am

One of my friends and her drugged out boyfriend call their baby Iroh after some idiotic cartoon character. That’s ridiculous! How self-indulgent of them.

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Julie April 26, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Stumbled upon the friend of a friend on Facebook. Her children are named…Pangea (female), Pacific (male), and Playa (female). Seriously. Those poor, poor children.

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longdong April 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm

My friend named his daughter Patience. My niece named her daughter Kingsley and her son Knox. Trying to look clever. Trying too hard I say.

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Marlee May 2, 2013 at 3:35 pm

I came across your site after hearing something on the news that was based on this: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10523288 that got me to wondering just HOW cruel and or stupid some parents could possibly be. I don’t think you’ve topped No. 16 Bus Shelter yet though. That poor child.

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Heather May 6, 2013 at 3:28 pm

According to my mother, she was originally going to name me Bobby Jo after my grandfather (Robert Joseph). Thankfully grandpa put his foot down. I’m also grateful for my father, who had the sense to name me before my mother woke up. She was going to call me Amanda. A fine enough name, but way too common.

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Courtney May 14, 2013 at 11:22 am

Oh man, I’m happy i found this site, it’s simply amazing! I don’t know any really ridiculous names, but i despise it when people have to ask if my name is spelled with a K or a C.

Whoever started putting a K at the front of names that originally started with C is a complete dumbass.

And i have vowed that when my friends starts having children, i am going to call them out on retarded kid names.

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Go Tigers! May 16, 2013 at 8:15 pm

As a teacher, here are some of my favorites.
Alizjhia (Elijah)
Kilo
Twyce
Aquanette (the hairspray)
De’Onta
Tatre’ana
Laquashay
Phezarian (a boy) Phezariah (his sister) and Phezyluh (due in a couple of months)
Pasion
And so many more….

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Go Tigers! May 16, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Charisma, Kavasia, Precious, Trapper, Briar, Fashen, and please stop naming children with -Aden endings. I have a kindergarten class that has an Aiden, Caden, Braden, Jaelynn, Hayden, and then a Brody and a Corbin for good measure. Please stop.

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Anonymous June 6, 2013 at 10:00 pm

Ever hear of poor little “talula does the hula from hawaii” ?How about “fuck censorship!”? And that’s not to mention the rediculous names coming out of Utah- Zestpoole, Grik, Gaylawn, Camera, Bimberley? NaNoe, Arloween, DavidO? Zaragrunudgeyon, T-vive, XY, K-8? Oh, and of course Clitoris.

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Andrew June 13, 2013 at 7:26 am

My sister and brother-in-law have disowned me after I objected to them naming their newborn boy Anis (pronounced Ann-niece).

They are both precious, with glass jaws – so not optimistic about how the poor kid will cope. Aussies are quick to spot bullshit and an ethnic, girly sounding name for an Aussie boy that is spelt like an unfortunate part of the human anatomy won’t exactly go unnoticed. There isn’t even a good abbreviation for it.

Some relatives have said stupid things like he (the baby) can always change it later. A rocky road ahead.

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Boney Mahoney July 11, 2013 at 7:30 am

Oh my… parents can be so cruel. Back in school, did you want a name nobody else had ever heard of? How about this zinger — Nesta — for a boy. I kid you not. Poor little guy going to suffer emotionally from that choice.

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Molly July 26, 2013 at 1:36 pm

i can’t believe someone called their child Gaywone ( gay one)…and one of the Kardashions called their child North (so it’s full name would be North West!?!)

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 1, 2013 at 7:31 am

Neither can I, Molly…neither can I.

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Anon July 29, 2013 at 7:32 am

I know a couple of girls who had kids at sixteen, and their choices for names were just so… Stupid, I feel it has to be shared here. The first is Knovah. A poor boy will have to go through his life with that name. And Issabella. Because Isabella just wouldn’t get her daughter teased enough.

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Melissa August 12, 2013 at 8:52 pm

Uniqua. Twice as stupid as Shaniqua and Unique.

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Dani August 16, 2013 at 6:44 pm

A white coworker of mine named her daughters Mishayla and Trynity, as if Trinity with an “i” wasn’t bad enough!

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Anon August 24, 2013 at 3:54 am

I work at a day care. Weirdest names I’ve heard so far: twins Jaquinta and Janaïca(pronunced like Jamaica but with an N), Cuba, Vinchenzo, Chyara(pronunced Kiara), Kayentha(kai-en-ta) and Appel. Yes Appel not Apple….
Worst thing is when you spell the kid’s name wrong or mispronounce it you get the parents complain. It’s a nightmare at times. Nowadays everyone wants their kid to have a ‘special’ name and stand out. Problem is nobody stands out if everybody has a ‘special’ name.

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Ash August 25, 2013 at 11:55 am

Chardonnay. Yep. I wasn’t aware that it was a trend to name your child after the major factor in its conception.

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Liz September 11, 2013 at 10:02 pm

Yeah, my daughter attended school with a girl called K-la. I always refer to her as “Kaydashla.” The first time I encountered this girl was when she and my daughter were competing in a spelling bee together. Little Kaydashla is now in high school, and I noticed she uses the Kaydashla joke on her Instagram page. If you were wondering, it’s pronounced like “Kayla.”

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 16, 2013 at 9:26 am

At first I thought this was the old “a-a name rumor, that I’ve seen a million times and everyone SWEARS they know someone with that name. But this – this is a gem. K-la makes the list!

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ybnormal September 18, 2013 at 11:34 am

Thanks for providing this space to vent frustration with people who curse their children with names that will haunt them for life. I have seen a lot of bad naming trends but my new least favorite giving the child initials that stand for something (make you own acronym). Nothing like having to explain for the rest of your life that your name means….

B.F.G. Blessing from God

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Big Train October 13, 2013 at 10:05 pm

Recently saw that a young woman had two girls and named them Jersey and Austynn. Jesus God almighty.

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nikki October 15, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Here’s a new one “Axl Jack” josh duhamel and Fergie… why not Asshole Jack.

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JackieV October 29, 2013 at 10:19 am

My cousin named her baby Al’xander. An aquaintance on facebook is naming her kid Baja Renae… It makes me feel so bad for their kids. They are both around age 20 if that makes a difference… *groans*

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Sambo November 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm

I work in a government office that deals with families and children and so far our best (WORST) names (and trust me, we keep our own list) are:

I-Asia
Lafien
Shaquan
Kizziera
Zorisha
Nadalie
& Jailen

However, nothing beats the time some 8 year old was acting up in the waiting room at my doctors office and her mother called that kid out by all her Christian names, I’ll never forge this woman yelling “STAR TIFFANY SIT DOWN”

Thank God I found this site, it fulfils a huge gap in my day :)

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Jenny November 7, 2013 at 11:03 pm

Everyday I am amazed at the stupid names I hear. Brooklyn is the worst! Omg! How unique. Some other I’ve heard recently, Rake, Wrigley, Branwyn, Kenniday, Racey, Ryker, Banx, Rayce, Lastyn..I could go on.

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Balls Gumbo November 13, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Lol, just googled ‘people who name their kids stupid names’ and I found this. What prompted me to do so was seeing someone on facebook who named their kids Easton and Hadley. WTF? I don’t even know what sex either of them are. Fucking gay.

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Dahli Pharthan November 18, 2013 at 12:02 am

Ahhh Nathan (as a girl) made me cry I laughed so hard… Also, Lemonjello, how could you not give shit to Juli, Gilley, and Cale??? I’ve known a Temptress, a LeBeau (luh-byu)…told me it means beautiful in French, Tucker, Randydawn (a girl) Tobia, Denver, Tustin, Lilla, D’Marius..so many more. I made some up: Aquafina, Dasani, Enward (in the friendly way), Ibuprofen, Noreponephron, Dopamine, beautious, Dannon, Chobani, Crustacean, Radisson, Sbarro…

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Crystal November 21, 2013 at 2:08 pm

I am a school photographer and here are a few if my favorites.
CliNtel. Marshan
Wood. Timpist
lil’Dajaun MyLove
Twins – Love & Favor
now these are some shitty ass names. Whi would ever want to hire these people? No boss wants to call an employee mylove. Shit no one wants these ugly names to come from their mouths. I think I will name my kid, PoorUglee ButtScratcher.

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Ana December 26, 2013 at 4:31 pm

Hey, here are some stupid names I saw.
Deja (AS IN DEJA VU OH I GET IT SO AWESOME AND COOL LOL )
Benja
Najee
Cupa
Andr (It’s apparently a girl name?)
Kyele

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Anon December 27, 2013 at 5:28 pm

Narasser, pronounced ‘Narissa’. Pretty-sounding pronounciation, dumb-as-fuck spelling.

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Icefarmer December 31, 2013 at 8:13 pm

Here’s a good one to add to your list. This is not a joke:

SHITHEAD

It’s actually pronounced shi-thee-d. I know a few guys of Indian-Pakistani descent with this name. All spelled the same way. It apparently has a cool meaning of some sort that I forget but, for anyone unfamiliar with it, speaking English, seeing the name written down they will always say “who the fuck names their kid, Shit Head?”

According to my friend, a neonatal nurse, it’s becoming more common.

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matthew makley January 1, 2014 at 8:08 pm

Hey,

Fuck you! What are your kid’s names you stupid asshole? Who made you judge and jury on what is appropriate for American’s to name their kids?

Matt

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 21, 2014 at 12:36 pm

My kid’s names are all Matt. Sadly, they are assholes just like you.

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Amelia January 20, 2014 at 1:35 am

I’m a am a ghetto schoolteacher so of couse I see a lot of shitty names. Here’s a few:

Zhawk
Stortia
Alexis(for a boy)
Titus
Lolita
Amidala
Song
Girl
Boy
Egypt
Chlorine
Cinderella

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Delia D January 20, 2014 at 1:38 am

Marzipan
Autism
Kelleigh
Delitefull
Anthaway

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Deema January 20, 2014 at 1:40 am

Mkaila
Zephyr
Ant
Shaq
Talulah
Jedediah
Lot

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John the Great January 20, 2014 at 1:45 am

Ellery
Charmondley(Chumley)
Lithuania
Jemaile
Asefre
Zwerp
Insect
Frenchie
Flossy
Mucus
Maxim

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Matt January 22, 2014 at 1:10 pm

Deacus.

It’s meant to be Succeed spelled backwards.
A failed attempt at originality by illiterate parents…

Poor kid.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 24, 2014 at 9:17 am

That’s a rich one, there.

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leaf February 13, 2014 at 7:47 am

leaf! what were they thinking?

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Molly February 14, 2014 at 10:08 am

I cruise our county’s jail bookings from time to time. I began keeping a list of the more breathtaking names I find there. For your enjoyment…
SHALONNA BARBRINA
SHAYRON ANQUARNETTE
OCTAVIA SHANELL
JACARA SHAUNTAE
KRISTINA ANNTRINTTEE
KARVODA KARSHIA
WILSHEIKA JAKERIA
OCEANA
JONTAE KIAN
TRAQUIA CIERA
KAMESHA CORVETTE
WETERIA AMANDIA
DEAUSSEY LADARIUS
EBONY LASHAWANDER
NAQUON QUONTRAZ
SANQUITA E
DAPHENE DAVENE
ANTWAN QUAMANE
LEMONDRIS DANTROY
TARIQ SHLEEM
NEQUTTA NICKA
SIERA LATRENDA
LAMONT SNOCONO
SHETERIA JOMIKA
SHAWNTAJUA QUANICE
ENNENCY MILIDANE
MARTITA SHEBRE
TOBIOUS KAJUAN
ZEKIA LECHELLE
ARBEDELLA DRUCILLA
SHEQUITTA DONTIA
JACQUEZA KIMERY
TOMIKA SHERICE
DELTRON JAKHEEN
SHAKINDRA MONIQUE
SHAKEIL DEYON
TANIESHA KIMARLY
SHANIQUE TEWANNA
SIERA LATRENDA
MECHELLE LASHAY
RASHEEN EMON
KOTOKA OMAR
LOREAL TIERA
JAQUEZ SAYON
JAMARA TRAINELLE
FERTISSUE DENISE
JAMILLA ZANEAL
DYWANE DIASEAN
CLAVONTE SHAMERE
EMMITT JAQUAN
SHOQUN OCIA
TONIETTE BRIDENA
SHOUNDA LAVETTA
SHARDAYVIA
QUANISHA LAVAISHIA
NIEOSHEIA YACONTYNISE
SECRET
KIEWANDRA SHAMAIR
OCTAVIUS SHARAURD
WESSTACIA DECHAWN
SEVILLE CHEMERE
KEYWANA ELEASE
SHARNELL SYSMONE
JAMEER VANTRAE
DEMONICIA DEVONCIA
QUATINA ELJARHA
SHAMIA ROKISHA
ZALMON SHAQUILLE
KIEWANDRA SHAMAIR
CANDID TOCCARA
SHAMIA ROKISHA
SHAKEDA RANEKA
DEVION DEJUANE BRAXTON
ZICRON LORENZEN
KEWANNA TARAMA
SAVESHA KATERICA
SARABIAN SQUILLACE
DEVARIES ALAIMO
CRYSTAL GAIL
JEMELLE NELIJAH
LALRALD TERALD
OCTAVIUS JONMEL
KWUANNA CHIFFEN
TIARA SADE
JANIEL SHAQUITA
TILANA SITARAH
BIANKA MALIKA
ANTWAN RASHAWN MAURICE SR
GENESIS DEMETRIC
PHYLISITY DEVALIER
CHAQITA DANYELL
SHAKEIH TENELL
TOI JONTU
SATERICA VERNICE
OKISE JAMAIL
QUIDIA SHANIKE
YUSEF SHAFIYA
CHASSTITY SHAWNDA SHREE
CHEZREKIST HARKEM
DEONDRIA SHONTA
ALLEGRA SHAKERIA
DEEAQUANITA MAE
SHERMANIQUE LAMONONDA
TAMEKIAUMA R ANN
EBINE TATARIAN
CHAKA LATREESH
JARMARIO DEONTREA
HOSIE
TAKESHIA LEYONSHA
SHADIJAH SHANTUAY-SHAREE
NAIM ABDOUL
QUINTERIUS MAURICE
ORTAGUS JACQUEL
TEMPRANCE MONCHA LAVETTE
JQUAN TYRESE
TUCSONIA JULNEISHA
FABOLOUS
SHAKAKLUN REMONA
INNOCENCE RENEE
SHARVANEKIA LATREASE
EUNIQUE TOMEKA
SHYLANE WARTANA
KWAME WOAZEAH
AKHNATON NATAMBU
RAHEEM RASHEMELLE
KIBAYIS TANZANIA
QUAVIA MATTEA
JAZ-MON CORVETTE
ARTANYA SINTERIA
DEMON QUMAINE
AUDRYTORI JERMAINE
YUKEYVA YASHICA
EUSHANNON MONTRELL
ZEDEKIAH ZEBULON
SHERMANIQUE LAMONONDA
XZERIA
NIROPPIE
DEQUAN QUAMARIUS
LATWAN DOMINIQUE
ANTOWARREN DOMINIQUE
SALETA KIAWANDRA
LATREYL ARSHALON
CIERA MONEY
KEWANA QUINTINA
DRESAAD MARKEIF
CURTISEE LEANTHONY
DYSHEEN AYIENNAS
JANUARIA JABRELL
ARTAVEOUS
GARNELL SCHAWONDAY
MUTASSA ASHEE
KHAJEA TEIZIYAH
JETADIETH SABTHSTINE
SHAI-LUV
JOHNNY KOOL
QUANSHAY LANIQUE
PE-LE
MARQUELLA TASHAWN
DESTINI DSHANNA
SHALONDA CAMECA
SHAWNJAY DEMEUIM
ISHAQ ASKIA
WADEEDAH LATIFALLAH
LAMARLVIN ARKEENA
Damien Omen (no joke)
SEDANE ARKEE
DYSHEEN AYIENNAS
LANDO CALRISISIAN
DAVAL NAQUAN

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Anonymous September 15, 2015 at 11:44 pm

And I assume they’re all of Irish descent?
Just kidding lol

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Jan Jankovic February 18, 2014 at 2:33 am

As an etymologist(I just call myself that, screw college) i find several names people give their children appalling.
When people lazily name their children the first name they see(idiots) or when people choose a name because it sounds unique(damn hipsters).
Hayden and names that end in -ayden mean heathen.
Tristan literally means sad.
And those crackheads who name their child Stiles.
Stiles pretty much means staircase(his peers “walk all over him”).
Then there’s that retarded white trash name Nevaeh(means “mommy can spell shit backwards”). An ‘E’ is only capable of sounding like ‘uh’ in Cyrillic script(we write using Latin script in America this isn’t Eastern Europe).

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Molly February 18, 2014 at 9:07 am

Today’s entries to the Hall of Fame List from Chatham County Sherriff 72 hr. bookings…
OMARSHERIF
RHYAN ELLISZANDERUS
XIBT XINGU
AZARLEE KASAI
TRUNIKQU LIBERIAN
NAKEEM SQUILA ANTONIO
TYWAUN RAKEEM

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Ste March 2, 2014 at 3:14 pm

What the actual fuck? Its like the parents were about to finish his name, but passed out before they could…
What has the world come to? Soon we will be hearing the names Jul- Kas- Jam- Par- and so on.

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Jacqui (that's Jacqueline shortened) March 27, 2014 at 10:16 pm

Okay, I now this post is very, very, very old, but something brought me here. Obviously, I was searching about stupid names people give their kids.

I have a few to add to the list and yes, these are all true!

I’Am (pronounced I am) and his brother Born (yes, like when his mother gave birth to him, he was born), and their sister Endless.

Then there are girls name Reflection, Rainbow Sky, and Sunshine Rainbow – no relation to each other, in fact they don’t even know each other.

That’s all I can think of for now, but I’ve known some people to give their children some awful names! LOL!

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nevaeh April 22, 2014 at 6:42 pm

I WILL HUNT U DOWN AND GUT U SLOWLY WITH A KNIFE BECAUSE MY NAMES NEVAEH. Nobody wins ~nevaeh~

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Lemonjello Redenbacher April 23, 2014 at 7:08 am

That’s not very nice. I wonder how the administrators over at the Paris school district would like it if they knew about this threat?

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Hannah May 25, 2014 at 2:47 pm

My name is pretty ordinary, for which I am enternally grateful to my parents, but I have been victim to not-so-bright people suggesting ridiculous alternate spellings. My name is spelt ‘Hannah’, but I’ve had people suggest Hanna, Haana, Hana, and my personal favourite, Hannerh. I mean, HANNERH. WHAT. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU. THINKING? Some of the best (or should that be worst?) names I’ve ever stumbled across have been:

Chanel (a Facebook friend saddled her poor daughter with this name. Then again, she was 16 when she had her, and her OWN name is Cherri. Two generations of shitty names! How delightful).
Genevaleigh
Igraine Tangerine (A girl I went to school with. ‘Igraine’ is pronounced Ee-grain. She HATED her name, and planned to change it when she turned 18. I don’t blame her.)
Phoenix (I worked at a nursery for a while, and one of the kids was named this.)
Paigeanna (What’s with dumb parents and sticking two perfectly fine first names together to make one awful name?)
Caister (In case you didn’t know, Caister is the name of a shitty little seaside town over here in the UK. Maybe the child was conceived there??)
Daikotta
Kymberlay (The name KIMBERLEY is perfectly fine, but spelling it Kymberlay makes me want to pluck your eyes out with a shoe horn).
Flame
Buzz

*facedesk*

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Hannah May 25, 2014 at 3:15 pm

Oh, and I was born in 1996, so I am proof that some parents have retained some semblance of normalcy and decency when naming their kids. My brother also has a normal name, Joshua, but he has a friend names GB. As in, just GB. GB isn’t short for anything, she really is called GB.

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Jon May 25, 2014 at 4:11 pm

A girl I went to school with, named her daughters “Al’laShae” and “Realatee” (reality) oh how I wish I was kidding.

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Bill Walker June 1, 2014 at 7:07 pm

Charismatic: pronounced “Care-is” This is what happens when being real “dumb/ stuck on huh!?” Goes wrong. Cycle has never ever made a “k” sound.

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Camry Mychelle Pomeroy July 11, 2015 at 5:52 pm

I think I’m ALSO now stuck on “huh?” after trying to decipher your two posts–but maybe I missed something.

“Cycle has never ever made a ‘k’ sound” [???—ummmm…except for that second letter “c” in the middle of the word]. And you do realize that “ch” words of Greek origin correctly make a “k” sound, right? Despite this linguistic exploration, however, “Charismatic” is still not any less of a crap name…

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Bill Walker June 1, 2014 at 7:08 pm

Xyaris: pronounced “Care-is” This is what happens when being real “dumb/ stuck on huh!?” Goes wrong. Cycle has never ever made a “k” sound.

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Sabrina June 24, 2014 at 10:04 pm

After I left my elementary school, some girls named Precious and Porcelain apparently were enrolled… I believe they had a third sister, but I can’t remember exactly what her name might have been…

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travis July 21, 2014 at 11:21 am

Help me understand? I have a nephew named kayden and one named Skylar. I found this website looking for.What makes these names stupid. Now.I believe that Hayden is extremely over used and has killed it but besides that it’s a ok name I guess. Now.I myself named my first born Sebastian Joel and my second is Sage Alexander (I had no say in the second name blame mom for that one)

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 21, 2014 at 11:51 am

As Supreme Court Justice Potter said in the famous obscenity case – “I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [“hard-core pornography”]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it…”

That’s my answer for what makes a name stupid. :)

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travis July 21, 2014 at 11:22 am

Sorry about the spelling I hit submit before proof reading. *smacks forhead*

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travis July 21, 2014 at 12:01 pm

I get it. I absolutely hate the name Barbara. It’s a normal name but I think it’s stupid. But after reading some of these names I’m ok with kayden except the over use and horrible spelling and the fact that Gay-den is sure to be a part of his future

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 21, 2014 at 12:10 pm

Barbara sucks too – I agree. Know what one gets me the most? Jillian. No idea why, but it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

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travis July 21, 2014 at 12:18 pm

Dear God and u know they call.them jelly bean .uk poor.kids

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Bob August 10, 2014 at 2:52 pm

I used to work in a pharmacy. As follows is a list of the worst names I can remember seeing: (some of these are tantamount to child abuse)

-Decemba
-Andrewlavione (got back-sassed by the mom when I mispronounced it)
-Clard (almost like Clark, but awful… sounds like a hunk of dirt)
-Peerless
-Diamond Joseph (twin #1, first and middle names)
-Diamond Alexander (twin #2, see above)
-Jaxton
-Strummer
-Gentry
-Rahn (as in Ron)
-Leonidis (spelled like that, and it was a newborn several months after the first “300” movie came out)

My iPhone’s auto-correct feature really put up a fight one a dew of these.

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Bob August 10, 2014 at 2:54 pm

*on a *few of these

…oops

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Bob August 10, 2014 at 2:59 pm

Last post, I promise. I almost forgot about Ayjhia, pronounced “Asia”… again, the poor kid’s mom snapped at my feeble attempt to pronounce this shitty name. How dare a total stranger have the nerve to not read her mind!?

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Rebecca August 12, 2014 at 9:06 pm

I just came across your website because I searched “Why do people give their kids stupid names?” on the Google. So here we are and I have been laughing for a good solid 30 minutes now! Here is my collection of delightful jack-assery, obtained from teaching in a VERY urban area:
Tequila
Taiquila (like tie-keela)
T’quilla
DeMario
D’Avion
Donzale
D’Iamond (like Dee-eye-mond)
I’m sure there are many, many others, but they currently escape me.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 13, 2014 at 8:58 am

Thanks, Rebecca – glad I’ve entertained you. Come back and buy the books. If you think reading them is funny, the audio version will have you peeing your pants.

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Everlynn :( August 26, 2014 at 11:07 pm

Hi lemonjello. My name is Everlynn and I had to turn off spell check just to type that. I think what you’re doing is right because giving kids weird names makes it hard for them. Everyone thinks I should be named Evelyn at first and when they finally figure it out, they spell it wrong. A couple of people thought I had a speech problem and I was pronouncing Evelyn wrong. Worst of all, you have to have adult permission to change your name if you’re under 18. My dad won’t let me, so I’m stuck with it until I grow up.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 27, 2014 at 6:50 am

Thanks for weighing in with some truth, Everlynn.

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Jennifer August 27, 2014 at 4:30 pm

Lunden

And she’s a fuckin’ bitch. Lol

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RedPlumpTomato September 2, 2014 at 10:38 pm

Anakin!

My son invited a kid from school (and his parents) to his birthday party and when introduced to this poor sap of a soul, I cringed. I was mortified! The parents could see my face and I actually felt embarrassment. I couldn’t look at this kid anymore. In fact, I used all the will I had to look away but the force was strong with this one.

These terrible names that parents give their kids make me want to find a cheese grater and grind my balls to a pulp.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 3, 2014 at 6:38 am

Ouch

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Martin September 21, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Man, I feel for those poor kids.

My parents named me after my mom’s dad, but nowadays it’s synonymous with a film director who looks like Charles Manson.

It doesn’t matter how you spell it–Martyn, Maarten, etc etc—YOU JUST DON’T NAME YOUR KID THIS UNLESS YOU WANT HIS CLASSMATES TO DRIVE HIM TO SUICIDE BY HIS 2ND DAY OF KINDERGARTEN. “Marty” is just as bad, it conjures up images of an overweight, underpaid auto mechanic in greasy overalls.

LISTEN UP, PARENTS TO BE: if you give your kid a name he hates, he’s going to grow up thinking you didn’t love him as much as you should have. So snap out of your ear-candy trance.

Personally, I believe the law should be changed to make legal name changes FREE (it’s going to set me back $435 here in Los Angeles, and that’s the sticker price without a lawyer), and it should be LEGAL for kids under 18 to do it without parental consent. Yeah, I know, being in favor of kids’ rights makes me a freakin’ al-Qaeda terrorist…

BTW what’s with all those African-American names that start with La-, Le-, Sha-, etc etc??? Just tack “The-” onto the kid’s name if you want him or her to sound unique. Everyone knows who TheDonald is.

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Dakota September 24, 2014 at 11:22 pm

I agree with some of the names, but others I honestly don’t see anything wrong with. Such as my own name. I’m named Dakota, but it’s a Sioux name meaning “maker of friends” and not the place. And Dakota is a unisex name, so I don’t know what everyone’s issue is with girl’s being named that. Honestly, it sounds more feminine than masculine to me, if you want to assign a gender to a unisex name.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 25, 2014 at 6:43 am

So, it’s fine until it hits close to home, is that what you’re telling me?

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Krista...(it was a popular name in the 80's) October 2, 2014 at 3:35 am

… There’s that awkward moment when you quickly scroll thru the list for each of your children’s names and end up finding one of them in the list of shitty names..

… Then there’s the refreshing moment when you only find 1/4 of your kids names!

… Then the even more refreshing moment when you decide to read the other names (since you’ve already searched for the important ones) and you realize the name Kyson is not all that bad considering the other names listed! *phew!

–RANT BEGINS–
To the person who wants to smack/punch/stab, in the face, the next parent to name their kid Nevaeh … Where can I sign up?! This has got to be the worst fucking name ever! I’ve asked these, usually broke ass, trailer trash, teen moms, why and they always say “it’s heaven spelled backwards! Cute huh!?” I ALWAYS reply with “not really! It’s dumb! What if she doesn’t believe in heaven. Plus it’s a pain in the ass name for a kid to spell!!”

Last but not least, I think my ex husbands fiancé should be slapped for the names she picks!! No not because it’s my ex husband (divorced 11yrs & friends now)!! 2/3rds of her kids are on here (Keylee & Keanu… I think that ones on here) BUT the 3rd is due soon and his name SHOULD be on here! I found the female version but his name will be Mukio -no clue on spelling but pronounced Mu-kye-ooh! Honestly! Wtf is wrong with people?

–RANT END–

Despite finding one child’s name I still love this website! Thanks for all your hard work!!

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Krista...(it was a popular name in the 80's) October 2, 2014 at 3:50 am

DAMN! Just finished reading more comments & I’m 2/4 now

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I'llNeverTell October 2, 2014 at 4:02 am

Just adding some names I found…

(They are siblings.. Poor kids!)

Taggart
Aisley
Hadley
Tripper

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Francine November 9, 2014 at 10:53 pm

This website really gets me. As much as I hate my name that my parents gave to me, my brother gave me an even uglier nickname (too ugly to even say), so I plan to change it to Roxie (which is a better one for me).

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Christy November 11, 2014 at 1:55 am

My mom named my sister Dodie (pronounced like the guy who died with princess Dianna) middle name is Ann, her reason was that her mom’s name was JoAnn and her brother used to call her DoeAnn because he couldn’t pronounce the J. I just got JoAnn as a middle name. And while my name is pretty normal it is usually an abbreviation of Christine so I sometimes have people who don’t believe it is my name but a shortening of something. And yes if I don’t spell it for people it will get spelled Kristi or Kristie or Christie. Too many spellings for one simple name.

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Mike November 21, 2014 at 10:32 am

Can anyone beat ASSHOLE? (pronounced A-sho-lee)? Dead serious.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 21, 2014 at 11:52 am

No, they can’t – but show me some proof, Mike. I gotta see this to believe it.

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Anon April 13, 2015 at 9:13 am

i went to school with a girl named whisper.
Everyone used to whisper everything they said to her…

Also knew someone who had a kid in their class named shithead (shi-theed).

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Anon December 26, 2014 at 5:56 am

I overheard a guy at my kids’ pediatrician’s office loudly calling his son Neo. I couldn’t allow myself to even glance in their direction or to look at my husband because I was on the verge of giggling and kept thinking things like, “The doctor will see you now, MR. ANDERSON.” I’m glad my son didn’t hear it, though he is probably desensitized to crazy names by now. My husband also couldn’t talk until we got to the car. Poor kid. I hope the doctor can refer him to a good therapist.

Numerous (mis-?)spellings of the same name sadly is not a new trend. Like bad clothing fads and hairstyles, it just keeps coming back around. When I was in school in the 70s and 80s, there were four girls in my grade (seriously, four out of about 100 students) in a small-town school named Tracy, Tracey, Traci, and Tracie.

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Martin February 15, 2015 at 12:13 am

Yep, when I was a kindygartener, my mother was friends with a woman who had a baby boy named Neo (as in “neo-Nazi”). Everyone else just called him Neil, pretty much like the way a lot of Byrons get called Brian.

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ghoti January 7, 2015 at 3:20 pm

I’m surprised no one has mentioned this, but that horrible Duggar family on TLC that reproduces like rabbits and gives all of their kids names that start with ‘J’ have a daughter named Jinger. It’s pronounced Ginger, which isn’t too bad a name, but whenever I see it spelled out, I read it in my head as rhyming with ‘finger’. It makes no god damn sense! If they’re going to eschew the first soft ‘G’ then why not the second one? Jinjer is still dumb, but at least the spelling rules are consistent.

It’s already cheesy enough that all their kids’ names start with J, but it’s not like there’s a shortage of nice J names! You have no reason to resort to Jinger! Come on, Duggars! You can either stick to the ‘J’ theme or name your kid Ginger, but you can’t have both!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 9, 2015 at 11:08 am

I like you.

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Scrapper January 28, 2015 at 8:35 pm

So I worked in a hospital once. You definitely see a lot of weird names. 2 that stand out were:
First name: Crystal
Middle name: Shanda
Last name: Leer
Say it all together now! Yea. Seriously.

And then of course you have the old:
“Baby Boy”. This happens when parents leave without naming. Trouble is sometimes people don’t ever get around to changing it. True story.

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Sara N. February 11, 2015 at 2:46 pm

I have two children who have normal names that are spelled in a normal fashion. However, I am also a nurse at a hospital with a busy OB unit, and every baby born there gets their pic and name posted online in the “Virtual Nursery”. Here are a few of the more ridiculous-but-sadly-true (born in the last 12 months) from my hometown in the midwest:

– Henneseigh Dezerie-Sky (girl- and yes her middle name is actually hyphenated, an extra-super splash of stupid)
– Eterniti Emerald-River (girl – yep, that’s another hyphenated middle name folks!)
– Pandora Joyce (girl)
– Luminn Knight
– Adam Hercules
– Wristan
– Jaidyn (girl)
– Lyann (girl)
– Rylee (girl – there are about 10 million Ryli/Rylee/Ryleighs now)
– America Ximena (girl)
– Kaylynn (girl)
_ Gavyn (boy)
– Brilynn (girl)
– Austynne (Girl)
– Brynlee Vey (girl)
– Matalyn (girl)
– Kamryn Alivya (girl)
– Lyvani (girl)
– Luna Rayne (girl – they should have spelled it “Loonah” to go with the dumbness of spelling “Rain” as “Rayne” in my opinion).
– Abrianna Cataleya (girl)
– Farren Rene’e (girl, and yes that apostrophe is part of the name)
– Amyia Jo (girl I have no idea how you’d pronounce this… like “Amy-ee-ah”? “Ah-my-ah”?? My point exactly.)
– Kaliya Renee Aleece (girl)
– Eligant Jacionna (Girl – pronounced like “Elegant”, and somewhat surprisingly by two white parents).
– Rayden (boy)
– Jaycen (boy)
– Brycen (boy)
– Evalyn Donia (girl)
– Micheal (Boy – I don’t think this was an attempt to be unique, just old fashioned low IQs to misspell the name Michael. Not the first time I’ve seen this with this name actually either. Duuuuhhhhhhh….)
– Addrrianna (girl – c’mon, lets double up on some more letters in there!!)
– Sydnee (girl)
– Serenity Grace (girl)
– Serenity Faith (girl)
– Addisyn (girl)
– Maddisyn (girl)
– Tyssleigh (girl)
– Ulises (boy – another low IQ spelling mistake I think)
– Stokely (boy)
– Brooklynn Carmell (girl)
– India Acha (girl – sounds like a coughing sound)
– Gracelyn Izabel (girl)
– Baylee (girl)
– Xandria (girl – I actually know of these people, and the real problem is that they aren’t smart enough to realize that the “X” is pronounced as a “Z”, like “Zandria”, so they actually pronounce her name as “EX-andria”. Wow.)
– Irelynn (girl – I think they were going for Ireland, hahahahaha).
– Braylen (boy)
– Kamdyn (boy)
– Havyn Kaylynn (girl – it’s dumb AND it rhymes, woo-hoo!!!!)
– Keirianna Rainn (girl)
– Jaxx (boy)
– Ariana Skai (girl)

Yep, it’s a well-named crop of future strippers and pimps. Way to go, new generation of parents!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher February 12, 2015 at 8:06 am

Nice list! Thanks!

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Riley March 8, 2015 at 5:18 pm

Looks like your shitty little site is gaining no traction

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 9, 2015 at 7:57 am

And what makes you say that, my dear?

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Martin April 8, 2015 at 7:56 pm

I’m convinced parenthood alters brain cells. Scientists should start doing scans on brains of parents vs. brains of kidless people.

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James April 12, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Once upon a time I worked with a Mushroom eating, Nightshade smoking idiot who names his infant son (Meanstick) Delaney.

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Callum April 20, 2015 at 10:27 pm

It’s not even the out-of-this-world names that get to me (I just ignore them, they’re so stupid), it’s the purposely misspelled, “modernized” ones. For example, I’ve never hated McKenzie as a girl’s name (it’s traditionally a Scottish surname that means son of Kenzie, but it’s been used enough in the states that I don’t mind it). But names like Makenzie, M’kenzy, Makkenzy, Makynzy, and their bastardized forms McKenna, Makenna, Mikena, etc. that I can’t stand any of them anymore. And it wasn’t so bad before…

Just sad.

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Andrew April 21, 2015 at 7:53 pm

I just watched an episode of Rehab Addict with Nicole Curtis. In this episode she had her 4yo named Elwood on the show. Elwood is a GIRL!?! Now I’ve lost all respect for that woman. Ugh.

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Stac April 24, 2015 at 1:47 pm

Swear to God, I once met a woman named DeShawnDohlahRich Richards.

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G May 1, 2015 at 4:56 pm

I am pregnant and I told my sister to slap me if I try to name my baby some dumbass name. She happily agreed.
Some names that I have heard that drive me crazy:
Avalina (Javelina lol)
Jaxon
Airwrecka
Airren
Jayton (or anything ending in -ton/-son/-don)
Jennings
Emerson
Taqueria (pronounced Tah care ee uh)
Nevaeh
Star
Camryn
Harlow (the harlot)
Marlee
Ruthdella (saw this on a baby board)
Mercedes, Bentley, Portia, Porsche
Brooklyn
Ava
Abbygayle
Kaylee
Kylee
K-a
Diamond Champagne
Serenitee
Felicitee
Any boy name for a girl (Dillon, Bobbi, Ryanne, James etc)
My autocorrect kept giving me hell for these names. Pregnancy hormones make me want to slap these people.

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Linda May 18, 2015 at 1:35 am

Even though everyone has their own taste n style in names there r still those rare names out there that are known all over the world. Shakira,Beyonce, Cheyenne, Rihanna and so on who knows maybe u won’t b laughing after all when one of those names of someone u laughed at turns out to b Known by everyone.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher May 19, 2015 at 2:11 pm

I will still laugh. All of those names are fucking ridiculous.

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Louise May 19, 2015 at 11:13 pm

My daughters name is Misa.
Like Lisa but with an M instead.
Every one calls her MISSa yet I know lots of Lisa’s and no one ever calls them LISSa, anyway just wondering if I am to blame for this, is Misa considered a crap name?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher May 22, 2015 at 4:01 pm

Yes. Yes it is.

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Diana June 25, 2015 at 5:16 pm

“When Asia Argento was born in Rome, the city registry office refused to acknowledge Asia as an appropriate name, and instead officially inscribed her as Aria Argento.” (Wikipedia)
If a Republican candidate promised to start doing this in America, I would turn a blind eye to the whole abortion thing.

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Jim July 24, 2015 at 10:58 pm

Here’s a few that make my eyes roll back in my head and shudder :
Tristan
Brayden
Hayden
Hunter
Ryder
Colton
Kayden
Bryson
And any other non-traditional “made up” boys name in the last 20 years by pretentious parents in an attempt to be unique and “creatively misspelled” and ends with an N or R and sometimes a Y in the middle .
You sound ridiculous addressing your kids out in public . Idiots !

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Sue July 31, 2015 at 6:08 pm

did some volunteer work for at my church’s preschool ministry. here are some names that made me go “WHY?!?!?!?!”

Girls
H’Rmony
I’vehonestii
Cedar
Madisyn
Bralynn

Boys
Declan
Aryan (as in Aryan race)
Colbyn
Ayzik

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R.S August 27, 2015 at 10:01 pm

The only “unique” or “different” name i ever saw and liked was “Kyandra” and i honestly really liked it because when we were in school together everyone just knew her as Ky (Read: Kai). But i couldnt help but think, if her parents wanted to name her Kai, like the traditional eastern asian name Khai, /why didn’t they/ just name her Kai or Khai, instead of usingtheir childs name as a way to affirm and seek outside validation of how creative and hippyish they were, just seems so dumb.

Thank J.Dongle crew for maintaining this site, it provides me endless giggles.
-A Heartily Laughing Roy

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Martin August 30, 2015 at 10:58 am

Re Nevaeh… I think that besides heaven spelled backwards, the holy roller hillbillies like this name because it sounds Middle Eastern. Any Middle Eastern name is da s**t to a holy roller.

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jkae September 17, 2015 at 10:09 am

i like think women

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Christal November 12, 2015 at 3:14 am

The name I hate the most is Adolf Hitler
I hate nazi’s , some names are stupid,
Not for me to judge though. I named
My daughter Ariana because I thought
It was original at the time. I get tired
Of hearing the same worn out names,
However I won’t mention any of these
Names out of respect for people with
These names. I like original names,if
It sounds good and isn’t derogatory!

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Christal November 12, 2015 at 3:31 am

Dr. Johnny Donig, you say you live in Germany and you say you want to KILL the parents who name their child a name you hate,well you sound like a NAZI to me!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher November 18, 2015 at 1:04 pm

I do not live in Germany and I do not want to kill anyone.

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Dan December 4, 2015 at 2:42 am

This site is great! Not enough people have the guts to come out and tell people that they are:
1. Being pretentious jackasses by inventing pronunciations of the random strings of letters they call names.
2. Adding insult to injury by insisting everyone pronounce their darling child’s name the ‘right way’.
3. Defining hypocrisy by spelling the name wrong and then wanting it pronounced right.
4. Brutally murdering at least a portion of their child’s happy memories and lifelong friendships by giving them such abortions for names.
5. Proving that you are indeed correct in your assumption of the relative intelligence levels of the people who like/create these kinds of ‘names’ when they comment here with great rage and little insight.

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Something Normal December 12, 2015 at 12:34 pm

I’m a teacher in a high school. I’m told there is a girl coming up whose name is HerHighness. Her brother is named Shithead (pronounced Shi-Todd). I figured one of my colleagues was jerking my chain until I found this site. If I get those kids in class, I can’t call them those names.

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Tiffany January 6, 2016 at 4:18 pm

I work at a children’s clinic and there are way to many “Aiden, Ayden, Brayden, Jayden, Caiden, Drayden, Hayden, and Zaydens”.

And lots of last names used as first names: Carson, Cooper, Braxton, Mason, Connor, Davis, Finley, Harper, Baker, Brady.

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Ch January 17, 2016 at 8:39 am

How about Kolebi ? Didn’t see that on the list.

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Martin March 16, 2016 at 11:16 pm

Funny, years ago when Kobe Bryant started playing pro basketball, I thought his name was Colby (a type of cheese). Later I learned he was named after the city of Kobe, Japan.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 31, 2016 at 3:25 pm

Let’s be honest, Martin – that’s really not that funny.

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John Lavell January 30, 2016 at 9:35 pm

There is a guy Brad and he builds fences for a living. Not exactly the athletic or strong type, but he is a major, major Broncos fan. He named his son Champ. Not as a nickname, but the legal name. Seriously, that has to put a lot of pressure on a kid. He needs to be an amazing athlete or he will be on the receiving end of a lot of ass whoopings.

John

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Cindy February 5, 2016 at 9:35 am

Hey love this site! I’ve been obsessed with names since I can remember.
I really want to punch these assholes in the face who saddle their poor babies with names like on this site. I’m glad someone has the balls to call shit shit for once. I really believe in the near future there will be a branch of psychology just for people who grew up with horrible names.

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Kelly Greene February 27, 2016 at 2:31 pm

Johnny Dongle-“HATER”
NO SEARCH/CONTACT ON SITE…

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Aini February 28, 2016 at 3:07 pm

I’ve read these comments, majority of names are horribly spelled. But in my country Indonesia, there is parents who name their son “N” (yes only a word) and “.” (as is dot or titik in Indonesian (this isn’t even a letter). The other names are “O”, “T” (laziest names ever). T,T

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Nia (Gaelic name) April 22, 2016 at 3:51 pm

Okay, so I knew someone in college who had a baby that was a product of rape. She named her baby Payne…

Coincidently, I met someone with a similar background. They named their baby Hope.

Dear God, please Payne from a life of pain. I hope Hope can find some good in this crazy place called life. Amen

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Nia (Gaelic name) April 22, 2016 at 3:55 pm

*Please protect Payne from of a life of pain*

… see that was just painful

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Anne May 26, 2016 at 3:17 pm

When I was student teaching I stumbled across some children whose parents probably either thought too hard or not hard enough when naming their offspring:

Princess
Diamond
Blaze
Sierra (Blaze, and Sierra were siblings and had two others both of which were elementally based but I don’t recall the other two.)
Infiniti
And last but not least Surprize

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