by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 28, 2011

I usually ignore when celebrities name their kids shitty things because, well, fuck them, that’s why.  But Natalie Portman naming her child Aleph Millepied is extra fucking stupid, even for a celebrity.

Aleph is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet.  That’s it.  So, if you speak Hebrew, then the kids name is A.  How creative.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Katie August 3, 2011 at 10:04 am

Is this pronounced like ‘elf’? I’m sure all the kids will call her elf anyways, even if the kid is tall.


Anonymous August 11, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Its pronounced ‘ah-lef’. Not saying I don’t think it’s a weird name (I speak Hebrew), but it’s common in Israel, with religious people. Other than meaning, well, the first letter of the alphabet, it means something along the lines of ‘leader, first born’. All the letters have a great meaning to them, so don’t trash it, it’s not your culture.


Lemonjello Redenbacher August 12, 2011 at 6:29 am

It’s fucking stupid outside of Israel.


Anonymous August 12, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Okay, I have to say I do agree with you in that one…


ns October 1, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Natalie Portman was born in Israel and I believe her parents still live there. That being said, the rest of these stupid names are spot on.


Miki Nimadzh December 30, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I absolutely love this name.


Jimson July 18, 2013 at 8:06 pm

it’s the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, with that being said, how many kids are just named A? How many Greek kids running around with the name Alpha??


me September 7, 2013 at 12:33 pm

We name girls “Kay”, right?


Grackle January 5, 2014 at 6:03 pm

…true, “me”. And Bea, and Dee, and Jay…


Platypus July 14, 2014 at 10:35 am

It’s incredibly offensive to include names from other cultures on this list. Shows how close-minded americans are. *Jewish people live in America*


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 15, 2014 at 11:37 pm

Um, Platypus…you do know that “offensive” is kind of our bread and butter around here, right?


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