by Lemonjello Redenbacher on August 24, 2010

Well, we’ve finally gotten to the bottom of the barrel, folks.  Sure, there will be others crawling around the sludge-worn bottom of said name barrel, but none will ever be lower.  To fucking actually put pen to paper and write this embarrassment down on your child’s birth certificate form and then send it in to the government for approval, reeks of the inability to raise any sort of human being (and/or pet, for that matter).  I sincerely hope that Abcde finds it in her heart someday to tell her parents to fuck off.  Fuck right off and go straight to hell.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy November 1, 2010 at 4:21 pm


That’s really all I have to say…


Scarlett Fitch May 13, 2011 at 1:58 pm

You have got to be shitting me.


Priya October 8, 2011 at 4:58 pm

…so how do you pronounce that?


Eiran September 30, 2014 at 9:10 am

It’s pronounced ‘Ab-ce-dee’.

I think it’s a pretty name.


Shea November 24, 2011 at 10:22 pm

wtf?????? How is this pronounced?


Anonymous January 3, 2012 at 3:37 am

I think it’s pronounced “Ab-cih-duh”


Ana February 5, 2012 at 5:38 pm

@Shea: “Absidee”


Zane March 21, 2012 at 6:37 am


Isn’t that child abuse?


Bon'Quisha March 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Gurl, I name ma child Abcde any day.


Leah September 5, 2012 at 12:48 am

Abcde is the worst name ever!


bahahahahaha! November 1, 2012 at 8:12 am

i actually fell off my chair laughing at this one! it really takes the cake! so my screen name was inspired by what happened the moment i read your web page and saw ABCDE !


Anonymous November 26, 2012 at 11:22 pm

She has siblings named Sunshine and Lily. All have been removed from the mother’s care.


Alice August 3, 2013 at 1:27 am

Lewis Black has a great joke about this, & how he was told by a social worker that she’d been working with a kid named Shithead. Pronounced “shi-thayd”.


Dafuq March 19, 2015 at 11:01 pm

I like the sound of the name, but the spelling is horrific. If I were to name my child this I would spell it Absidee or Abcidy.


Anonymous October 27, 2015 at 1:10 pm

I once met a kid named Abcde but the parents pronounce it “ab-duh”. Because obviously the c is silent. Poor kid.


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