Braycen

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 31, 2010

How many different names can people make up that, in the end, all basically sound the same? ┬áBraycen, Brayden, Bryson, Dyson, Tyson, Kaelin, Kyson, Kyler, Buxton — what the fuck?

Your arrogant efforts to be unique and quirky have, ironically, turned out to make your kids even more “the same” than the Richards and Susans.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Steve August 11, 2011 at 10:12 am

It’s pretty clear that parents who name their kids with “Bray” in there, have no idea what the word bray means, i.e. one of the most ear-shredding sounds on earth … the bray of a donkey. Even the tribesmen of Central Asia, who depend on donkeys for survival and succour, and revere the animal as a God, could never allow themselves to take the donkey’s bray as anything other than the heinous grating screech it so clearly is.
It seems clear there are whole generations of parents for whom the basic roster of farmyard animal noises are unknown to them … well it must follow that their offpsring would be even less aware of what a bray is.
Which is a shame, because if there were any grace and justice in the world, children named ‘Brayden’ or ‘Braycen’ would be constantly pursued through the playground by other kids going “HEEE-HAWWWW, AWWWWWW” all day long.
Because when I was a lad, that would have been the expected thing. You’re called Brayden, and that’s your ticket to being addressed with a horrible screeching animal sound. You’d expect it.

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