by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 1, 2010

I have a feeling that this isn’t the first time this poor child’s name has ended up on a shitty name list, and it won’t be the last.

P.A.R.A.D.O.X.A.L. is actually an acronym for her full name, which is Pandora Astraea Radagast Annextiomarus Dalía Ondine Xeziriq Amethyst L. (apparently her fuckface parents couldn’t come up with anything clever for the letter L).  I’m not really sure if they meant to make it “paradoxical” and fucked up, or if they’re stupid in another form.  I just really can’t read people like this.

What I do know is that they were obviously craving attention, as is not only evidenced from naming their poor little girl this shit, but by their disgusting and obnoxious hair colors and facial piercings.

You know — if you want to be a fucking freak, by all means have at it.  Cut as many holes in your face as you’d like and smear shit in your hair — it’s your right as an American.  But why do you have to fuck up a kid while you’re in the process?  Odds are, she won’t want to be a fucking creep like you when she gets older…but it appears as if you’re not giving her much of a choice by naming her something this fucked up.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

thestranger May 28, 2010 at 9:51 am

The L is the first initial of the mothers last name, which wasn’t announced to provide a bit of anonymity.

Sadly, the baby’s name is the least disturbing part of that whole story. Its got bath tub births and home vasectomies.


Antonia October 8, 2011 at 7:32 am

I can deal with some of those names, Pandora, Astraea, Ondine, but the whole thing is a bit much. At least she can just go as Pandora, or even Dora, as she gets older… I think they gave her some options. But the PARADOXAL is so stupid… look it up in a dictionary people!


THAT CHICK March 17, 2013 at 1:55 pm

Radagast the brown is a wizard. He’s a guy. Also, Xeriziq? That’s retarded!


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