Jagger

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on April 7, 2010

Listen up, Dad from the 70s — we understand that you love The Stones.  We also understand that your life turned out to be so pathetic that you still worship The Stones as they are now decrepit and near death.  But your son is not a rock star, nor will he ever be one.   And Mick and the fellas won’t sign your tits just because you named your kid after them.  Get over it — it’s a fucking band.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous October 10, 2011 at 8:10 pm

I actually know a girl named Jagger.

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Casey Kahlenbacher November 9, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Jagger is NOT a name!

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Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 4:01 pm

That’s mean to people with that name stop dissing them its horrible!!!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher February 24, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Fuck you & fuck them.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher Hater June 26, 2012 at 8:14 am

fuck you Lemonjello Redenbacher why dont you just die:L

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Lemonjello Redenbacher June 29, 2012 at 6:08 am

Oh, I will one day.

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Kat July 30, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Soleil Moon Frye (AKA Punky Brewster) has two kids with horrible names:

Poet Sienna Rose (Rose is the only part of the name that is decent)

Jagger Joseph Blue

^^You would automatically assume that the name above would belong to a boy. You’re wrong. It’s a fucking girl.

But what can you really expect with somebody who has a completely fucked up name herself?

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Xenerick November 19, 2013 at 5:16 am

Go Lemonjello you have to stand up to these people or this plague of horrid names will never stop. Sadly this only helps in a miniscule way, but other than gov’t intervention nothing will stop it anyway and as much as I hate names like these I do not believe the government has the time, money, or power to coerce a citizen to name their children sensibly. But the government should at least take a look at those names and send child social services to their house until the kid is 18 I will agree to pay more in taxes for that and I hate all tax increases, but these children need someone looking out for them, and their parents are obviously not, naming their children names like this is selfish, it is look at me I named my child something so unique nobody will ever be able to pronounce it. The kid is obviously second to those parents.

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Lindsey June 17, 2014 at 1:04 am

I had a dog named Jagger and he’s a badass.

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Anonymous May 13, 2016 at 3:34 pm

my brothers name is jagger

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