Annalise

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 12, 2009

This is by far the worst thing that I have seen that you could name your daughter.  Hands down.  Sure, it seems harmless — possibly even pretty — at first glance.  But look closer, folks.  Think like a kid.

Annalise = Anal-Ease.  Anal-Ease = anal sex lubricant.  Annalise = a tortured childhood.

{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

Becky December 12, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Spelled properly, Anneliese is a great name. :) It is on our short list of girls names…. after I corrected my husband on the spelling, that is. And pointed out that his chosen spelling, Annalise, was, in fact, Anal ease.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 28, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Why, oh why do I have to explain this every fucking time — just because YOU think it’s a great name does not make it so. Anneliese, no matter how it’s spelled, will still be called Anal Ease. I promise you. 100% guaranteed. No fucking doubt about it.

I hope your short list isn’t TOO short.

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Interested Observer August 15, 2015 at 3:39 pm

Now we can confirm you never had or failed logic in school too.

Boy your parents must be so proud. You can bully people, but your IQ must set records.

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B March 30, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Anneliese is a legitimate German name, pronounced ‘Ah-nuh-leese’.
ANNELIESE: (Pron. Ah-nuh-leese)German compound name composed of French Anne “favor; grace” and Liese “God is my oath.”
Pretty much guarantee that ‘anal’ won’t be associated with the name spelled Anneliese, considering the word ‘anal’ isn’t in it.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 30, 2010 at 6:46 pm

So, we’re handing out guarantees then, B? Well, then…I guarantee you’re a fucking idiot. Any kid in the United States with any sort of imagination will use the word “anal” when referring to this kid.

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B March 31, 2010 at 10:30 am

Well, in the 37yrs that my sister has had that name, she’s never been called anal ease.

And no reason to be a douchebag. Argue your point, thats great, I normally agree with you. But I don’t think calling anyone a ‘fucking idiot’ is necessary. Unless of course they think ‘Urhines’ or ‘Makks’ is a great name.

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Gabriel March 11, 2011 at 4:58 am

i bet she’s gonna have lots of buttsex

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Casual Reader August 2, 2011 at 5:01 am

I really like the way the site owner drives away traffic by calling people who support the site “fucking idiots” and insulting perfectly normal names because of an overactive imagination that can make anything filthy.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 2, 2011 at 6:27 am

It creates traffic, you fucking idiot.

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Stupid August 7, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Everyone trying to act smart talking about the German pronounciation is wrong.

Its like anna-lisa. With an UH at the end. Four syllables. Damn.

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Lucy October 28, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Sorry Lemonjello, this is not a weird name. It’s German, i.e. not weird.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher October 28, 2011 at 4:53 pm

This site is written in America, by an American. It’s weird.

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A Scribe August 15, 2015 at 3:41 pm

*Written in America, by a Sophophobic immature American, who is quite weird.

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Jenny January 1, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I’m American, and I know two girls with this name, pronounced “aw-nuh-leese” and no one has ever made fun of their names, and I go to a pretty brutal high school. I know this is an American website, but we don’t just use American names, and this is kind of a classic and doesn’t really fit in with all the other horrible names. This would make more sense for those parents who try to name their daughters Annalee or Annaly, now that’s something kids would notice.

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Jenny January 1, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I mean you’re obviously out numbered in opinion so calling people who disagree with you “fucking idiots” is kind of weak, stubborn, and ignorant at this point.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 1, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Disagree, you fucking idiot.

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Jenny January 1, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Hey, it’s whatever, at least I get laid.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 8:04 am

Yes. That’s legit. At least you get laid. I love how people like you assume that because someone has a strong opinion on the internet, they are a basement dweller who does not get laid. The funny thing is that I would be willing to wager that you are getting laid by the one person desperate enough to shoe horn his flacid cock into anything that’s warm.

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Jenny January 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Nope, I actually have a boyfriend of over 3 years and he’s quite a catch. Well if you’re going to assume anyone who disagrees with you is a “fucking idiot” (and having to cuss to get your point across prooves this worse) even though I most likely have more experience with kids names than you do (I’m a high school English teacher and have Asperger’s and have been studying Onomatology since I was a child) then I can just as well assume you don’t get laid. One misconception for another sounds fair to me.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Well, in that case, get your ass out from under the sheets and thank your lucky stars that you still have a job as an English teacher – because you spelling is for shit.

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Jenny January 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

In my English class we write with pencils, you can’t make typos with pencils.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Wait – you teach high school English in a school that doesn’t use computers in the year 2012? No wonder you think these shit names are good – you live in the dark ages.

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Interested Observer August 15, 2015 at 3:42 pm

Considering your own bad education, you have zero room to talk about someone else’s education.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 17, 2015 at 9:40 am

Sure I do! I have room to do whatever the fuck I want on my own website!

Side note – I always love how people like you come on here saying I am uneducated. And how do you know this? For the record, I have a doctorate. So maybe I am not educated in the way that you feel is necessary, but since we’re guessing about people’s education now – I bet mine is far superior to yours.

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Jenny January 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

And I have very few typos compared to most others on this site, on top of that.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

You must be REALLY smart then!

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Jenny January 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

We only use computers for essays, you think kids don’t learn how to WRITE anymore? Now that’s sad.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm

No – I think kids learn how to write WAY before fucking high school.

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J January 21, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I don’t mind the name when pronounced and spelled properly (Anneliese, wtf is that?), but no bratty kid looking for a put-down could miss anal-ease

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Captain Obvious March 4, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Her brother should be named Astro Glyde.

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Jana March 13, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Gah. I actually liked this name for a while, spelled Anneliese, but now that you’ve pointed it out….well, needless to say, it’s off the list. Forever.

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Grackle January 6, 2014 at 3:31 pm

Okay, this is a totally normal name. I think I knew at least two growing up in the US.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 21, 2014 at 12:32 pm

Yes it is. But this isn’t Unusual Kid Names, it’s Stupid Kid Names.

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Annalise March 2, 2014 at 6:27 pm

That hurts!! I hate my name now!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher March 7, 2014 at 10:51 am

Well, that was easy.

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Angry August 30, 2014 at 11:54 am

You must have been a bully in school. I am not so cruel that I would start calling someone this, or try to come up with cruel names from legitimate names. Not even when I was a child.

You really have issues.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 1, 2014 at 3:05 pm

You’re right, I was kind of a bully in school. I’m not super proud of it. I’ve tried to make amends via Facebook and the Internet and all.

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Hyena of Ice August 30, 2014 at 7:30 pm

I must agree with Lemonjello about this name. I’m not so sure it would be so bad if spelled correctly, but spelled like this, you’re just asking for some kid to come in during recess and erase most of the letters so that all that is left is “An al ” on the chalkboard, just like what kids did at my school whenever Moby Dick was written on the blackboard.

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Interested Observer August 15, 2015 at 3:45 pm

Another sign of bad education.

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Angry September 3, 2014 at 9:14 am

I thought so. At least you’re making the effort to make amends.

However, even more shameful is doing it to sell books.

You must realize that you are one of the reasons these kids come up with these ideas. So you’re facilitating it – regardless of whether or not they go looking for it.

Keep up the good work – hope you’re not making a living with this.

Going to look at your comprehensive list right now and purposely pick a name from your list to name my newborn.

Already have Annalise. Need something just as special!

Thanks for the input.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 3, 2014 at 9:17 am

Yes – kids have been making fun of other kids’ names for centuries, but when I bring it to light and chastise the parents for naming their kids shit, I am the one facilitating it. Makes sense.

And then you want to go and purposefully name your kid a shitty name to spite me. Makes even more sense.

Quit projecting. YOU are the problem.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher September 3, 2014 at 4:05 pm

Not for nothing here, you probably will do exactly that and pick a name for your child just to spite an anonymous Internet critic. Rather than, say, something your own daughter might grow up, enjoy, cherish, like her name to be. You’re exactly the type of parent that gave birth to this site. We love you! Keep procreating! ;)

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Angry September 3, 2014 at 8:59 pm

Have to make sure you get your paycheck! Don’t we?

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Mike Hunt September 4, 2014 at 7:18 am

I have seen this name spelled ‘Analise’.

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Beth August 18, 2015 at 9:07 am

Anneliese is the name of Anne Frank. Don’t make fun of the Holocaust

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 24, 2015 at 1:47 pm

I just told another poster that she was the worst person ever to visit the site because she tried to play the “racism” card – on an Irish name. Now I have to go back and tell her that she is NOT, in fact, the worst person ever to visit the site. Now it’s you, Beth. Congratulations!

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