by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 23, 2009

I bet you people with this name grow up to use proper grammar, master the “art” of punctuation, and name their children reasonable things.

LMAO — only kidding.  Golden is a type of retriever, not a human name.

{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }

Wa-Ta-Mel Angelou July 23, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Say what you want about “Golden” but I’m almost certain she is a big gift giver and is thankful for her friends. Hell, I bet she attaches cards to those big presents expressing her gratitude.


Kelli July 23, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Nothing wrong with the name. Extremely unique and full of personality. Seems to me you are attacking people personally…


golden July 24, 2009 at 1:35 pm

yeah make fun of my name, but obviously youre too afraid to put your own name on here. i bet its something boring and “normal” like john doe.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 25, 2009 at 8:13 am


Actually, it’s Puddintain. Ask me again and I’ll tell you the same!


Matthew July 25, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Wow you have a really stupid job, what the hell is up your rectum? Do you have a jelly jar stuck up there? Nah you would like that too much. It might be barb wire. No if you’re making fun of kids name you might be a little freak and enjoy barb wire up your ass. What could it be? What could be up your ass to make you so pissed off at the world that you feel the need to make fun of kids names? I GOT IT! Your nasty ass took yoga for 3 1/2 years to be able to stick your tongue up your ass. Hot damn I got it didn’t I? But here let me help you out with your little site here. My name is Matthew, this is my wife Golden that you’ve been making fun of, Jenna is my daughter, and Cross and Blaze are my sons. So you sit at home with your sorry ass life and make fun of all these names, because you know that if you were to walk around on the streets and meet up with my 4 year old, 2 year old, and 3 month old seeing you with your tongue up your butt, they would take turns not only kicking the rest of your tongue up your ass, but your whole fuckin head up that anus of yours to where the only thing you would be able to make fun of is how small everyone elses butthole is smaller than yours.


Michelle July 26, 2009 at 7:06 am

Yo, I’m just here to say: Shut the hell up, you Douchebag. I put a capital in there, because that’s your last name. I’d also put in your first name, but it’s so ugly and stupid that it would get censored anyways. I don’t know which is more idiotic, your name or your brain. You know the saying: That’s a no-brainer? That’s always pointing at you. Anyways, the name you just made fun of, just happens to belong to one of the greatest persons you’ll ever meet in your life. But then again, I don’t think you know the meaning of “friend”. You know, think all you want, but you’ll never even be close to be good, let alone to be just as great as Golden is. It’s a beautiful name, and especially more beautiful then yours, beast.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 26, 2009 at 3:32 pm

lol…what homeless shelter did you drag these cretins from, Golden?

Matthew, thanks for the introduction of your entire family. After reading your post, I am deeply saddened for your children. Sounds like Golden has herself a real catch.

Michelle — please stop taking spelling lessons from Golden (for your own good). The word you were grasping for was “than” — “more beautiful THAN yours.” Common mistake — especially amongst mouth breathers.

And my name is Diamond, which is technically more beautiful than Golden.


Matthew July 26, 2009 at 5:26 pm

That’s it? That’s your huge comeback? You have this whole website of being a smart ass and you give my wife a compliment by telling her how awesome of a husband she has. And you giving yourself these retarded names is pretty stupid too. I guess your done with this site now that you can’t even come up with a good comeback. So go ahead and get your school supplies together cause it’s almost time to go back to school and get some more egamacation, and you’re about to start the 5th grade right? Oh yeah don’t get made fun of too much for that tongue problem of yours. Oh and for Michelle, he uses the term”mouth breathers” because he can’t use his mouth right now because it’s shoved up his anus. P.S. I gave you a freebie by misspelling education. Just giving you a chance to have some kind of comeback.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 26, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Yep! That’s it! Site’s over! Your witty banter has brought me to my knees!

Jesus…I can’t wait until the electric company shuts off the power to your fucking trailer so you two pieces of shit go away.

Wait — on second thought, I appreciate having you around. The more you visit, the more publicity my site gets and the more money I make! YAY!!

My Lexus thanks you, Matthew (that’s a type of nice car by the way — not a shitty name that your wife and her unemployed friends dreamed up).


Matthew July 26, 2009 at 8:17 pm

Well because I actually have a life and a loving family (that you obviously don’t have) and noticed you’re too much of a chicken shit to say something about my name then I probably won’t come back to this homosexual site of yours anymore. Oh my wife says that saying homosexual is degrading to them, so sorry I degraded you just now. So here are my ending comments to you. You don’t have a job because you deal with this site. You don’t have a Lexus let alone a vehicle of any kind because of the all knowing fact that your tongue is stuck in your butthole, so how can you drive? You don’t get paid for this site because who the fuck would pay for this crap? You have no education what so ever. The porn you watch is kiddy porn. And because you’re online talking all this shit nothing you say is true at all and that is why you chat to little kids online on other sites and tell them about your so-called degrees and your gay ass cars and you go to their houses to have sex with them. So all in all you are a lying, retarded, child molesting, dumb fuck. So have fun getting butt raped (which I’m sure you will) in jail when you finally get caught on Dateline.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 6:34 am

lol…you know what’s funny about all of that Matthew? It’s that you feel really proud that you “got that guy on the internet”, but in the end I will go out today and drive in the Lexus that I do actually have (sorry if that stings, but it’s true), I will look at my Bachelor’s Degree and Graduate degree that I do actually have (sorry, true again), I will go to the bank to get money that I did actually make doing this site (true times 3), and I will come home to my immovable home.

All the while you will be stuck with Golden and the trailer. Luckily the State will surely remove your poor children from the squalor that you live in at some point, so at least they will have a shot at life.

And the only thing that’s wrong with the name Matthew is assholes like you making it look like it’s reserved for imbeciles. You should personally apologize to every other Matthew. I have seen your picture, Matthew — I’m not the least bit chicken shit of you.

Again, thanks for stopping by! Keep it up and I can trade my Lexus in for a Mercedes!


golden July 27, 2009 at 12:14 pm

awsome, so this becomes an, i have more stuff than you fight. way to go dude. and actually i did tell him what he was doing was the same as those demotivational posters that say, yay! you win the internet! who gives a fuck about what kind of stupid car you drive. for your information, we dont live in a trailor, or in squalor, and our children are well cared for. my husband is in the navy and does make quite a bit of money himself, just so you know, and he is in college working on a degree as well. maybe you have that expensive car to compensate for something your not so proud of? hmm i wonder what that could be?


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 12:27 pm

You apparently give a lot of fucks about what kind of car I have and what I do, since you have now spent 4 days on my site, posting over and over again.

And I have an expensive car because I CAN have an expensive car. But you can go back and giggle to your faulty-mommy site that I have a small wiener or something. That’d be a real hoot!!! YAY!!!!!


chanceh July 27, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Lemonjello I doubt you have even been to any type of college. I would like to inform you a TV repair school is not an college. Since you brought it up what “college” did you attend, year graduated, and your major? Oh just to let you in on a secret I don’t have a Lexus I wouldn’t own one. My 2008 Mercedes GL 450 is nice but I don’t need a ego boost so I drive my pos GMC because unlike someone I don’t need big shiney objects to make myself feel better.
All the talking you have done about what you have I am willing to say you live with your parents in a run down double wide barley able to make payments on what you “own” (if you are still making payments you don’t own the object). You are the one whom everyone is laughing at with your insecure bantering with starngers who really don’t care about you or anything you have to say. Do humanity a favor and please don’t repoduce.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Wow. An entirely new level of stupidity has descended upon Stupid Kid Names.

I know — I mean I REALLY know — that some of you are just torn to shreds that I am successful at this and really do get money to make fun of you and what you assholes name your kids. It must hurt like shit that you have to actually go to work and work hard every day, while I sit here and laugh. But no matter how mad you get, that doesn’t wipe the truth away. I do have a nice car, a 4 year degree and — are you ready for this — a doctorate as well!

Ouch. Yeah, it’s true, like it or not. Yet another barb in the side of, ummm…wait. What the FUCK is that name?!? Chanceh? What, did your Mom come up with your name by using the sound that the bloody coat hanger made as it hit the bricks in the alley?

Congrats on your car. Sounds like you wasted a lot of money if you don’t care about big shiny things and drive a different vehicle instead. Seems like the type of financial move that a failed abortion would make.

So long, Chanceh. I’m glad you “don’t care about me or anything I have to say” enough to keep visiting! And you have my word that I won’t “repoduce.” Hell, I don’t even know what that means.


chanceh July 27, 2009 at 7:05 pm

LMAO Chance is a nickname you are a real winner. I am wondering if you know the harrassment laws in your state?
As for my Benz it was a gift I was born into money and pretty well get to do anything I want lol.


chanceh July 27, 2009 at 7:12 pm

Wow after rereading this she can sue you for harrasment and aggravated verbal assult. Yea your not the only one here with a big degree lol.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 7:32 pm

lol…verbal assault, huh? Which statute of which state are you referring to?

I may not be the only one with a big degree — but I certainly am the only one around here with that big degree that knows the laws of my own state very, very well. You just proved that, slick!

Good luck with that lawsuit!


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Oh, and before you waste that filing fee, you can’t win a harassment suit when you come to MY fucking site and start shit with me, genius.

But hey — you’re rich, so file away!


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 7:39 pm

And finally, one more thing. Before you embarrass yourself in that attorney’s office, you may want to look up that “sue me for aggravated verbal assault ” thing one more time. Firstly, there’s no such thing as aggravated verbal assault. And secondly, even if there was, you don’t sue someone for it — you ask that they be prosecuted. Assault is a criminal charge, dick. You don’t sue people on crimes.

Christ. If you are going to pretend to be a lawyer or know the fucking laws, at least do a tad bit of research first.


Natalie July 28, 2009 at 7:39 am

Glad I’m not on the receiving end of this!
Back under my blanket I go…


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 28, 2009 at 7:41 am

Nah — you aren’t pretending to know shit that you have no idea about. They picked the wrong area of expertise to try to threaten me with!


Natalie July 28, 2009 at 8:14 am

The only area I might have the slightest bit of “expertise” in would be algebra.
Watch out!
I’ll sick a polynomial on you!


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 28, 2009 at 8:22 am

I will most likely find Polynomial as a little girl’s first name at some point in my little venture here.


Natalie July 28, 2009 at 8:24 am

…and her sisters “Monomial,” “Binomial,” and “Trinomial.”

In addition, I always thought “Cartesia” (as in Cartesian Coordinate System) sounded like a lovely name as well.

(You know I’m kidding, right?)


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 28, 2009 at 8:28 am

Of course — but I bet you half of the people watching are writing that shit down for future kids (although they would never admit it).


Yurik Hunt May 8, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Jeez, they named their kids “Cross” and “Blaze.” Sounds kind of Klannish to me.


Golden December 9, 2010 at 2:12 am

Well actually when I was running names by the ladies on the name board I used to go to, they mentioned the whole “burning crosses” thing and how it might be offensive to religious people. I really could care less if it is offensive to them. They do lots to offend me, so why not give some back?
By the way, I know you will resume with the bashing, Lemonjello. Go ahead. It doesn’t really bother me. I’m just here to look at the dumb names you have found.
Oh and I forget if I mentioned last time I was on, here’s a tidbit for you. My middle name sucks too. It’s KLinn. Yep, both K and L are capitalized. Guess how it’s pronounced? Kay-Linn. My mom says she did it that way because she was naming me after my aunts (Marla Goldie, Shirley Kay and Drath-yes, like I said, it’s a family name- Linn. My aunt Shirley told her she couldn’t use her middle name for my name, so my mom thought she could still just use the letter K and get away with it. Sucky all around. No one ever gets it right, they always rhyme it with quin or glen or some shit. Oh well. Happy bashing.


Golden December 9, 2010 at 2:14 am

Damn it

*) after Linn.


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 9, 2010 at 7:38 am

No one ever gets it right? I’m astonished!

Yeah, I agree with you on the religious people thing, Golden. Fuck them – they’re annoying. There’s only one small problem – burning crosses probably isn’t as offensive to “religious people” as it is to, ummm…say….African Americans maybe?!?! After all, they are the ones who had to endure (and where you live, probably still have to endure) racists burning crosses on their front lawns.


Golden December 9, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Well I live in VA, and if you have been here (this is not racist btw!) Most of the people I see are african american. Certainly they aren’t burning crosses on their friend’s and family’s front lawns?
I’m not too familiar with the practices of the KKK so I don’t even know how burning a cross would be offensive to a black person. Enlighten me?
I can definitely see how religious nuts would get their panties in a wad over it though, and I don’t care if they do.
Oh and as I mentioned before in some other post somewhere on here, I was right about most kids in school these days having all kinds of crazy names. My daughter has several in her class with weird names.
Qu’Ran, Shamya, Keavan, Camren for a girl, and a bunch of others I cant remember.
Oh and just so you know, I did in fact post here a couple of times, but did not use my name since I knew you would automatically see that and disregard anything I said and commence with the bashing. So yeah, Grace was me, and meh. Call me crazy now, I don’t care.


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 9, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Golden, you sneaky rat, you! Well, I must admit, I’m not surprised. You are one of those people who will tell someone to their face that their kid’s name is cute, but then talk shit about them behind their back – so disguising your identity to make fun of names that aren’t half as ridiculous as your grandmother’s doesn’t shock me.

I looked up the demographics of Virginia, and I’m sure this will come as no surprise to anyone – but you are completely wrong. Not only are most of the people NOT black, a whopping 75% of them are white! Surprise!! In fact, with a very simple Google search, I found instances of cross burning in Virginia dating back to 1925. You need to crack a book every now and then Goldie!

And yes – I would be happy to enlighten you as to why burning crosses on a black person’s lawn would be offensive to him or her. I’m totally going out on a limb here, but I think the reason that burning crosses on a black person’s lawn is offensive is BECAUSE IT’S DONE BY THE FUCKING KKK! Everything they do is offensive – and especially to black people. I think that’s pretty much the reason they exist, Goldie!

Good to have you back, though. It really is. Did you dump that maniac husband of yours yet? He was quite a card, huh?


Golden December 9, 2010 at 4:53 pm

I really didn’t know why they did that, seriously. I understand that it is the KKK and they are horrible, but it really doesn’t make sense to me. What does burning a cross have to do with black people? I just think it would make more sense to burn it on some religious person’s lawn. Maybe they are just dumb, or I just don’t care to look that stuff up. Oh well.
Yes, I am surprised by that demographic, so it must just be the particular area I am in.
Nope, if I think someone is picking out a dumb name, I will tell them. I probably wouldnt be as blunt as you, but I would still say they should pick something else. That probably makes me a hypocrite, considering my own kid’s names, but oh well.
No I didn’t dump him, he was just taking up for me. You would probably do the same if someone was calling your wife all sorts of shit. I didn’t expect everyone to jump on you, I sure as hell didn’t ask them to. They just did.
The only reason I was being sneaky is because you were being a dick and I just wanted to look at names without being ridiculed for my own dumb name, and for the names of my kids that you think are dumb.
Oh and you’ll have to come up with something better than Goldie, that one is long over done. If you need a list of the rest that are overdone feel free to ask. I’d love to see something new for once.


Golden December 9, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Oh and I wasn’t stalking your site like you seem to think I was, I think I have only been back once, back when I was posting as Grace, and then just yesterday because I got bored and remembered this site.


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 9, 2010 at 5:01 pm

It’s okay, Goldie – I like having you around. You’re more than welcome to stop on by any time! Bring your friends too – they don’t bother me. In fact – they’re the reason I have this site in the first place, since they are the ones crapping out names and smearing them all over their children.

Speaking of names – have you come up with any new kids or names for future kids since you last visited? Have you had any little additions to the family – maybe a bouncing little Shargrath or a bundle of Neveah?


Golden December 9, 2010 at 6:04 pm

I did have one more child. Orion. You will think that is a dumb name for sure, oh well. It is actually fairly common, but not too common. I did want to find something else, but my husband had his mind set on it. So I didn’t get to since we were supposed to “compromise.” If he was a girl he would have been Ayla ( like Kayla without the K) after a favorite character in my favorite book series. It is also fairly common, but not so common as to be repeated in every class like Emma would be. You could add Wynter to your list. We had that one in mind a long time ago, except spelled correctly. I saw that one a lot on the baby name boards.

Here is a name I just saw on someone’s facebook page. Paytyn.
Just curious, what names do you think are the good ones? It must have been extremely hard to name your kids, given your dislike of almost anything lol. Well, unless of course, you went with one of the top ten or some such.

I despise Neveah probably as much as you do.


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 10, 2010 at 8:36 am

I do, in fact, think Orion is a dumb name, but the good news is that it’s not on my list…yet. Orion IS a great song, however (if you like Metallica).

Once again, I did a little research on your claims of the popularity of Orion and Ayla and once again…drum roll…you’re dead wrong. Have you ever seen Google? It’s a really neat search device that allows you to check your “facts.” It’s wonderful – you ought to check it out.

Anyway – statistics show that one in every 63,837 Americans is named Orion. That’s just over 15 people PER MILLION. To put that in perspective for you, you could FILL the Oakland Coliseum to capacity with random men and, statistically speaking, NONE of them would be named Orion. Therefore, unless you live in ancient Greece or on Ursa Major, it’s not “fairly common” at all. Not even close.

As for Ayla, it’s even less common. Far less common. One in every 702,203 females in the U.S. has this name. That’s just over ONE IN A MILLION!! Right this minute, in all of the United States, there are fewer than 450 people named Ayla. And I assume you didn’t know this, but the population of America is over 300 million. That’s 450 people out of 300 MILLION that have the name Ayla. Ayala is INCREDIBLY uncommon – and for good reason. It’s ridiculous.

You think I had a hard time naming MY kids? My kids’ names are rational, non-freak sounding names (bot no, they are not in the top ten). My kids were named before they were conceived.

You, on the other hand, spent countless hours on baby naming boards, bouncing ideas off of people, asking if the name sounded “right”, pairing it with perfect sounding middle names, having “clicky polls”, complaining about how your “DH” doesn’t like your ideas — and THEN you named them. Sounds to me like you went the extremely hard route, not me.


Golden December 10, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Oh really? I personally know two Orion’s plus my son, so I suppose I just got lucky in meeting 2 since it is such a rare name. Why exactly are these (not just mine) names ridiculous to you? Besides the fact that you think they are shit, what is a really good reason? I’m sure little Qu’Ran, Shamyah etc.. will be made fun of before my kids with names that happen to be uncommon. Aside from Qu’Ran which isn’t made up but instead the name of an evil holy book (much like the rest of the holy books) the rest of those names I’ve been giving you are completely made up.
I am aware of the population of this country. You should really do better than ad hominem attacks. Is there a real reason why you think the names are stupid? Or is it just that they don’t fit your tastes?
I assure you, my kids and every one else’s will be made fun of for far more than just their names. Kids pick all sorts of dumb things to harass each other about.
You’re right, I have never met an Ayla in person, so it is rare. I have however seen lots of them online when I was looking for how common the name was. There are sites that say “Is your name Ayla, tell us how you like it” and I sat there reading at least 200 comments from people either named Ayla, or who named their child that. So to me it did not seem very rare at the time. When looking up my son’s name, Cross, I found not one thing name wise, so that, I assumed, was definitely rare.
The only names I went to the boards for were my last two kids and the last one was only to get a feel of how people would treat someone named Orion. People don’t go to those sites because they want to be told how great their name ideas are, or at least I didn’t. I went to see how the name would be received by others. If it was rejected a lot I would probably not use it since that is probably what would happen to him in real life. I didn’t want to stick my kid with a name that everyone thought was stupid because that would lead to him being made fun of more often. I figured if it was a well liked name, but not very common, then he would be fine. With my third child I went to the boards because my husband wanted to name a girl Winter Rain and I thought it was just asking to be made fun of. So I wanted other people to tell me I was right so I could tell him and hope he would change his mind. He didn’t though.
you can attack me personally all you want. I really and honestly do not care what you think of me or the names I chose. I just came back here because I was bored and this site is (even if it was started by an ass) entertaining.
You should really stop assuming things about a person you do not even know. Oh and as for your kids, their names are “non freak” sounding, TO YOU. Everyone has an opinion on what they think is a good or bad name and everyone has their own personal tastes. So to me, Emily is a dumb name because it is way over used. To you, it is probably a good name because apparently uncommon names are freak names, and common ones are not.
What names do you feel are “non freak?”
I guarantee you someone with just as much a rational brain as you have, will think whatever you choose is stupid.
I completely agree with you about not saddling a child with a stupid name like DaRionTray’vian. Uncommon names, though, are not stupid. Well, some probably are, but not all of them. Ok I think I’ve rattled on long enough. If you want more names to add to your list, and can get over your hatred of me and my names, I’d be happy to help. I’m sure you’re salivating at the thought of throwing more insults my way though.


Blow-Hole May 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Let me make this clear for all the so called “mouth-breathers” that for some unintelligible reason keep defending the fucking STUPID name Golden. Its extremely stupid and totally and COMPLETELY unoriginal. Get a life people who’s name is “Golden”.


Kay January 5, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Cross, Blaze, Orion? AND your girl’s name is Jenna? What do you have against your sons? btw, this entire conversation made my day…


Michelle January 12, 2012 at 11:56 am

bahahaha….that is all


MercedesLisette January 22, 2012 at 8:11 am

Golden? I know some adjectives are names, but this doesn’t sound like a name. And the ‘den’ suffix makes me think Aiden Hayden Cayden/Kayden Jayden Brayden Grayden Rayden Zayden Tayden Xayden Shayden Payden WTF-ayden. All of which are (to relatively sane parents) masculine.


Captain Obvious February 23, 2012 at 1:14 am

I love all the trolling that goes on here. Most of these names ARE stupid and someone with a fully functional brain would NOT name their child something so horrendous.


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