Ariela

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 23, 2009

Damn close to areola, which is a nipple.  Of course, most of us knew that.  Once again, the tiniest bit of research can save your kid a lifetime of shit.

I got this off of one of the parenting message boards again.  Someone mentioned this site on there, and I have since been inundated by hordes of angry Moms that have or want kids with shitty names.  That’s okay — welcome to Stupid Kid Names, ladies!  I welcome your insightful and comical input.

A couple of answers to you lovely ladies’ questions (since you are apparently too chicken shit to ask on here and instead crawled back to your little bad name sanctuary to talk about me):

1)  No — I am not the lady that posted about this site on your site.  In fact, I am not a lady at all.  That should be obvious from my posts.

2)  I do not have a shitty name.  It is quite common, actually.  I am not angry about my name.  In fact, I am pleased that my parents were not fools like you arrogant women that sit around all day, eating bon bons and patting each other on the back about what an original name you came up with.

(Note:  When I say “you arrogant women”, I am not talking about women in general.  The vast majority of women are very smart and would not do shit like this to a kid.  I am just talking about the ladies that sit around on these message boards all day and ask each other about the names they’ve made up or dug up).

Enjoy the site!  Maybe you can look back into the archives and get some good ideas for things to name your next kid!  But be sure to take it to the hen house and run it by the other message board ladies – -you wouldn’t want to make any decisions on your own!

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelli July 23, 2009 at 9:26 am

Just a different spelling of the Latin name Aurelia, meaning gold. Again, more bashing from someone with a “common” name.

And personally if you don’t like the message board where people go for support, opinions and ideas…STAY AWAY. Seems to me you are a troll who reads posts and then decided to create your own bogus site where you could bash them. You are pathetic. Atleast us “arrogant” women aren’t being as ridiculous as you!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 9:37 am

Support? Why do you need support to name your kid? Are you going to run to the message board when you need to know whether or not to discipline your kid too? Oh wait — of course you are. Just like the lady on there who wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for her husband to fucking SPANK their child just because she wakes up in the middle of the night. Friend of yours?

And you keep saying “bogus site”…are you referring to THIS site? The one that you have been posting on for the past 2 hours?

I should stay away from those message boards because idiots like you make me so fucking angry — I really should. But as long as you fools keep churning out these ridiculous so-called “names”, I will be lurking, waiting to out you.

In the end though, you’re right. You aren’t being “as ridiculous” as I am. You’re being so much more ridiculous. At least what I am doing is not directly fucking with the life of an innocent child.

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Ummm July 23, 2009 at 10:30 am

Please, come to our board and leave your opinions there! It seems to me you have nothing better to do than hang out on a this website all day making fun of other people, incredibly juvenile (and I’m only here because my daughter is napping, just in case you were going to point out how I am on message boards all day or something)… But stop over anyway if you get a free second from your hobby here, we’d love to give you a proper welcome.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 10:43 am

Hobby? Shit — people like you visiting makes this a job! Thanks for that, though — maybe I will someday run into your offspring and give him or her all the money I make on this site — you know, as reparations for having a stupid Mom that named him something shitty like Wellington or Thor.

I may stop on by “your board” (wherever that is) and chat a bit when I get some free time. It may be a while, though — you freaks are keeping me busy with all of your Sailers and Keegans. But again, thanks for that — my normally named kids have to eat.

Oh, and one last thing — if I do get a chance to stop by, will I be welcomed if I don’t have a clever kid’s name made up for you to fawn over? I wouldn’t want to feel inadequate. Would Brevane be a good one? Oh wait — how about Jagsdhalia? Traxleigh? Oh, shoot….I’m just not good at it like you clever wits!

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Kelli July 23, 2009 at 6:29 pm

You have been to the site…you lurk there already. These names came straight from the parents.com message board, which is even mentioned while bashing a different name.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm

This is true, I have been there. I’m afraid to post there though — either the evil meanies with the silly naming capabilities will get me, or the stupidity will drive me to suicide.

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Josephine Lawson July 24, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Wow, why are you such a dick? You talk about how these “arrogant women” sit around all day on message boards asking each others opinions on a name they like, when all you do is go to these sites to look up these so called “stupid names” and come back here to piss and moan about how much you dont like them. And you probably think you’re so clever for making such an innocent name perverted! Oh and by the way everybody knows that an areola is the area AROUND the nipple NOT the nipple itself!!!

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 25, 2009 at 8:22 am

Welcome, Josephine Lawson! You are correct — the areola is the area around the nipple. That makes this name bulletproof, as no kid could possibly connect the area around the nipple with the nipple itself. Huzzah for you!

And you’re wrong — I do not spend all day looking for stupid names. I spend half of it looking at porn.

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golden July 25, 2009 at 10:58 am

ooh what a great guy! likes to make fun of baby names while getting his jollies off.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm

You are like an infected boil, Golden.

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Captain Obvious February 26, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I find this very amusing. Stop coming up with SHIT names, and maybe this wouldn’t happen. Catch my drift?

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LT March 26, 2014 at 9:38 am

I like your site, but this name doesn’t particularly need to be here. Ariella’s a common and pretty Israeli name, which literally means “lion of God’. Come on, that’s pretty badass.

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