by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 22, 2009

Although this name was not actually used on a real kid where I saw it (yet) , this is classic parenting/baby name message forum shit.  This young lady was struggling to find a name for her kid.  Instead of spending some time to consider the possibilities on her own and with her husband, she decided to ask a bunch of strangers on a message board.  Her post is classic.

She starts with the headline, “I need a girls name that hardly anyone has.” Really?  Why?  Why do you NEED that?  Because you can’t stand to think that you are as common as you really are, so by naming your kid some outlandish bullshit you will feel better about yourself?  You NEED that, do you?

She continues, “I already have a five year old boy.  I always wanted to name my first son Alexander but his dad’s name is Diogenes.  It is a custom to name your son a name that is similar, if not, to his dad’s name.  I compromised and named my son Dioxander. “

(Note:  I am intentionally ignoring the fact that the paragraph makes little sense and is riddled with errors — why pile on any more than I already am?)

Great.  Excellent compromise.  Instead of stepping back to see what an incredibly ridiculous sounding name this is, you just barrel right past that unimportant detail and name him this shit so Mommy and Daddy can both feel good about themselves.

And the kicker – “I don’t know what I am having yet, but I am looking for a girls name that is unique.  I like rozemaree and kareena but they are too common.”

Oh really?  Man, I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard someone call out, “Kareena!  Dinner time!”  Or for every time I pick up the newspaper and read about another one of those Rozemaree gals.

Jesus…if these are too common, I can’t bear to think of what you will actually come up with.  Znarflask?  Gre-18ist?  Bbbbrrrtyht?

Unreal.  I guess in hindsight it doesn’t matter what she names any of them — no kid has much of a chance  at becoming anything with parents like these.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelli July 23, 2009 at 8:27 am

It’s an alternate spelling of the name Corinna, another legitimate name…Greek, meaning maiden.
People tend to try and come up with trendy/different spellings. Although sometimes people come up with bogus spellings, I do NOT think Kareena is “outstandish”!


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 8:28 am

I don’t think it’s “outstandish” either. In fact — I have never even heard that word.


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