by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 22, 2009

I just found this turd, and a fitting story to go along with it.  This time Mom & Dad aren’t arrogant.  They aren’t trying to be unusual.  They aren’t even trying ot stay away from the names they consider “common.”  They are just dumb.  Extremely fucking dumb.

You see, instead of putting some thought into what their little girl would be called for the rest of her life — what she would be referred to by everyone she ever meets for her entire fucking life — they decided to ask her 3 year old brother what she should be named.  They let a fucking THREE YEAR OLD name their kid!  He barfed out Drath, as any 3 year old might, and that’s what they named her.  I shit you not.

Possibly the most astounding naming story I have ever heard.  Easily the most idiotic parents I have ever heard of.

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelli July 23, 2009 at 8:30 am

Not something I would choose, and a possibility that he/she may get made fun of…but to each thier own. Some people are eccentric when naming and some are boring. Personality does NOT make someone “fucking stupid”.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 8:32 am

No — but allowing a fucking 3 year old to name your kid does.


golden July 23, 2009 at 11:06 am

well ill have you know that the name isnt stupid. it sounds like drake which is a fairly common name. you sir are a moron, and making fun of people just shows what an idiot you are.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 11:12 am

Thank you for making me realize that I am a moron. That means a lot coming from someone with such a mastery of English grammar skills.

And it only sounds like Drake when a fucking 3 year old says it. There’s not even a “k” in it!! Point me anywhere — and I mean ANYwhere — besides this toddler-constructed name, where a “th” can make a “k” sound.

Is your real name Golden? You seem like more of a Bronze to me — possibly even a Copper.


golden July 24, 2009 at 1:41 pm

oh you’re so funny! hahahaha… not. yes that is my real name. and i have no problem with it. as for grammar skills, you’re one to talk, with all the messed up bullcrap you put on this site. how about you learn to spell, or at least use spell check. you’re still an idiot and a moron. oh and its nice to know you like to make fun of someones dead grandmother. way to go dude, you’re a real catch im sure.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 25, 2009 at 8:16 am

Oh, I didn’t know she was dead. I’m sorry. Drath is now a fantastic name. That makes everything better.

Jesus…I’m beginning to think you’re just one of my friends fucking around with me. No one can really be this stupid.


golden July 25, 2009 at 11:00 am

nope, i wouldnt want to be friends with an ass like you. sorry. id like to see you talk your trash on the actual site you make fun of. that would be fun to watch.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 26, 2009 at 3:18 pm

So you awful people can call me “poopy” and “doodie head” and then giggle about it to each other before setting up your play dates? No thanks. I can’t stand to go over there and read threads like, “Is it okay to feed little Cranston mercury before bed?


Eva February 28, 2010 at 4:04 pm

I just want to say…..GOD BLESS YOU LEMONJELLO!!!! this site is everything i’ve been telling my friends that wish to reproduce for years!!!! This is why my husband and I are waiting to have children; we don’t want our kids polluted with lil kindergartener playmate douche-bags named Cranston Mercury, or Audio Science. I am joining this fight to end the “unique” naming madness. oh yeah….Lemonjello, you may want to visit this site: stuffblackpeoplehate.com. It’s written by a black man and he blogs about ridiculous names and such….it’s a good read.


Lemonjello Redenbacher February 28, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Welcome home, Eva…welcome home. And tell all of your friends!

We actually know of that site very well, and I think my brother, Orangello, even mentions it in the “about us” section of our site (I’m too lazy to check that fact right now).


Eva March 15, 2010 at 12:47 am

Thank you! I feel at home. I’m here to help stop the madness too….I’m the friend that isn’t too scared to tell all my pre-parent friends that they have made up vomit for their kid’s names.


Matt December 26, 2013 at 8:05 pm

My parents actually allowed my 3 year old step brother to chose a name once but it was Dewey, a halfway normal name and it was for a PET DOG!!! Those parents should be shot.


LT April 1, 2014 at 8:34 pm

I know a small child who really wanted to name his baby brother Mickey Mouse. (His parents did not name the child Mickey Mouse.)


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