by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 22, 2009

REALLY?!?!?  You have GOT to be kidding me!

This may not be the worst name I have ever heard, but I think it’s the most ridiculous.  What — did Mommy get knocked up by the islander that played the steel drums in the honeymoon resort band?

Good lord — now we’re just picking random words that make our mouths feel funny and tingly when we say them?  What’s next…Zipper?  Sparkler?  Glitterbug?

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelli July 23, 2009 at 8:42 am

Not my style…but legitimate! It’s greek, meaning she who hides. Could have cute nick names like Callie or Lyssa. It’s not the worst name by far.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 8:47 am

So…it’s Greek for “she who hides”, huh? Then I assume you think “Peek-a-boo” is a legitimate name too?

And please enlighten me — what IS the worst name? I can’t wait to hear this. And don’t say Lemonjello — I made that shit up just like Calypso’s mom did.


Artemis January 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm

When I was in grade 8 I had two pet rats named Penelope and Calypso (I was obsessed with Greek mythology then). While Penelope can still work as a people name, Calypso is (in my mind) best left to your cute pet, not your child.


Ayana April 1, 2011 at 1:53 am

Calypso goes hand and hand with Aphrodite, Apollo and Zeus. It’s not made up, this is just a case of parents thinking it’s cool to name their kids after Greek gods unlike normal people who reserve that kind of shit for Greek people and their pets.


Lol April 30, 2011 at 12:19 pm

There’s some kind of boat ride called the Calypso Crossing. XD


Priya April 30, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Aw… I LOVE that name!!


Xenerick November 19, 2013 at 1:02 am

It reminds me of lemonade. Really good lemonade.


Calypso December 9, 2014 at 9:34 pm

Calypso, according to Greek Mythology, which I am majoring in at Yale University, (just so you know I am a reliable source), is a daughter of Atlas, a titan. In the Gods vs. Titan war, Calypso supported her father, a titan. When the titans lost, and the Gods won, all who supported the Titans were severely punished. Calypso was forced to live, immortally, on a lost island. Whenever the fates choose, they send a hero to live with Calypso. Usually, they are coming from war, so they are sick or injured. As Calypso nurses them to health, she can’t help but fall in love with each and every one of them. That is the second part of the curse. The third part of the curse is the worst: The hero always leaves her, breaking her heart. She is forced to live on the island for all eternity. Calypso music, tropical, sunny, island music is NAMED AFTER HER!!!! Personally, being a Greek and Roman mythology buff, I like the name Calypso, and many other Greek names. I believe that just because a name is old and forgotten, it is not stupid. Names on this website should only be truly stupid, as in words that were turned into names. Words that should NEVER be names. EVER. Long story long, please remember to actually RESEARCH the names you are planning to make fun of.


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 10, 2014 at 7:44 am


What – Harvard didn’t return your calls?


Calypso December 12, 2014 at 11:24 pm

Harvard and Yale are both great schools. Harvard and Yale are also very different schools. I never even applied to Harvard. Harvard is a great law school, as you probably know. I have no plans of ever becoming a lawyer, court justice, or anything of the sort. Yale is a good choice for history and music theory majors, like myself. My second choice was Princeton, which has a famous science program, and an albeit less than entirely adequate music theory program. Anyone who thinks that Yale students have less than adequate chances of getting into Harvard are complete mouth breathers. Comparing the two schools is like comparing apples and oranges. I cannot stress it enough.
Another fault within your reply was that you have the impression that I believe everything I say is true. By citing my education, one could make a logical guess about the validity of my statement. That logical guess may be “Well, because she studied this, I now know that she isn’t just making up shit.” And I’m not. The only reason I said I was majoring in Ancient Mythology is so you can understand my motive for defending the name Calypso, and, again, to reassure you that I’m not just creating this story.
And I do not mean to get all “Greater than thou” on you, but I really don’t mean to give the impression that everything I say is true. The story of Calypso is true, and that’s all the truth I wanted you to hear from me. Granted, I can’t be completely sure all the information and “big words” saturated your incredibly thick skull.


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 15, 2014 at 11:22 am

In the end, nothing you have said convinces me (or likely many others) that Calypso isn’t a stupid fucking thing to name your kid. Good thing you’re not studying to be a lawyer.


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