by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 9, 2009

All names beginning with the letter “Z” are shit.

Sure, there are a few exceptions to the rule, like Zachary and ummm, and…ummm, well, like Zachary.  But that pretty much sums up the acceptable “Z” names.

If you have the uncontrollable urge to name your kid something that starts with the letter Z, please follow this simple plan — Step 1:  Don’t fucking name your kid anything that starts with the letter Z.

See?  That was easy, boys and girls!

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Wa-Ta-Mel Angelou July 9, 2009 at 9:17 pm

My cousin Zeke from Alabama wants to have a word with you about the whole names starting with Z thing.

That word will likely be daggnabbit.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 10, 2009 at 6:22 am

Zeke is a nickname, short for Ezekiel. Zeke is shit too, though.


Gabriella July 22, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Hey. My friend just named her baby Zane. What do you think about that? I think it’s okay.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Well, Gabriella — I would say that Zane is much better than Zayna, that’s for sure. It’s not made up — I have heard it on a few occasions (like the author Zane Grey).

She could have done much better, but she could have done FAR worse too.

How’s that for a middle of the road answer? ;)


Orangejello Jenkins July 22, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Personally, I’m OK with Zane. It’s an old, established, storied name. I mean, if you’re gonna go with a Z name, Zane’s your huckleberry.


Gabriella July 23, 2009 at 4:20 am

Thanks for the input. I didn’t think it was that bad either.


Christina September 3, 2009 at 11:02 pm

I hate my name because it’s too normal. So my daughter’s name is Zaya-Lynn. (It was only supposed to be Zaya and it is pronounced just like it spelled or ZAY-AH) But I do have so many people who say ZI-AH)

I would never consider Zayna it reminds me of my sister Dayna (ew) and my daughter Zaya!

PS for the record I was only 12 when I “made up” the name Zaya (I found out when I was older that it is infact a last name, and also a first name in Australia or something.)


Lemonjello Redenbacher September 4, 2009 at 6:40 am

You hate your own name because it’s too normal? So change your own fucking name — don’t fuck your kid’s up!

But I guess it’s too late for your poor child. Hell, it was too late for her when you made her shit up playing hop scotch in your youth. Hopefully, though, your tale will ring out loud as a tale of caution for other feeble-minded women that get themselves knocked up.


hunter February 11, 2010 at 1:36 am

I know someone who named her little girl zhanay.


Yasmin January 5, 2011 at 2:56 am

Do you like the name Zoe? that’s my cousins name. Or Zara? Which is a pretty common name.


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 5, 2011 at 10:27 am

Personally, no – but it’s borderline acceptable. Zoe that is – Zara is awful.


H September 30, 2011 at 5:49 pm

You think of the letter Z the same way I think of the letter T. I think any name beginning with the letter T is awful, except for the well respected Thomas.


K November 9, 2011 at 8:48 pm

I’d think you’d do a little research if you’re going to have a blog dedicated to kids’ names.

“I would say that Zane is much better than Zayna, that’s for sure. It’s not made up — I have heard it on a few occasions (like the author Zane Grey).”

Zane is the “made up” name. Zane was his middle name given to him because it was his mother’s surname. And Zayna is a common, traditional Arabic name and not made up at all.

Facts. Get ‘em.


Lemonjello Redenbacher November 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Ok – I will give you that. But how in the FUCK does it make Zayna any less shitty? It doesn’t.

Taste. Get some.


K April 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Zayn and Zayna are the same name. They are the male and female versions of the same Arabic name. “Zane” is the Americanized version of Zayn.

Facts are facts. Taste is subjective.


Lemonjello Redenbacher April 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

All three of those names are total shit. Fact.


none of your busss August 1, 2013 at 2:04 am

Stfu Bitch ! I Bet Your Name Is Shitty As Fuuccck .


Lemonjello Redenbacher August 1, 2013 at 7:28 am

Wait – you are telling me to get the fuck out of my own site? Sounds like something a Zayna would do…


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