Carbon

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 6, 2009

Unreal.

This piece of shit is most certainly the result of  his parents being wrapped up in the global warming phenomenon.  Why else would you name your kid after a nonmetallic and tetravalent chemical element?

Look — it’s one thing to have a hard-on for a cause.  Personally, I like dogs and think that adopting a rescue dog is one hell of a cool thing to do.  But Jesus — I don’t name my fucking kid Canine or Rin-Tin-Tin.  Keep your hobbies separate from what you name your kids.

If this kid’s middle name is Footprint, I hope he disowns his parents as soon is he is old enough, leaving them to die sad and full of regret.  And if it isn’t — I hope he does exactly the same thing — after he kicks the shit out of them.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous May 20, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I named my dog “Carbon” but she’s all black with a diamond shaped white spot on her chest…and I’m a chemist. Even with all that I get weird looks (which I probably deserve) but for a kid…Really?

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Prism December 1, 2012 at 4:04 pm

“hi what’s your name?”

>”Carbon.”

“O.o C..Carbon?”

>”Yes sir, Carbon Footprint”

“*commits suicide*”

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