Brick

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on July 6, 2009

Ahhh…the fail proof name, right?  How could you go wrong with a powerful boy’s name like Brick?  Your boy is gonna be strong and confident and reliable!  Strong as a brick, he’ll be!

Yeah — unless he isn’t.  Then he’s going to be mincemeat.  If you have a name like Brick, you can bet your ass you are going to be challenged to a fight.  And another and another and another.

Possibly worse yet is if you turn out to be an awkwardly skinny or overly plump guy.  Then the name looks even more ridiculous on you that it would on someone of normal size or a big, strong guy.

The only reason to name a kid Brick is because you have your own inadequacies and you want so badly for your son to grow up strong and tough.  Remember — it’s not about you, asshole.  You didn’t hit the big home run in high school.  Get over it.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Natalie July 25, 2009 at 9:50 am

What about “Brock?”

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Lemonjello Redenbacher July 26, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Hmmm…let me think about it. I hate the name, and it rhymes with cock, but someone may be able to pull it off.

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Natalie July 26, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Brock Lesnar seems to have found a job worthy of the name.

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Orangejello. March 7, 2010 at 12:19 pm

He’s a brick…house…

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Artemis February 4, 2011 at 9:19 pm

All I can think of is Steve Carell’s character from Anchorman (aka the retarted weatherman)

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Herdy-durr April 8, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Next up: Mortar, Concrete, Chrome Steel, and Mahogany Finish.

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bahahahahaha! November 1, 2012 at 8:30 am

brick? for real? what about myparentshateme aka “brick” always better if your “also known as” something stupid that way you can possibly get away with letting others think its your nickname not actually an act of child abuse you suffered since birth…. poor baby brick …child services should monitor these things

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Anna V December 18, 2012 at 9:53 am

My friend had a pitbull named Brick…

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