Oaklee

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 29, 2009

Reminder — I didn’t make any of this shit up.

This is one of the more “out there” names I have stumbled on thus far.  I think I saw the name “Oakley” once, but that could have been on a pair of fucking sunglasses where it belonged.  Oaklee, on the other hand?  Not sure this sort of tragedy has ever occurred before.

I would have bet $100 that this was a name these people invented for a boy. Turns out, I would have been wrong.  Of course, people that do shit like this are about as predictable as Kim Jong Il on angel dust.  Oaklee is, in fact, a poor little girl.

I am positive that Mom was inundated with compliments of  how “beautiful” this name is.  Guess what, Mom?  Your friends are all liars.  They don’t believe this — but what the fuck else can you say to someone who drops a bomb on you like, “This is my little baby girl.  Her name is Oaklee!”

I’ll tell you what else you can say.  You can say, “Fuck you.  Fuck you for naming your poor little child such a shitty thing.  I hope you rot in the deepest part of Hell.”

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Austin Kendall August 14, 2011 at 11:13 am

Annee Oaklee would make more sense.

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Katie September 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Actually, Carey Oaklee would make sense, too!

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Catherine September 25, 2011 at 3:27 pm

My friends dog is named Oakley, which says enough itself.

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don' do it February 15, 2013 at 10:45 am

I heard the name Oakley Jo for a girl.

Makes me think of Ugly Jo or the cheap chamo from KMart.

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