Johnythen

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 29, 2009

What is there to say about a alphabetical debacle like this?  God damn — this has to be the single worst butchering of a classic name that I’ve ever seen.

The assholes that did this are possibly worst type of all.  I hate people that name thier kids off the wall, shitty names, but I do have to give them a sliver of credit for being ballsy (and don’t get me wrong — that credit is far outweighed by the damage it will do to the kid).  Pussies like this want to go “out on a limb,” but can’t quite work up the gumption to do so — so they give their kid a name that sounds like a traditional name, but is spelled like a bag full of dicks.

Johnythen will be fine as long as no one ever SEES his name.   If they do…he’s in for a long life.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Brittany August 4, 2009 at 12:14 am

You must have a real shitty name if you have to go by lemonjello. Lemon is the worst flavor of all.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher August 4, 2009 at 6:41 am

Yep. My real name is Brittany.

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Artemis February 6, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Maybe the parents had no idea what to name their kid, so they said, “Alright, we’ll name him Johnny, then…” and it just grew from there?

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Katie July 9, 2011 at 5:30 pm

I’m supposing this is some ‘cutesy’ variation of Jonathan? What’s wrong with Jonathan? Not enough ‘y’s for their liking, I suppose.

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Bitchy January 5, 2012 at 10:35 am

“A bag full of dicks.” Jesus christ, I’m laughing so hard I can hardly ask the most important question of all…will you marry me, you fucking genius?

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 5, 2012 at 10:43 am

I would – but if you think you’re Bitchy, wait until you see my wife when I come home married to another woman!

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