by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 29, 2009

What is there to say about a alphabetical debacle like this?  God damn — this has to be the single worst butchering of a classic name that I’ve ever seen.

The assholes that did this are possibly worst type of all.  I hate people that name thier kids off the wall, shitty names, but I do have to give them a sliver of credit for being ballsy (and don’t get me wrong — that credit is far outweighed by the damage it will do to the kid).  Pussies like this want to go “out on a limb,” but can’t quite work up the gumption to do so — so they give their kid a name that sounds like a traditional name, but is spelled like a bag full of dicks.

Johnythen will be fine as long as no one ever SEES his name.   If they do…he’s in for a long life.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Brittany August 4, 2009 at 12:14 am

You must have a real shitty name if you have to go by lemonjello. Lemon is the worst flavor of all.


Lemonjello Redenbacher August 4, 2009 at 6:41 am

Yep. My real name is Brittany.


Artemis February 6, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Maybe the parents had no idea what to name their kid, so they said, “Alright, we’ll name him Johnny, then…” and it just grew from there?


Katie July 9, 2011 at 5:30 pm

I’m supposing this is some ‘cutesy’ variation of Jonathan? What’s wrong with Jonathan? Not enough ‘y’s for their liking, I suppose.


Bitchy January 5, 2012 at 10:35 am

“A bag full of dicks.” Jesus christ, I’m laughing so hard I can hardly ask the most important question of all…will you marry me, you fucking genius?


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 5, 2012 at 10:43 am

I would – but if you think you’re Bitchy, wait until you see my wife when I come home married to another woman!


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