by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 24, 2009

…and tons of other fucked up spellings that this one can be found under.

This “one-sex-fits-all” pseudonym is popping up fairly often these days.  It must haved been on a soap opera, reality show, in People magazine or on Perez Hilton’s shitty blog.   Those are the places where people that name their kids shit like this spend all of their free time.

On a whim I searched for the meaning of this name.  Turns out it’s a mash-up of a couple of Irish names (surprise, surprise), and it means “battle.”  Let’s hope you are what you’re named in this case, because these little fuckers that get this one pinned on them are in for a lifetime of battles.

Here’s to you little Cadens of the world.  Mom and Dad fucked you up from the get go — let’s hope you’re strong enough to “battle” your way out of it.

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

golden July 23, 2009 at 12:36 pm

i doubt the kid will get made fun of, especially since there will be more caiden/cayden/caden/kaydyns in his class then there will be michaels, joshs, or davids. in fact i bet the kids with normal common names will be the ones getting made fun of.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 23, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Of course you think that — you named your kid Blaze! I fully expect sub-human reasoning from someone who does that.


Dante Hicks June 11, 2010 at 11:34 pm

I weep for the next generation.


Darcy January 10, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Wow, got anger problems? Pray tell, what does the God-Of-Naming think is an acceptable choice? Since you are obviously the most brilliant person in the history of the world, we lowly beings should all be required to come and consult you before the names we choose turn our children in to homicidal killers. So what do you like? I would guess that the only answer to that question is “bitching about crap.” :)


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 11, 2011 at 7:27 am

Welcome Darcy – mother of Cayden, Kayden, Caiden, Caydin or some other similarly named child. I do not know this “God-Of-Naming” – I do not believe in gods. I do, however, believe in common sense, something that you and a lot of other people are lacking.

So what do I like? Well, in your case, Cunt, Jr. sounds about right.


Ash February 5, 2011 at 11:47 pm

I like the name Caiden. It’s one of the three boys names that I can really tolerate. And I used it for my general-use fan-character’s brother. The name ACTUALLY means “companion”–(and it is based off of an Arabic name, and I am of Middle Eastern descent)–and since she’s usually the main character of a story, it’s good. However, despite of how pretty it is, if your child is a twin, it may work, if the other kid has a name of similar meaning.

If not one of the two reasons above, never use this name.
And don’t let your kid near a baby name site, for they’ll figure out what it means. Their self-esteem will be as low as their socks.


Lemonjello Redenbacher February 6, 2011 at 5:57 am

This is so incredibly bizarre that I can’t even poke fun at it.


Hi September 7, 2015 at 4:36 am

Your retarder go fuck your self


Lemonjello Redenbacher September 14, 2015 at 11:54 am

What about my retarder?


Ash March 22, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I mean, I’m not too big a fan of the name, but most boy names either remind me of some booger-eating asshole in third grade or sound like someone taking a shit, so….


Lemonjello Redenbacher March 22, 2011 at 2:58 pm

And what are boys’ names supposed to sound like – a unicorn shitting out rainbows in a four-leaf clover patch?


Alex July 4, 2011 at 7:56 pm

wait caeden is a pretty common and normal name you guys realize right? There were two guys in my grade named Caeden and I never thought it was a weird name, nor did I ever hear anyone ever say it was a strange name… Seriously what’s weird about this name?


KB July 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm

All of these are overused and just ridiculous at this point… just like Jaylen, Jayden, Ryley, Riley, Kaylah, Kaylee, blah blah blah blah blahhhh….


KB July 5, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Alex, it’s not that it’s “weird” – it’s that it’s just a variation of a name TONS of other parents use (Caden, Cayden, whatever) and they thought they’d be smart and unique by spelling it strangely for no other apparent reason… Wooo! Throw an ‘e’ in there and suddenly it’s “different”… except it’s not. These kinds of parents love to throw a random ‘e’ or ‘y’ in wherever they can!


Jenny January 1, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Ok, so it’s overused, I agree, but it’s stupid? No, it’s not. What “common sense” are you using exactly to say this name is “obviously” just plain awful? How would these kids go through a battle? There’s really hardly any good ways to make fun of this name and the worst problem they could have with the name is that it’s too common (but that’s better than “unique” any day).


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 7:54 am

“Ok, so it’s overused, I agree, but it’s stupid?”

Yes. Yes it is.


Jenny January 1, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Oh, and it’s not unisex. I know a girl named Michael but that name sure as hell isn’t unisex, so if you’ve heard a few girls get named Cayden (just like mother’s are using Ryan and Dylan as girl’s names too) and used your “common sense” to decide that makes it unisex, theyn you’re clearly an idiot.


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 7:53 am

Yes, I’m the idiot. I’m the one whose posts are riddled with misspellings. Oh no wait – that’s you. Nevermind.


Jenny January 2, 2012 at 2:58 pm

And I’m not the one who made a website about names when you clearly know nothing about them. And I’d only precheck my Internet comments if I were writing them to someone important, which I clearly am not.


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I love these kinds of responses. If I’m so unimportant, then why do you keep coming back to my site? This is 2 days in a row now, with tons of posts. Seems like you find it pretty important to me.


Jenny January 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I don’t find you important, I find you entertaining.


Lemonjello Redenbacher January 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Whew! I was starting to get nervous with responsibility!


KD February 19, 2012 at 11:40 pm

It’s not that it’s a weird name, it’s the fact that it’s one name and a million spellings. No one would ever spell a Kayden/Cayden/Kyden/Caden/etc.’s name correctly.


Kayden November 29, 2012 at 11:51 am

Dude. Not cool.

I’m awesome ¬w¬


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 11, 2012 at 9:13 am

I’m sure you are, Kayden. It’s your parents who aren’t.


Kayden December 8, 2013 at 1:32 am

Hey faggots my name is kayden an i am eager to get in fights and i always win because i learn from my mistakes and you do not i bet you got jumped by a group of kayden,caden,caydin,caidens out there so this was a big mistake


Lemonjello Redenbacher December 8, 2013 at 8:01 am

Somehow, I am not frightened by this.


Emily August 12, 2014 at 12:44 pm

Ahhh the names of white trash/yuppie hipster millenial children…


Cayden March 6, 2015 at 11:43 pm

It is not a weird name at all! I’m awesome and so are my parents. I love my name! I’ve never heard of Cayden being a weird name. Anyways, it is one of those names that you can be creative with! There will never be a correct way to spell it and there will never be a incorrect way to spell it


Leave a Comment

Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree

Previous post:

Next post: