by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 23, 2009

Whoa!  Score one for Daddy!  The creation of this name was probably in the exact same mold as the creation of all of these others — vanity — but I like to pretend that Mommy insisted on something unique, and when Daddy threw this out there as a joke she bit hook, line and sinker.  She had no idea that Daddy came up with it while reading a softcore titty magazine of the same name while he was taking a shit 5 minutes earlier.

This is not the most awful thing to name your son, but it makes the blog due to the fact that it is also the name of a very popular mens magazine.  Even if that wasn’t the impetus of how he got the name, it had to at least come into the discussion.  And when it did, even Mommy ignored the fact that her son may as well be named GQ, Details or Stuff.

I like the name Max just fine, and I am fairly certain that this is what he will be called 99% of the time.  But if the other kids get a whiff of his real name, he may have to pay his dues a little bit.  The good news is that a kid whose father had the rocks to name him after a smut rag is probably so full of inherited testosterone that he could kick the shit out of any and all comers.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Zeiti June 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

And the next bad error. Seems you should start reading some books and not only some magazines.. I’d suggest a book from Максим Горький (Maxim Gorki), a real unknown russian writer..
Maxim is btw. the short form of Максимович (Maximovich), a common though unhip name in Russia. And yes, the are sure no Americans with russian roots..


Lemonjello Redenbacher June 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Russian roots? I don’t give a fuck if Vladimir Putin shit out a kid in America – Maxim is a stupid name in this country. Period.


Михаил January 19, 2015 at 2:14 am

Oh, please…

There was a famous American Maxim first. Hiram Maxim, the inventor of the Maxim machine gun.

Gorky’s name is properly transliterated as Maksim, because such are the rules of transliteration. It is not a short form of anything and Maksimovich is not and has not ever been a given name in Russia. It is a patronymic, a middle name that is based on the name of the father, and it translates as “son of Maksim”. For some reason dumbass Americans can’t figure out that Russian names don’t actually ever end in “vich”.

Read up on things yourself before attempting to school others.


Anna December 26, 2011 at 5:08 am

But who cares about your country ? Probably the Maxims you know just make some money in your country and nothing more ! Ha ha ha !


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