Rylan

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 18, 2009

You just couldn’t just go with Ryan, could you?  You were so fucking close, then you thought you’d get cute.  Of course you didn’t take into consideration your ignorance and inability to have even the slightest hint of creativity, so you took a well established name and simply threw in a random consonant wherever you felt it belonged.   How original!

This is the kind of shit that happens when a gal gets knocked up and her suitor gets the hell out of Dodge.  It reeks of the absence of a male figure to stand up to his insane counterpart and refuse a name like this or, in the alternative, to sign a different name to the birth certificate while the unwitting mother is fucked up on pain meds, recovering from blasting little Rylan out of her ‘giney.

Sexist?  Possibly.  But the only kind of man that would allow this abortion of a name to be pinned on another male is, well…let’s just say that he’s not getting ANY woman knocked up.

And for those of you that like this name and say, “Awwww…but Rylan is a cute name.  It’s so original!”  Fuck you — not it’s not.  It’s Ryan with an L.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah January 4, 2012 at 10:09 pm

This one is getting really popular. Popular with the white trash trying to be unique.

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Sarah January 23, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I agree it’s trendy at the moment and commonly used by the more immature because of that, but it’s actually an old fashion name and not everyone uses it because they’re trying to be “unique”, some people just like it or it’s a family name. There’s no easy way to make fun of it and it’s respectable enough so there’s nothing stupid about it.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

It’s stupid.

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Sarah. January 27, 2012 at 12:13 am

No, it’s not……….

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 27, 2012 at 6:44 am

Sigh. So is Sarah, by the way. Unfortunately, that one is too far dug in. We still have time to stop bullshit like Rylan.

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Sarah. January 27, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Yeah, forget cancer and world hunger, this is a big issue. Lets complain on the internet to people who agree with us, maybe start a blog on how other people we don’t know should live their lives.

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Lemonjello Redenbacher January 28, 2012 at 6:49 am

If you’re so concerned with these world issues, why are you wasting time on my site, you hypocritical cunt? Time’s a wastin’ – go save some lives.

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S April 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I hate that fucking name.

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Shea July 30, 2014 at 6:06 pm

this name sucks.

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