by Lemonjello Redenbacher on June 17, 2009

This is exactly the type of name that led us to create this site.  A perfect example of some dumb cunt and her spineless husband going way over the line.  You and I both know that this was her idea, and he was too pussy whipped to tell her the truth — that this name is complete bullshit and no one should ever have to endure a life with this name.

These made up names are the worst of them all — so much worse than overused names like Kaitlynn or McKenzie.  At least those names were cute at one time — before every 3rd couple decided to use them (side note:  if you are thinking of naming your daughter Kaitlynn or McKenzie, you should know that she will take the cock on film some day.  It’s a proven fact).

Bryden is a stupid fucking name.  There is not one person — besides the annoying cunt that came up with it — that doesn’t think so.  It’s the male equivalent to Breckstin (see the Breckstin entry).  I hope this kid ends up moving to my area someday.  I would love to be able to kick his Dad’s ass at a PTA meeting.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Natalie July 26, 2009 at 7:44 pm

O.K., since the kindness between us has ended (you know, me being an idiot and all), let me see if I can get this straight- it’s “going way over the line” for someone to name their kid this name (as stupid as it is), but it’s not “going way over the line” to call some woman a “cunt?”
So, who exactly gets to make the rules here?


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 6:24 am

No, the kindness has not ended (read other post).

But to answer your question, my position is it crosses the line when you do damage to a kid. Adults should be able to fend for themselves. This whole thing was started to point out that some people think only about themselves and how they look to others, instead of how their ridiculous name (that they are so proud of making up or digging up) will affect their kid.


Natalie July 27, 2009 at 7:08 am

Taking your comments from that standpoint (that sometimes parents do not think how the name they have chosen will affect their child) makes them a bit easier to swallow, rather than thinking that your comments are out of sheer contempt. There are so many ways that parents (and, unfortunately, me, as a teacher) affect our kids in negative ways. It’s something that I often have to keep in the back of my mind during the school year- how will my actions/words affect these kids down the road?

In addition to all of this (and out of my curiosity), is there possibly someone you know who has been so negatively affected by an “out-there” kind of name? You seem to feel so strongly about this.

P.S. Glad we’re back on good terms.


Mikiah lancaster October 17, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Hey I wanted to thank you , my name is Mikiah and apparently to whoever the fudge this guy is thinks my name Is stupid and you couldn’t have made a clearer message ;)


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 7:12 am

Me too.

No — no personal stories or anyone close to me that has been affected. My bro and I (Orangello) decided that we were tired of hearing these ridiculous names, so we thought we’d bring it to the world in our own light. Obviously, that light is me being foul-mouthed and loud-mouthed, but hey — I’m cool with that! ;)

It was funny — I was on a road trip out of town this weened and I caught a nationally syndicated morning radio show and they were having the exact same discussion (without the cuss words) that we have on here — about how some people are idiots for naming their kids stupid stuff and thus affecting their lives. Very funny stuff.


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 9:20 am

The other thing too, Natalie, is that all parents — and probably all teachers — will inevitably do many things to negatively influence the kids over their lives. It sucks, but it’s the honest truth. The key is to limit that negative influence as much as possible.

When these people name their kids shit like Dioxander and Titus, they are giving the child a disadvantage from day 1, for no reason whatsoever — other than to try to be “unique.” In my opinion, that’s not a good enough reason to strap a weird name on a kid. We all know that kids can be brutal. Childhood can be hard enough without the added pressure of defending your name constantly. And that’s not even getting into getting your resume past employers as an adult.

Some of these people that come on here and bash me will never admit it, but if they owned a company they would instantly think differently of a person after reading the name Tresco or Wellington on their resume. Yeah, it’s not the most fair thing in the world, but this isn’t a nirvana and sometimes the truth is more brutal than what we would like it to be.

Sorry…a little soap box on top of my bigger soap box there…


Natalie July 27, 2009 at 10:55 am

No sweat.

Where does it end, though?
Kids get made fun of every day for lots of things in addition to their names- their looks, their abilities, their intelligence, their socioeconomic status…the list goes on and on.
Is that to say that certain people should not reproduce for fear of creating a less than intelligent or less than attractive child so they do not get made fun of later?
Seriously, I know what you’re saying and I agree, that, if there’s one thing we definitely have control over, it’s a kid’s name. One less thing to make fun of in that cruel world we call elementary and middle school.

Also, (and I by no means want to get into a discussion on race here, and I apologize in advance if you’ve addressed this issue and I’ve missed it)- what about the people of different races (largely African American) who name their children strange and unusual names? Have they been left off your list for a reason?
Surely you can’t think those names are immune to ridicule?


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 11:00 am

Oh no — we addressed that in the “about” section. Some of these are definitely African American’s kid’s names. I have not intentionally left any race, creed, etc. off — I am an equal opportunity asshole.

There is a funny guy that has a site and he talks about African Americans doing this shit too (a link is in our “about” section, which you can get to from the top of the page here).

And with regard to this question…:

“Is that to say that certain people should not reproduce for fear of creating a less than intelligent or less than attractive child so they do not get made fun of later?”

….no comment. ;)


Natalie July 27, 2009 at 11:13 am


My new buddy has no comment?

Well, that makes me speechless!

And, sorry-

Just realized I should have hyphenated “less-than-intelligent” and “less-than-attractive.”

Guess that makes me “less-than-literate!”


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 11:17 am

Nah — it’s one thing to overlook a particular bit of punctuation or to have some typos. It’s another to anally rape the English language like some people tend to do these days.

Actually I do have a comment, now that you mention it. I do, indeed, think that idiots should not reproduce. We are already bursting at the seams as far as population goes — we could do without the additional morons. Ugly people? Nah — they need to reproduce. Or at least have sex. It keeps them from killing the rest of us.


Natalie July 27, 2009 at 11:21 am

I like how you didn’t place yourself in the “ugly people” category. Very humble. :)


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 11:31 am

Honest too! ;)


Natalie July 27, 2009 at 11:46 am

Honest IS the best policy, you know!

Hey, there you go- how about “Honesty” for a girl’s name? Doesn’t that fit into the same category as “Faith,” “Hope,” “Charity,” and “Prudence?”


Lemonjello Redenbacher July 27, 2009 at 12:14 pm

I actually have seen Honesty as a girl’s name. It’s so ridiculous that I had to save it for a day when I am feeling particularly witty and mean!


Anonymous June 19, 2010 at 6:09 pm

The name is Welsh meine liebe.


Tracey March 8, 2012 at 7:25 am

WOW!!!! kinda harsh calling me a cunt…just cause i named my son Bryden!! its a beautiful name for a beautiful little boy, my husband is not spineless cause he wouldnt tell me the truth, he actually came up with the name himself! your such a lowlife man, not called for!


Lemonjello Redenbacher March 8, 2012 at 7:29 am

I didn’t call YOU anything. I don’t know who the fuck you are. But there’s always an option if you don’t like what I say on my site. You can choose not to come here.


S April 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I hate this fucking name too.


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