Selebraty (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 27, 2015

A woman being sued by her mother on Judge Mathis, Selebraty Jackson. Pronounced celebrity.

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Novalee (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 26, 2015

Apparently, according to a few websites it’s an American modern name combining “nova” (which means “new” in some unknown language) and “lee” which is supposed to mean “field” but I can’t find a language where that actually holds true. So yeah, “New Field”. What a terrible name.

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Beppo (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 25, 2015

Yeah, naming your baby after a super-powered monkey does not give them superpowers.
Or on the other hand, naming your baby after an Italian restaurant does not mean they will succeed in Italian cooking.
This is my cat’s name, and I think the animal shelter staff should have tried harder.

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Zhaden (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 24, 2015

Saw this one in a hicktown newspaper from central PA.

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Hayzley (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 23, 2015

Tattooed on to the father’s forearm in huge letters on the length of the forearm!

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Maicol (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on May 22, 2015

Saw this name at an elementary school today.
WTF?
Is his nickname supposed to be spelled “Maic”?
Sigh…

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Omunique (Dongle Mailbag)

May 21, 2015

I was watching a segment on Maury, shocking I know, called “My 13 year old daughter is a prostitute. The teen prostitute’s name was Omunique (pronounced “I’m unique”).

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Juztyce (Dongle Mailbag)

May 20, 2015

My sister’s friends has a son named this (teen mom, of course). It’s pronounced justice. I asked a few friends how they thought it should be pronounced and they all guessed jooz-tyce. The only explanation I can think of is that she wanted her kid to grow up to become a superhero.

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Galaxy (Dongle Mailbag)

May 19, 2015

Well………….. If u want a child to like space than choose this stupid galaxy name. Really. I call it stupid though. But, if u want your child to like space or u just feel like it, nickame or name.

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Porter (Dongle Mailbag)

May 18, 2015

I go to school with a dude named this. What the hell does it mean? Fuck if I know, or give two heaping shits. Thought this would be a fan-fucking-tastic add to your list. Rock on, dude! I love this site!

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Dadwin (Dongle Mailbag)

May 17, 2015

I work in a call center and this gem called in. I had to ask him to spell it phonetically.

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Spartacus (Dongle Mailbag)

May 16, 2015

I heard this one on the local news. Thankfully, the fucker with this name is going to prison, as told by the news. Jesus uni-cycling Christ.

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Stryker (Dongle Mailbag)

May 15, 2015

My son plays ice hockey and box lacrosse. We usually do 2 tournaments a year, and they give you a program, with all the teams rosters that are at the tourney. These are a great source for getting a good laugh at all the stupid, fucked up names. Sometimes teams have 2 Dawson’s, or 2 […]

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Brix (Dongle Mailbag)

May 14, 2015

My fiancé said a co-worker of hers is gonna name her son this stupid-ass name

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Tinkle (Dongle Mailbag)

May 13, 2015

I used to work with a woman named Tinkle. For the love of everything I always wondered why she never went by her middle name, unless for some reason that was worse. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat & wipe the seat!

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Shi-ton (Dongle Mailbag)

May 12, 2015

Another one I remember from substitute teaching. Pronounced, Shee-TAWN. In the gradebook it didn’t have the hyphen so it looked like Shiton. Shi-ton got Shit On by his/her Mom.

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Taber

April 23, 2015

I was a deacon years ago and had to preach at little Taber’s baptism. I made a connection to Mt. Tabor, where Jesus was transfigured. Well grandma was thrilled at the idea that a random joining of two syllables could be accidentally religious. Accidentally was the only way this couple was going to be religious. […]

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Hencye (Dongle Mailbag)

April 22, 2015

Kid I know. It’s apparently a family name…. Growing up with it might be why he’s such a dick, though. A family name?  What fucking family – the Addams family?

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Sha’tonka (Dongle Mailbag)

April 21, 2015

Saw this name on Maury Povich. She was a beast of a woman who reminded me of a big ‘ol Tonka Truck.

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Bursaus

April 19, 2015

I can’t decide if this sounds more like a type of dinosaur, or something that grows on your foot.

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A’Honesty

April 18, 2015

You want A’Honesty?  This name is A’Shitty.

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Zylar

April 17, 2015

Wayyyy too close to what balloons are made out of.

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Maxo (Dongle Mailbag)

April 16, 2015

STUPID IDIOT! Damn.  I guess you don’t like ol’ Maxo.

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Casche

April 15, 2015

Sounds like a wrong pronunciation of Cache, which is a popular name in India. But it is still faster. Wait – Cache is a popular name in India?  What the fuck is going on over there?!?!

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Skylyr (Dongle Mailbag)

April 14, 2015

Just when you thought that the name Skylar/Skyler couldn’t get any more vomit-inducing.

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