Aylmer (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 17, 2014

I hate it. It’s from a surname which was a variant of Elmer.

It’s also a town in Canada (HI CANADA!!!!).  Actually, as shitty as this is as a name, this town looks fucking awesome!  Their website says, “Step back in time, to a less hurried pace of life.  Hear the hooves of horse and buggy. Take in the mecca of quaint boutiques, fragrant bakeries & historic homes and buildings. Linger a while in one of our beautiful parks…”

Ahhhh…sounds just like a giant god damned bathtub full of Calgon.

That is until I see the recent headline about the double homicide linked to organized crime.  Sigh…the good days really are over for good.

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Tayton (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 16, 2014

A redneck name that is difficult to pronounce and pisses me off. I think the last T is not supposed to be pronounced, or maybe it is? who cares, no one will take this person seriously anyway.

It’s fascinating to me how many “rednecks” are racist and make comments about black people naming their kids made up shit – but then they go and do stuff like this.  Brilliant.

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Tayven (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 15, 2014

One gal in town named her boy that and within 2 years, 3 more went with that and got all kinda butt hurt because each “made up that name” just for their little darling but it keeps getting stolen by all those other white trash bitches! I know, right?!?

When it rains, it pours.

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Trinittee (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 14, 2014

Why stop at 2 Es – why not make it three for a true trinity!

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Kaystin (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 13, 2014

Saw this on Facebook today when a friend “liked”a photo of her friend’s new baby, Kaystin. I think it may be a girl, as there was a pink balloon hiding in the background, but it could go either way. Just awful.

 

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My’Osha

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 12, 2014

This sounds like a name for an African-American Pokemon (Level 2).

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Rhyan

December 11, 2014

If you say this name out loud, it makes you wonder if Mom was whispering the name from her death bed. Oh, and also – Rhyan is a girl.  So there you go.  Fucked all around.

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Killian (Dongle Mailbag)

December 10, 2014

Do you guys remember Killian’s Irish Red beer?  Does that shit still exist?  Does anyone drink that anymore? I remember back in the 90s when all of those “red” beers exploded for a bit.  I drank so much of that shit, I pissed rivers of red, blood-like piss for months.  In hindsight, it was a […]

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Scenic

December 9, 2014

They’d better hope she turns out hot, and even then, she will catch shit for a shitty name.  Ugly?  The horrors will never cease.

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Asula

December 8, 2014

Sounds like a Dracula parody.  “I am Asula! I vant to suck your shit!”

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Saint

December 6, 2014

I guarantee this child will not be a saint, perhaps quite the opposite. Pete Wentz saddled his poor bastard with it. But for someone who named their first kid Bronx I should not be surprised. But here you go.

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Ashwin (Dongle Mailbag)

December 5, 2014

Sounds like a fucking bicycle.

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Tyden (Dongle Mailbag)

December 4, 2014

Ryden, Hayden, Aiden, Ayden, Kyden, Baiden, Bladen, Cayden, Kaiden – those names all fit the bill of the Stupid Names List, so welcome home, Tyden!

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Pashana (Dongle Mailbag)

December 3, 2014

Cousin of mine. I’ve always wanted to cry for her lol I Googled this shit box and apparently Pashana is the name of a line of hair grooming products.  Does your cousin’s mom have luxurious, flowing locks?  If so, I think I just figured out where she got the name from.

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La-ah/Le-a (Dongle Mailbag)

December 2, 2014

Pronounced La dash ah, not la, as it looks. Thank you for this submission – BUT ENOUGH WITH THE LA-AH ALREADY!  I get this fucking name submitted to me every day, and I have yet to see proof that anyone on Earth actually has been given this name.  Even Snopes has looked into it and […]

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Hashtag

December 1, 2014

Fuck you, parents.  Fuck you straight to hell.

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Trillian (Dongle Mailbag)

November 30, 2014

It should be a sin to name your kids after characters in satirical science fiction. after hearing this name called out at the Wal-Mart though, I was more shocked that her parents read any books at all, let alone “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” Fuck a sin – it should be a crime!

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Mo’ne

November 28, 2014

I don’t even know where to start with this one. It is apparently pronounces Moe-nay and it has Claude Monet rolling in his grave. Anyone that needs to add an apostrophe to their child’s first name should really re-think having children. Now that this name is held by a child that is seen as potentially […]

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Hypatia of Alexandria (Dongle Mailbag)

November 27, 2014

Friend of mine named his little girl Hypatia of Alexandria (with no last name that is this baby’s actual full name) Your friend is a pompous asshole.

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Baylour (Dongle Mailbag)

November 26, 2014

Someone from high school named their kid “Baylour.” I can only imagine the thought process. “It’s like the university, but if it were British! Sophistication!” Don’t forget that Baylor’s mascot is a bear.  Know what else is called a bear?  A large, hairy gay fella.  Have fun in high school, Baylour.

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Neveah-LeeAM’thyst (Dongle Mailbag)

November 24, 2014

They BUTCHERED three names Names?!?!  I don’t see ANY names in this alphabetical crap-cake.  Lee maybe?  Yeah, Lee is the only thing resembling a name here.

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Gunner (Dongle Mailbag)

November 23, 2014

Gunner is a name given to a future murderer and was probably picked out by a republican hick/hillbilly named Hunter, Fisher or Archer. While I somewhat agree, Gunner is not really too uncommon – at least in the Midwest.  Not uncommon enough, anyway.

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Fugaboo (Dongle Mailbag)

November 22, 2014

This was submitted via the Dongle Mailbag without comment.  I’m not sure how you can learn of someone with this name and NOT comment, but it is what it is. I did some Googling and it seems that Fugaboo is many things – a website in Austin Texas that’s for, well, I can’t really figure […]

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Schelbi (Dongle Mailbag)

November 21, 2014

Dude, I don’t even. As soon as I saw she named her child this, I unfriended her. Good move.  But you should take it a step further and unfriend her in real life – and in person.

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Halloween

November 20, 2014

Boo!  Pretty scary, huh?

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