Tamarro

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on March 29, 2015

Sounds like a product you’d use to repel ants.

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Rhaki (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on March 28, 2015

White girl in a corporate atmosphere.

Named Rhaki.

pronounced like Rocky.

WTF

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Ambrosia Lynn (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on March 27, 2015

I’m sorry, did you just know by looking at her that she was destined to be a stripper?

(Disclaimer: I have no idea if she is actually a stripper. She is friends sister..but still….seriously)

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Jamariauna (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on March 26, 2015

I used to be a teaching assistant. One time, while going over the class list for the upcoming school year, I found this doozy: Jamariauna. Is it just me, or does it look like somebody just rearranged the letters in “marijuana”? There was also a Chardonnay on the list that year. Classy!

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Kemykal (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on March 25, 2015

Like chemical…. Only cooler. Really… Sounds like a death metal band.

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Mignon (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on March 24, 2015

This is stupid on several levels. It apparently means “cute” in French, and who would name their kid Cute? Worse still, it’s used for girls by American parents, oblivious of the fact that it’s the masculine form of the word in French. Finally, the poor kids tagged with this idiotic (non)name have to go through life suffering steak jokes.

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Sleeper (Dongle Mailbag)

March 23, 2015

A teacher at my high school named her son this. Middle name was Westley (after The Princess Bride) and Sleeper was someone’s grandma’s surname, so we all kind of assumed he’d go by Wes. Nope. Parents insisted he go by Sleeper. Wow.

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Gussie (Dongle Mailbag)

March 22, 2015

OH LAWDY.

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Trasha

March 21, 2015

Tra-shay supposedly, but all I see is trash. You and everyone else.

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Jomoniel (Dongle Mailbag)

March 20, 2015

I hope this kid gets good grades. This is setting him up for a minimum wage job or at least a lot of rejected resumes thanks to his mother.

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Zenna (Dongle Mailbag)

March 19, 2015

I mean, are we at this point in society when we are just throwing names at the wall to see what sticks? She has a kid sister named Zara and a baby brother on the way. My money is on Ziggler! I don’t know…my money’s on Zipper.

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Cricket

March 18, 2015

I’ve heard this name on several occasions, and each time I just wonder why?  How did this come about?  At what point did someone just get completely stumped on what to name their kid, and then settle on an insect that keeps you awake at night?

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Sekoya (Dongle Mailbag)

March 17, 2015

I just saw a picture of this girl….she was neither a tree or a Native American tribe.

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Agamemnon (Dongle Mailbag)

March 16, 2015

Back to the Greek Gods now, are we?  This is where I usually research the mythological character and present a list of atrocities that he or she has been involved with.  But you know what?  I’m not gonna do that this time because, well, it doesn’t really matter when you’re naming your kid fucking AGAMEMNON! […]

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Kwamica (Dongle Mailbag)

March 15, 2015

Kwamica sounds like a holiday that would be celebrated in a household consisting of African-American and Jewish residents.

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Santeria

March 14, 2015

So, my brother is considering giving this name to his baby if it’s a girl. I wish I was kidding. His reasoning is “it’s like the Sublime song.” What. The. Hell. Hopefully I can talk some sense into him before the baby comes. Hmmmm….maybe inform him that Santeria is a religion known for practicing animal […]

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Kasilk

March 13, 2015

At some point, you just have to shake your head and stare to prevent your body from going into shock with this shit.

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Zoi (Dongle Mailbag)

March 12, 2015

Zoi?  I guess it’s supposed to be pronounced like Zoey, huh?  No matter – she will be called Zoy her entire life.  For shame.

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Finnlee

March 11, 2015

Tthis nname suckks.

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Meryssa (Dongle Mailbag)

March 10, 2015

There’s really no need to give Marissa a “unique” spelling. She’ll still be the only one in her class.

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Royd (Dongle Mailbag)

March 9, 2015

I had to write Happy Birthday ROYD on a cake and had a very hard time as I was laughing my face off!! Very cruel parents!!! Fucking Royd?!?!  Was his Dad Barry Bonds, by chance?

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Abbigayl (Dongle Mailbag)

March 8, 2015

I have the pleasure of working in a call center and often have to call people born in the ’90s….here’s yet another beauty from the golden age of creative names for idiot’s offspring.

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Osbaldo (dongle Mailbag)

March 7, 2015

This guy that goes to my school. Pronounced (Oz – bald – oh ) Sorry for not using the fancy pronunciation thing, thats too much effort. No apology needed – that shit’s hard to do.

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BGC

March 6, 2015

Pronounced bee-gee-cee  And believe it or not, his sister’s got a regular name.

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Indaeyanna (Dongle Mailbag)

March 5, 2015

My child’s classmate name is Indaeyanna, I don’t know how their parents came up with that ridiculous name I’m guessing their either big fans of the Raiders of the Lost Ark, or are from the land of the Hoosiers.  Either way – their kid is but a toy to them, apparently.

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