Bayge (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on January 30, 2015

Yet another stupid name I found to send to you…..Bayge, pronounced “beige”

Why thank you very much, Anonymous submitter.

If you’re going to name your kid after a color, why the hell would you choose the most boring color on Earth?  Fucking shoot for the moon – name her Periwinkle or Burnt Sienna or some shit like that.

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D’zyah (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on January 29, 2015

D’ Ziiiiiiiiiyah.

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Sugargirl (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on January 28, 2015

Someone submitted this to me with no explanation whatsoever.  Where the FUCK do you get off doing that?  You can’t just lay this turd onto my monitor and walk away without telling me more about where you found it!

That’s like showing up to a party completely covered in horse blood and blueberry jam, and starting to mingle without explaining yourself.

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Raychul (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on January 27, 2015

Rachel, right?  A fucked up spelling of Rachel?  Maybe – but it turns out someone names a BOY this shit.

That’s worse than a boy named Soo.

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We’ve missed y’all

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on January 27, 2015

Sorry for the prolonged absence, everybody. Life’s been busy. Enjoy this sketch near and dear to our hearts and yours to tide you over until we return.

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Malaise (Dongle Mailbag)

by Lemonjello Redenbacher on January 7, 2015

I SAW A LADY NAMED MALAISE ON FAMILY FEUD, HONEST TO GOD

1. Malaise
Malaise is a feeling of general discomfort or uneasiness, of being “out of sorts”, often the first indication of an infection or other disease. The word has existed in the French language since at least the 12th century.

“Top 10 answers are on the board – what is the shittiest thing you could name a child?”

Ding!  “Malaise”

“Show me….Malaise!”  DING DING DING!  “Number 1 answer!”

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Ceheira (Dongle Mailbag)

January 6, 2015

THIS IS PRONOUNCED “SIERRA” …HOW CLEVER……THERE ARE SOME REAL IDIOTS ON THIS PLANET! Holy shit!  I thought we’d already gone to the ends of the Earth with shitty spellings, but this one pushed the envelope even further.  If I had attempted to say this without her telling me how to pronounce it, I would be […]

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Penumbra (Dongle Mailbag)

January 5, 2015

Just google penumbra, and you’ll understand. I really didn’t think this could be a name until I saw it for myself. Well, you heard the man.  Go on & Google it.  You’ll see.

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Ayugha (Dongle Mailbag)

January 2, 2015

Straight from the man named Ayugha: Pronounced i-ow-a. Like… like Iowa. Only… not.  So… Ayugha or Iowa. (can I get a BLEH??) I mean… points for originality (I spent months researching the name, only to come to the conclusion that I am the only person on the face of the earth with it) but c’mon […]

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Lennon (Dongle Mailbag)

December 30, 2014

For shit’s sake – can we stop naming our kids after musicians?  John Lennon was a junkie & his wife was a meddling whore.  There.  I said it.

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Braven (Dongle Mailbag)

December 23, 2014

Kid better live up to his name, because he’ll need to be brave to deal with the shit storm of verbal abuse.

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Aylmer (Dongle Mailbag)

December 17, 2014

I hate it. It’s from a surname which was a variant of Elmer. It’s also a town in Canada (HI CANADA!!!!).  Actually, as shitty as this is as a name, this town looks fucking awesome!  Their website says, “Step back in time, to a less hurried pace of life.  Hear the hooves of horse and […]

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Tayton (Dongle Mailbag)

December 16, 2014

A redneck name that is difficult to pronounce and pisses me off. I think the last T is not supposed to be pronounced, or maybe it is? who cares, no one will take this person seriously anyway. It’s fascinating to me how many “rednecks” are racist and make comments about black people naming their kids […]

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Tayven (Dongle Mailbag)

December 15, 2014

One gal in town named her boy that and within 2 years, 3 more went with that and got all kinda butt hurt because each “made up that name” just for their little darling but it keeps getting stolen by all those other white trash bitches! I know, right?!? When it rains, it pours.

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Trinittee (Dongle Mailbag)

December 14, 2014

Why stop at 2 Es – why not make it three for a true trinity!

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Kaystin (Dongle Mailbag)

December 13, 2014

Saw this on Facebook today when a friend “liked”a photo of her friend’s new baby, Kaystin. I think it may be a girl, as there was a pink balloon hiding in the background, but it could go either way. Just awful.  

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My’Osha

December 12, 2014

This sounds like a name for an African-American Pokemon (Level 2).

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Rhyan

December 11, 2014

If you say this name out loud, it makes you wonder if Mom was whispering the name from her death bed. Oh, and also – Rhyan is a girl.  So there you go.  Fucked all around.

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Killian (Dongle Mailbag)

December 10, 2014

Do you guys remember Killian’s Irish Red beer?  Does that shit still exist?  Does anyone drink that anymore? I remember back in the 90s when all of those “red” beers exploded for a bit.  I drank so much of that shit, I pissed rivers of red, blood-like piss for months.  In hindsight, it was a […]

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Scenic

December 9, 2014

They’d better hope she turns out hot, and even then, she will catch shit for a shitty name.  Ugly?  The horrors will never cease.

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Asula

December 8, 2014

Sounds like a Dracula parody.  “I am Asula! I vant to suck your shit!”

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Saint

December 6, 2014

I guarantee this child will not be a saint, perhaps quite the opposite. Pete Wentz saddled his poor bastard with it. But for someone who named their first kid Bronx I should not be surprised. But here you go.

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Ashwin (Dongle Mailbag)

December 5, 2014

Sounds like a fucking bicycle.

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Tyden (Dongle Mailbag)

December 4, 2014

Ryden, Hayden, Aiden, Ayden, Kyden, Baiden, Bladen, Cayden, Kaiden – those names all fit the bill of the Stupid Names List, so welcome home, Tyden!

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Pashana (Dongle Mailbag)

December 3, 2014

Cousin of mine. I’ve always wanted to cry for her lol I Googled this shit box and apparently Pashana is the name of a line of hair grooming products.  Does your cousin’s mom have luxurious, flowing locks?  If so, I think I just figured out where she got the name from.

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