by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 31, 2013

Like the sound a fucking bird makes.  Is this the start of some fucking trend?  Are we going to see Caw or Gobble soon too?



by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 30, 2013

Just fucking end this year already!

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by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 28, 2013

If you say this out loud it sounds like you were about to address someone named Elizabeth and you got interrupted.



by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 27, 2013

This name also describes Mom’s mental state.

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by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 26, 2013

If this name were anymore Irish, this girl would get drunk & beat the shit out of herself!



by Lemonjello Redenbacher on December 25, 2013

Stick this piece of shit in your pipe & smoke it! Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers!



December 24, 2013

I hope Santa brings his parents a swift kick in the ass tonight.

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December 23, 2013

The rare hippie-hipster name combo.

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December 21, 2013

Get it yet?  It’s Messiah.  That shit is bad enough when spelled properly, but Christ – when you spell it like your keyboard as Tourette Syndrome it’s 100 times worse.

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December 20, 2013

Holy shit – these people apparently gave birth to a 78 year old poker player!

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December 19, 2013

  Squirrel noun: an agile tree-dwelling rodent with a bushy tail, typically feeding on nuts and seed. Great fucking idea, Mom & Dad!

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December 18, 2013

Welp – now we’re naming our kids after burritos.  Congratulations, America – we’re officially baby name bankrupt!

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December 17, 2013

This name is only acceptable if you’ve given birth to a full grown ghetto stripper.

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December 16, 2013


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December 14, 2013

I have a rule that any “name idea” containing a “zz” should be scrapped.

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December 13, 2013

I guess it’s better than I-Antartica? Maybe?

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December 12, 2013

I tried to research this name, but the results I got were for some city in California instead.  The city was described as the “perfect balance of hood & good.” So, if the parents were shooting for that, maybe this kid will be a straight A student with a penchant for selling crack.

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December 11, 2013

…you’ll know well in advance that you’ll have to vie for attention time with 1-3 illegitimate kids and/or a pet snake.

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December 10, 2013

Good health food, shitty name.

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December 9, 2013

This is not mean spirited – hell, it’s not even that stupid, to be honest.  But come on – GILLEY?  That’s just fucking ridiculous.   It sounds like the noise you make when you’re tickling an infant’s chin, trying to get her to laugh.  Ahhhh….gilley, gilley, gilley, gilley…..Ahhhhh….gilley, gilley, gilley…

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December 7, 2013

I can only assume that this is a misspelled version of the word tempest.  A tempest, for those who are not familiar, is a violent storm. I’m not so sure that giving your kid a name that directly correlates with violence is a great idea.  And besides – Tornado, Blizzard & Hurricane all sound WAY […]

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December 6, 2013

Setting aside the utter ridiculousness of naming a child after carpentry materials – did they not consider the fact that “wood” is slang for an erect penis?

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September 16, 2013

Before you skip over this one as another La-a (Ladasha) type name that may or may not be real (I get dozens of emails a week from people telling me they know a La-a – pronounced La-dsah-a – yet no one I know has ever really met someone with this name).  But this one is […]

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September 10, 2013

Can’t decide between 2 names? Fuck it – smash those fuckers together and call it one!

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September 6, 2013

An anonymous commenter asked me to do this name next.  While I don’t really hate the name per se – fuck it.  I aim to please!

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